Just saying...

I know I have touched on this topic a lot lately...but so I visit it again...friendship! It really is so simple to me...a concept that is pure, honest and basic. Friendship like a marriage, it ebbs and flows...I get that. Not all the time is our friendship perfect. We don't see one another all the time, talk daily or remember the big things we should. That is reality. I am not perfect, so therefor not one relationship I have in life is. I have flaws. I will gladly own up to them. I am rigid about some things. I have a temper. I am often late (okay closer to always). I speak my mind more than others wish...I have opinions and I am okay with sharing them and owning them. I have high expectations sometimes. I am not always as spontaneous and as able to live in the moment as I wish I was...I can be a pessimist more than an optimist. I yell. I get down on myself...I wish I had more confidence in me...I talk a lot...I can go on and on...
The point is no one is perfect. We make mistakes. We say things we shouldn't. We forget to call someone when we really should. We don't go the extra mile to do that little thing that would make someone's day as often as we should. We all screw up. While I have plenty of flaws I think I have some good points.
I am loyal to those I love. I will defend you, your choices, your life and all that you are until the end if we are friends. I am honest. While this can get me in trouble, I think it is nice that you know what you get with me. Don't ask me if you don't want to hear it. I can be a good listener and a good person to look at your life and your perspective. Somehow I can see other people's lives and issues with much greater clarity than my own...social work was a good match! I love my friends and enjoy spending time with them...I miss my friends.
I miss being around people that got me and that I felt safe and comfortable being me around. I miss knowing I could count on people. I miss having people in my life that made me a better person...people that challenged me, supported me, comforted me, made me reach out of my comfort zone, pushed me...
I miss having friends that were just that, friends.
My husband is set to leave in 3 weeks and people here are not at all how I would imagine them to be. A couple we have known for a while actually thought he was going to a stateside deployment after both had been told by us where he was going...thanks for paying attention. Another wife told me, "Well hopefully we can get together when my husband is gone on TDYs (short trips)." Thanks...wouldn't want to bother you when he is home. I have had more offers of help from my hairdresser and Zach's speech therapist then other AF wives. I really just don't understand why it is all so hard...I am hopeful, but not going to kid myself...I wish I could import my friends!
So...that is my friend rant...I try each day to be a better mom, a better wife, a better daughter, a better sister, a better friend...some days I rock! Others I am barely surviving and then there are days I should give up...but I do try...I am a work in progress.