First Day!

Okay these uploaded backwards....but you still get the idea...this is the gym where they had us do drop off...they line up there in the AM and walk to class with the teacher from there. A bit impersonal for me, but I tried not to be upset and not follow! I wanted to do the second one. :) He did so well. He was super excited and very ready to go. He found his friend from the pool right away and was so ready to see him...it made it easier for both of us.

I saw a friend from our neighborhood there and she chatted with me...kept me from crying and breaking down. I think because he did so well I was able to keep it together. Plus I cried for a long time last night and had already let myself just be sad. Today was about him and be excited and happy for him...I owed him that. As always he amazes me and does so much more than I expect...I hope this year, this school, this teacher all click for him and that the changes we are seeing continue, his progress continues and he will be ready for all that fun things that are ahead of him. I am trying to figure out how to get from 8-3 without him...it will be awhile for me, but I am just so thrilled for him. I do have to say, I miss him already and it is 11.
Waving bye to me with his new friend Brody behind him.
All smiles, all morning from him.
Mommy and her buddy....
My handsome boy...hard to believe that he is this old already!
I hope your first day was all you had hoped for Zachary and I can't wait to hear about it...

Kindergarten...

Oh that face! I love it and I love him....every single thing about him. Hard to believe tomorrow will be his first day in Kindergarten...as excited for him and this adventure he is about to go on, I am selfishly sad for myself. This little boy has been a blessing no words can describe. I wanted nothing more than to be a mom and was so blessed to have two amazing children. I have been more than humbled by the experience and forever changed. I am thankful and grateful every day for each of them. I am also very thankful for the chance to stay home with them. I have honestly enjoy it more than I can say. Yes, there are rough days, but the good always have outweighed the bad for me. California wasn't a great time for me, but for 4 years I had the best pal in the world with me through it all. He was the rainbow for me.

It is hard to believe that tomorrow I will walk him into school and a big part of our journey as mom and child is ending...a new chapter starts. One where he will be more independent. He will rely on me less and learn new things that I won't be a part of seeing. I can't lie, that is killing me. I have been with Zach for 5 years...I have enjoyed watching him grow, learn and develop. His personality is the best...his smile and laugh are infectious and I wish I could bottle them up and save. He is the best hugger in the world. I get more hugs and kisses from in one day than I think most moms get in a week...it is so wonderful. He is smart and funny and kind. He is also so capable and I know he will do well...I am not sure I will do as well being without him. I am excited for all that he will be able to do and I know he is ready. I am also excited to have some time alone with Erin and be able to develop more of a bond with her one on one...we have so little of that time really. But, I will miss him. I think the reality that this is it...the last time in our lives that he will be all mine and not in school full time. For me it is a reality that he is a big boy and no matter how sweet, little and cuddly he is, he is growing up.

We have had an amazing last week though, and I am so thankful for the things we have seen this week in him. He was been trying so hard to master a few things and done great. He also has been so social and excited about playing with kids his age. He finally said good bye to the vest at the pool and is officially swimming. WHOO HOO! He has gone to the pool 3 days in a row with no vest, played with other kids and done great. We have seen lots of good behavior this week and are feeling much more optimistic for school. He even met a friend at the pool yesterday that will be in his class!!

I know he has his issues, but I am confident that he will do well and he will be okay...he is remarkable and I am so proud of him.

I am so lucky to have gotten to be his mom and I hope that he always knows how much I have treasured my time at home with him. It seems like 5 years went by in the blink of an eye and I am trying to be thankful for all of it and seem like it was too fast.

Good luck tomorrow Zachary Jay...you will do wonderfully and I am so very proud of you!

After ten weeks...finally a haircut!!! Oh thank God! I loved the person I went to, David Troy! Super nice and did a great job. I am happy! A bit more expensive than CA, but in reality I think that is fine. I am all about a good haircut. :)

Play date fun!

Well this has been a week of fun play dates for us. We had one on Tuesday with a lady up the street and her two children. Her son is 4 1/2 and daughter 18 months, so about 6 months younger than each of my kids. She is a stay at home mom too and lives a few doors up...her husband is in the Army. Met at an indoor play place nearby and the kids did great...we had fun talking and I think she is super nice and normal. She called last night to see if we want to get together tomorrow. Yeah. Today we had a play date with my new friend Kristine. Her husband is retired Army (I am becoming a total crossover) and they just moved here last month. Her son is going into Kinder and is turning 6 next week and has another son who is 3...We had met up with them twice before and she and I have emailed a bunch in between. She is hilarious and someone I really click with, so that is great. She is very down to earth, fun and is just easy to be around. I can talk to her, say what I think and low and behold, we are usually on the same page. Awesome! She reminds me a lot in personality of a great friend of mine (April). She is a little older than me, she is who she is and owns and has a wickedly funny side that I love. So April I might not be able to move you near me, but I am seeking out friends in your image. :) It was so fun to go and chat for two hours while the kids played and had fun...much better than our last pool play date last week....

