Busy days...

Well the next few days are busy prior to our trip. Tomorrow Zach has his last day of speech school...they had a summer program for the kids for only a few weeks...he will return to that school in August. This is the school he goes to through the school district...it was on base and has been moved to a nearby town...it takes the van to and from school...about a 30 minute drive from our house. He loves his teacher and seems to like the new school and longer drive. His days there are not as fun as his other school...more directed work on things like speech, motor skills, group work...all the things that are struggles. He has done well there and learned a lot...he goes there 3 days a week starting August 18th...His other school in Palmdale is two days a week...he is attending their summer program and it continues until August...he has a week break between the fall semester starting and moving to the 4 year old class there. I am excited to know he will move up with his age group and hopeful he will do well and have no issues with that transition. He has so much ahead of him...I hope that at least the school situation will be a place he feels safe. Tomorrow he will go to school in the morning and then we have speech therapy in town at 5 PM. Thursday we are heading to Bakersfield to get him assessed to see if he qualifies for occupational and behavioral therapies...we live in Kern County and Bakersfield is where the regional center is located. If he is approved these would be therapies he would get at home. I am hopeful he qualifies...any additional help is something we are glad to take! Then we have to run Sally to the kennel that night and we are off Friday AM to the airport and our trip to NC...so much! I just feel like time is ticking away for us and each day we get closer to Brandon leaving and things we need to do. I hate that feeling...something I haven't missed since leaving Texas, but I remember it well. I am sad to know Brandon will be gone so long and be so far away. It is hard not to be jealous a little of people's whose husbands don't have to go or got stateside "deployemnts". I am not a jealous person usually. I know he will miss so much of the kids lives. He will be alone and not with friends or people he knows and doing a job that isn't something he has interest in, just filling a position. I know the kids will miss him desperatley. I know it will be hard and confusing for both of them in different ways. I am sure I will have a lot of acting out from them and issues that arise due to his abesence. And selfishly...I am a bit scared for me. I don't have a good support network here. I have a serious lacking in friends at this time. I just don't feel very close to the friends I do have and sometimes question the sencerity of those friendships. I know that I have great friends and family in my life, but no one here wtih me daily and that is scary. I won't lie. Before I have had people I rely on and close friends to help me get through those moments. I haven't had two kids and one with special needs to be met. This will be a challenge for me and as much as I know it, I hope I am prepared for it. Most of all...I will miss him. We fight...we piss each other off...we communicate poorly...we aren't a perfect couple by any measure...but we love each other and we love our kids and our life as a family. I will miss having him to turn to in a time of need and to share those special moments...the ones only he really gets.
Like tongiht. Another little thing for most, but big thing for us. Zach was a pill most of the day. Just crabby. He has had a few meltdowns (fits, whatever word you choose) the past few days that are just a bit more than normal. Today he was just full of whining and crabbiness. So tonight I was shocked when Brandon got him out of the tub and told him to get dressed by himself. I tried this technique this morning and was met with tears and total refusal. So...tonight he whined and he said he couldn't, but he did. He was offered 20 minutes with his Leapster before bed if he did it himself...and God Bless him...he did. He struggled, but he did it. And he was so proud of himself...he danced around the room, gave us huge hugs and kisses...it was great. Those moments are special, but even more so when we can share them together...I will miss that the most I think...
So...that is where I am tonight...a bit sad, but there are lots of highs and lows to come in the next few weeks and for sure months...Hopefully tomorrow I have more pep in my step...