125 to Go...

Well the day I was dreading came and is almost over...sigh...
We had a nice night with the kids...Brandon snuggled with Zach and poor Zach fell asleep on him. I barely slept at all...too much on my mind. The morning came way too soon and I knew it was going to happen fast. We got up, fed the kids, got Zach dressed and ready and the van was there right on time. Brandon walked him and told him goodbye...he reminded him gently he wouldn't be there when he got home. It broke my heart. Then it was time for Brandon to get going...good bye to Erin and then me...I usually try not to cry in front of him. I am not sure why, but I always wanted to let him leave thinking I was okay and together, not a total mess of emotions...today I wept. I didn't cry, I wept. It was hard...
Poor Brandon had to rent a car, drive it to LA, get on a flight there to Sacramento, drive from there to Travis AFB and has been waiting since for his flight...so long day for him too and I am sure he has had a heavy heart too...
However...as it always happens around here...Zachary surprises the heck out of me and does so when I need it the most. Erin had an okay day, but seemed to be a bit more vocal than usual about things. Zach had an amazing day...just what I needed to remind me of how far we have come, why I stayed, what we can do if we are patient and calm and make changes that he can understand...how smart and resilient he can be if I give him the chance...It was good...
He had a good day at school and came home all smiles. I gave him some down time to watch tv and unwind and then we headed to the post office to mail Brandon a package and some ebay stuff...then the thrift store and home...he handled it well even though he had wanted to stay and watch tv. Came back and he watched some tv, ate lunch and hung out with me while Erin napped. Then before 2 I had a surprise for him. Erin came by to watch little Erin and I took him to the youth center on base for gymnastics. They have a kindertot class for 3-5 year olds. I wasn't sure how he would do or if he would like it, much less be able to follow the instructions and do the skills. He liked watching it on the Olympics, so I thought he would like it. He LOVED it. I told the coach he has Autism up front, so there was a clear idea that he had some things working against him. But I told him, my son can function in a normal preschool class with his age peers, please treat him the same as the other kids and see if he can do it. If he can't or if he has a hard time and distracts from the class, we won't come back...he did awesome. He listened, followed instructions and had a blast. We are signed up M/W for the month. Hopefully I can get help for Erin and if not she will have to tag along in her stroller.
Then we got back home and I had a message from his teacher...she wanted to discuss his IEP that was held today without me present. It was for his OT (occupational therapy). Apparently the assessment showed he didn't qualify. He tested on a 4-8 year old level on most skills except one that he tested on a 3.9 year old level....that is the one that encompasses his pencil grip and grasping of things...I don't have the paper yet, so no specific jargon. She was worried I would be upset that wouldn't give him OT since he didn't qualify, I was thrilled. That means he is only behind in one skill area and not by too much...this is huge and so exciting. Go Zach!
A friend of mine that I have known since I got here...our kids went to Brenda's together...she called to see if we wanted to get out of the house, she knows Brandon left today...I offered her to come over here and she did...I love friends like that and I am glad she came by...she is great and as always, moving next month. I know, I know...she has three boys, one is a newborn...so the kids had fun and played...Zach went up to her older boys and asked them if they wanted drinks...he then got them water in cups...so cute. He just had an awesome day.
We changed the nightly routine and now we do bike ride after dinner and no park, just backyard play time...he handled that without one single complaint...he whined about the tub, but that is normal and expected. Went off to bed with no issues...he told me he missed daddy and it reminded me again of how long 125 days really is...
I am so proud of Zachary for being so brave and tough. Today wasn't as hard as it could have been if I had time to sit around and feel sorry for myself...I got up and got busy and that was the best thing I could have done.
I do have to say that I couldn't have handled this as well without the love and support of my amazing family and friends. My parents and sister both spoke to me this AM and all day I have had an influx of emails from friends that have put a smile on my face and helped me know that even though most of you are far away, you still love me, support me and are there for me. (Any of you up for a visit to the desert, give me a call!!!!).
Thank you...
Most of all...to Brandon...I know it wasn't easy for him to leave this time. Other times he has the support of his squadron to go with him to do a job he is trained to do...this one has been a bit harder for him and I know he will miss us all terribly. He is an amazing person and I am so lucky and proud to be his wife right now...