Oh on that note. Yes, I spoke to Kristine and watched Erin and our kids played. Yes, they played. Zach swam and played with the other boys the entire two hours non stop. Never did I have to redirect. Never did I have to try to remind him or reward him...he did it on his own. He also....drum roll please...swam! NO VEST! We got there and he asked if he could have the vest...I told him he should try without since the other boys didn't have one and they would stay in the 3ft or below area, no one could go in the 5ft, so no one needed a vest...he never asked again....he swam, went under, played, etc. It was AWESOME! He jumped in and out and played for 2 hours, no vest and no mommy help...OH MY! I was beyond thrilled and beyond proud and he knew it. I told him when we got home how happy I was. He told me, I did better on this play date, I played and I swam with no vest like a big boy. Yes you did Zach! He talked to me for a few minutes and then asked if he could go play his car upstairs and I told him he earned his 15 minutes of car (GPS-stim) time. I really can't tell you how amazing this day was for me and felt. Not only do I think I have finally met a great new friend that I really like...she loves to read, loves shopping, eating new and fun food, wants to see the movies I want to see, she loves to walk but isn't into exercising at gyms. Oh my! It is like another me in the world. :) Ha ha! I think we will get along great and even if the kids didn't do well together, I think we will be friends. A good day for me!

Tonight is meet the teacher. I am nervous, excited, etc. So much! I will post later with those updates too..

Quotes...

I have always been a big fan of Quotes...I have found a few great ones lately that really like and "speak" to me....

For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. Happiness is a journey, not a destination... Souza

*I love this one...I think that is so true for so many people. We fail to just go through life as a journey and we spend far too much time worrying about all the little things. I find myself doing that all the time and I just need to breathe and let myself enjoy the days I have as they are...There will always be things to do and things I need to fix. I can't live life like that...I want and try to live in the moment and just enjoy. Some days I succeed and others I don't, but I know I just need to keep trying and make the most of every day I have...every gift I have.

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away."

*So true....I think more often of moments that have made me happy and really moved me...that is what life is about.

Autism (with a capital “A”) to me, says that I accept my child wholly. I celebrate his differences and his quirky-ness. I advocate diversity. I try to empower him. I am proud of his successes, no matter how small they seem. I hope he holds onto the compassion he has in his heart into adulthood. I do not think he needs “fixing”. I am proud that he is my son, and sometimes I am humbled by that very same thought.

*This one really speaks to how I feel...how Brandon and I both feel. It is easy for people to say don't tell people what Zach has, but it is who he is. It is what we as a family are...we deal with this every day and in every way...it isn't absent from our home just because we don't talk about it and not sharing it almost makes me feel like we are ashamed of him. We went to the pool last night and saw two boys playing with their dad....throwing a ball in the water and jumping in to catch it. I watched for a few minutes as they laughed and had a ball....then shifted my view to Zachary...playing alone jumping in and out of the water. I asked Brandon if it ever bothered him that he can't do that stuff with Zach and might never be able to...without any hesitation he said NO. He told me, I love that little boy just as he is. We can do plenty of cool and fun things together in life and it doesn't have to be what everyone else is doing to be great. As long as he is happy that is all that matters. I think I fell in love with him all over again...to know he loves Zach just as I do and really does love him as he is...I am so thankful that we share this beautiful boy and both of us would move mountains for him...we love him in good moments and bad and we will always support him together. I am pretty lucky when you think about it.

Anyhow...just a few quotes I have enjoyed reading the past few days...wanted to share....I am off to enjoy my day!

A few steps back...

Well the past few weeks here have been a bit rough. We have taken some steps back in all the progress we made with Zach and seeing some definite regression in areas that we had tackled last year. It is painful to watch. Frustrating to try to fix the problems again and difficult to try to go back and know what and how we can change things.

I find myself having to spend a lot of one on one time with him again working on things and that then means Erin is often in front of the TV or being told no. Engaging him with her present is often hard. I have brought back out the schedule. The reward chart and chore charts are back and today we started to discuss his circle of friends...the idea to get him to understand people we can hug, be affectionate with, etc. I spent quite a while on that today and made a chart...will continue to work on that since it is an area that concerns me with him being in school. Basically if you are nice to Zach, he will hug you and within a day tell you he loves you. I know I am a big hugger, but he is a bit overboard on it. It is scary because he isn't aware that there are boundaries for other people, himself and levels of being close to people. I hope this is something he catches on to quickly. We also had the stranger discussion...again another thing I hope he really gets.

We had had a lot of meltdowns lately...me and him to be honest. I have a hard time not taking it personally and getting down on myself when I see him fall back and struggle. I know he is capable of so much more. He is very obsessed with maps, road systems and the GPS. He literally can memorize a city in days. It is scary. He asks everyone for their address. It is something he thinks about all day. I offer him time to play or do his GPS (basically his self stim), but recently he is just not as able to let it go. He had a play date the other day with Avery...his mom and I knew each other in Abilene...sweet boy and a child I would love to have Zach be friends with. However you can't make people be friends. I think Zach showed that he was sweet and polite, but not a good fit and I am sad to say I don't think they will hang out again like that. I hate that, but it is a fact we are realizing. He isn't a child that plays well with others, he has obsessions and interests that are not normal for most kids his age. I can't make him like toys they like, but I wish I could...

He went to a group speech, social group, on Wednesday night. I think he will do well with this...should do that once a month I think with two boys who have the same diagnosis as him. He also did one on one speech and seems to like the therapist. He had his ABA evaluation today and they will call Monday to set up the therapies for that...not sure how much they will recommend based on what they saw today, but we know that we might have to adjust his school day to make room for these things. We have him in swimming and plan to continue that year round at that school...he loves it and it is a great skill he needs. He also was signed up for youth soccer. I hope he enjoys that too. I want to have him do more outside of school than therapies...I think he needs that interaction, physical stimulus and keeping himself busy. I thought when we left CA that we would be able to put him in regular Kindergarten with little therapies and let him do a sport or activity out of school and that would be it...but the summer has proven to be a bit rougher than I had planned.

So...with a week to school I am scared. I am not sure how he will handle the routine, the schedule of school, the other children, the new teacher, etc. How he will handle 8-3. What he will do in moments of being overwhelmed and scared. I am just so nervous for him. At least I have his bed time closer to the right time...7:45 tonight, the goal is 7 by the night of school. :) Erin is back to 8:15...so we are doing much better on that.

I know that all children regress in the summer...I get that...but after what we have done with him and the progress we saw it is sad to see how much he has gone back. I pray that a few weeks in school and therapy will be enough to help get him back on track.

Today I chose some water coloring for us to do while he and Erin were at home with me....I didn't want any big outings before his evaluation at 1...so they had fun and he did a great job. He drew a picture and wrote a note with me to his old teacher to send her. He tried and for that I was thankful. Erin...well she liked swirling the paintbrush in the water a lot. :)

Here is his masterpiece...

Love the concentration....

Notice she is on the mat not the paper...oh well.
Hopefully the weekend will be fun for all of us...I just want to enjoy him as much as I can before school starts.

Just wanted to share some cute photos of my little Erin...last night the boys went out to show the car to a family that was interested in the civic...they had to go to the other side of town and decided to have dinner on the way home...so I had a lot of alone time with Erin, which is actually pretty rare.  She is such a fun little girl.  She has such an animated personality. If she is happy or upset, she is full force. She is sweet, loving, smart and full of life. I love her to bits and I am so thankful every day for her, the best surprise of my life!

Here she is giggling up a storm with Sally....you can see part of Sally there on the couch. 

The ladies...
Pretty face...even if it has some oreo cookie on it!  :)
Loved how she was sprawled out on the floor with her toy in front of the tv.  
I feel so lucky that I have gotten to have such a sweet amazing little girl in my life...she and Zachary are great children. I know I spend much more time on here bragging about Zach's accomplishments or things he is doing...and it is never that I don't love her as much or think she does great things too...she just doesn't have to struggle to do the things he does and her accomplishments are so often understated and part of her day.  She is a wonderful joy in my life that gives me so many hugs and kisses I feel loved every second of the day. She is a true blessing!  So, I just wanted to share a few sweet photos of our night together with you...

Snake Farm!!!

The kids had a blast....I didn't as much...snakes are well, not my thing, but I tried for my kids to make it fun and exciting. The place was nice enough for a fun a little field trip for the kids and I on a Monday morning.  You can't complain when you have things to do...I know I can't!!

Zach posing infront of the Lemurs...the animals from Madagascar...he was so thrilled...

Changing it up...

Just changed my blog background...let me know if it is too hard to see and read...I might change it again before the week is done...looking for something new that fits and is easy to read...

We had a crazy weekend here with car issues. For some time we have been discussing trading in the civic for an accord.  The civic is 9 1/2 years old and while it is in great shape and has only 72,000 miles on it, we don't drive it as much as we would like simply because it is small.  The back is tiny for 2 kids in car seats and there isn't any extra room.  There is also a good amount of road nose in the civic.  We wanted to wait to get settled here and we are ready. We went car shopping on Saturday.  Brandon likes the Accord a lot and I am glad since it is a great family car we can all enjoy. He will pin on Major in about a month, so we will be able to use the pay raise to justify the new car money and it is a nice treat for him.  In the past 5 years he has driven the civic without a single complaint...a car that was originally mine and has been hit twice during its first 3 years...I think he deserves this!  We put an add up on the civic on Craigslist yesterday and the first family came about 2 hours later to look at...sadly we found out that we had a cracked CV boot and needed to get that replaced.  $400 for that repair.  So we brought the civic in today to get repaired.  Now we will hopefully be able to get our asking price for it on Craigslist...and get the Accord.  Brandon I think has the one he wants and price he wants at the Honda dealership and we have a loan approved at the federal credit union we just joined...yeah!  We know that we will have to replace the 4Runner soon as well, which was not the plan.  Sadly all my driving in CA back and forth for Zach's school, therapy, etc., really added up and I have almost 82,000 miles on my car that is 6 years old.  Ugh.  We don't want to pay for the 100,000 mile service since it is almost $1000...but we also don't want two new cars at once.  I have my eye on the Honda Pilot...it has a 3rd row bench which would be super useful as Zach gets older and we want to bring a friend along places or have family in town visiting...I can't get more than 2 car seats in the back of the 4Runner.  I drove it and liked it a lot, so now we must wait on that and hope we can get that in the winter. 

So we had a busy weekend with that and also tackled the garage clean out...ugh.  Getting rid of a few more items out there and putting some things on Craigslist and some off to goodwill.  I think reality of what we use and what we have held on to for too long hit us...Brandon has a snowboard that he hasn't used in years and I have a treadmill that has been living in the garage for a long, long time!  I love it, but don't ever get to use it...I love walking Sally, so if I choose a walk, I take to the road with my pal.  So...those items are outta here!

The kids and I are off to the snake farm today...yes I said that right mom.  I dare not think about what we will see or I might not go...Zach has been asking, so I will go and try to be a super fun mom.  :)  Pictures to follow of course.  

We start more evaluations this week for Zach for ABA therapy...going to speech and a social group this week too....signing him up for soccer at the YMCA too...he is so cute and excited about it.  Still doing well with swimming and gymnastics.  I am excited to see all he is able to do here...

Happy Monday!

Corpus Christi

Last weekend we ventured to the gulf coast for a short trip...went down Saturday and came home Sunday...we went to Corpus Christi and stayed at the Navy base there...the drive was nice and easy, about 3 hours, so no worse than our drive time to San Diego when we were in CA.  The base was fine, not great, but the billeting (hotel on base) was nice and big...$68 a night, you can't beat.  The drive to the closest beach was short, less than 10 minutes and it was a nice beach...warm water, clean and people were friendly.  We had a great time, kids loved it and it was a good trip overall.  Got there a bit late on Saturday due to a late start...Zach wasn't having a good few days.  We got there around 3:30 and off to the beach after we got checked in...played until almost 6...got back to the room showered, dressed and heading to a late dinner at Texas Roadhouse...I love that place and was so excited to eat there...had been a good 4 plus years since I had their food...yum!  Kids had fun, even a balloon maker was there to entertain them.  Went back to the hotel, we were all pooped and went to bed...up early and back to the beach by 8:30...left by 11 and heading to the aquarium.  Great place, but we sadly were there super close to Erin's nap time and she was a little crabbier than normal.  Plus everyone was there since the temps were over 100 that day.  So very crowded.  All in all it was nice and we had a great time there.  I am glad we went!  Corpus isn't a great location...a bit weathered and run down, but I would totally go back again for the amount of money that we spent and the distance from home. It was good...

Here are some photos from our trip!

Erin pulling her new Dora bookbag into the hotel...she was so excited to be a big kid.  

Zach heading to join his dad and Erin...
Zach getting in the water....
Erin and her handy shovel...
smiles...
I am always happiest at the beach...
Me and my little girl...oh she is sweet!
Erin and I...
Zach and I...
Brandon and I....
At dinner with the balloon monkey...
Zach and I with his dino!
Zach being brave...
Best picture of the trip...playing together and being cute.
The proud parents...
A fun trip for all of us!