Reunion - high school!

My first few days here didn't feel too much like I was home...I didn't grow up in the area my parents now live, but about 45 minutes away...I lived most of my life here in Clemmons, a small town outside of Winston-Salem. I got the chance last week to go to Winston and see some old friends at a make shift reunion we had and then had some extra time the next day with two of my oldest and best friends...it was great and I felt like I was me and that I was home. Nothing like real friends who know you and get you to just let you be you. I added some photos from my night out...It was great to catch up and see people again...wish more people had gone and I had gotten more photos of those that did, but so happy I had the chance to go...

My "playdate" with Emily and Leslie...we chatted while my kids and Emily's son ran around. I went to school with both of them...they graduated the year below me...I have known Emily since I was 5...she grew up in the same neighborhood as me and we always played in the summers...I always feel at home with her and her family...Leslie and I became great friends when I came back to NC after living in TN...I had a lot of classes with their grade that year and got to know her well...she is a friend that no matter how different our lives are we get each other...it is easy and comfortable to be with her and I never feel like I have to explain myself. I love her to bits. I miss them both and hope that we can see each other more often and make special trips to do that...
Emily, Leslie, Me
Another person in the grade below me...Scott...he definitely had more fun at the bar than I did.

My friend Anna and her husband Brad...

Two of my favorite people....Leslie and Mike...Mike's sister was in my class and he was in Leslie's...he was one of my best guy friends in school and I love him to bits...So glad I got to see him on this trip...

Mike and I...Such a cutie!

Leslie, Me, Carey and Aliana...Carey and Ali both were in my class and I have known them since kindergarten...Carey is a singer and Ali is a doctor...both are super sweet and amazing...

Me and Emily...

Lindsay, Leslie and I...known Lindsay since Pre-K actually...

COLD!!!!

Okay it is 20 degrees outside with windchill at 5...going to get up to 31 today and it is windy...I am freezing. So very well aware of why I headed to Arizona for college and really wouldn't have left if I didn't meet Brandon...minor guilt trip thrown in there. ;) I am just not a cold weather person. The kids were so bundled yesterday and it was like 15 degrees warmer, I am not sure I have more layers or clothes for them. Oh my. Should be nicer by Christmas and then the weekend. We haven't done too much with the weather being so cold and the kids and I getting sick. So many friends I have here aren't home or available now, so that stinks. I do have plans Saturday to see my oldest girlfriend....I have known her since I was 5. She and I grew up playing together all the time and were so close. Emily's mom lives out near the area I grew up, so I am heading there with the kids to play...she has a little boy, so we will have fun catching up with the kids and letting them have some fun. I will also get to drive by where I grew up, where I used to ride horses and see my old "stomping" grounds so to speak. It will be nice and always warms my heart a bit to really be home and see things that are close to my heart. I also will get to see one of my other old friends and one of my best friends in high school and since...I am so excited she is tagging along with us for the play date and then we are going out that night to a party with a bunch of my high school friends. I am nervous and excited to see everyone...it has been so long. I am most worried I won't recognize someone...I think that would be odd. I think it will be fun to see everyone since it has been almost 15 years with some people. Amazing to think it has been that long since I left here for school. I do miss Arizona right now though...mainly the weather. I am a sucker for that warm desert weather. Seriously it lead me there. I have always said Tucson felt like an old comfortable chair to me...just fit. I love being "home", but it really isn't the same as it was when I was younger or even when I came back here years ago...
I finished the Pact...I really loved it. I really like her writing though. Her books move very quickly for me and I always get into them super quick...I don't feel that suffering through pointless crap to get to the story, it is just on...Love it. So, I am going to start my next book tonight, the Doctor's Wife...Kelley I stole this from you...I think you read it this summer...I bought it and left it here for my Christmas trip. I then need to read my book club book too...But for now I am just going to enjoy some good books when I am cozied up at home. Hope it is warm where some of you are...Okay April, stop laughing! Maybe I will head up to visit you in the summer and I will be the only one in Alaska with a parka.
Off for now...hope everyone is having a great Christmas week...HAPPY BIRTHDAY RENEE!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Happy Birthday to my dad and my brother in law today...
And to my dear husband tomorrow...I hate that you are alone on your big day and that you are so far away....but I can't wait to get you home and with your family who misses you so much. We can't wait to see you and spend time with just you...enjoying our family. You are a wonderful man and I am so very lucky to be your wife and share two amazing children with you. I know that often times in life I am guilty of taking many things for granted and sadly even you and our time together. As much as I hate having you gone on a deployment it is a good reminder to me and dose of reality. I know how lucky I am to have you in my life and to share our life together. I love you so much and just am so ready to have you home...happy birthday!!! I might even be willing to co-share my birthday with you next month...THAT IS HUGE...you know how I love my birthday...I will of course take top billing on it, but I will share...hey if I can teach Zach and Erin to share, I can try it too. I love you Brandon.

So ready...

I am just getting so ready to have Brandon home...the days can't go by fast enough now at the end. I am ready to enjoy and do things as a family again. I love my family and I am so grateful to be with them, but I miss my husband. His birthday is Saturday...I hate he will be alone. Not the first birthday he has been deployed for, but to me it seems sad. I feel bad knowing that he is alone there with no friends. I wish he had someone to spend his day with or eat a meal...something. But we will spoil him when he gets home. :)
I am still yucky, the kids are yucky...yuck! Tried to get some gifts bought, but I have no umphf....so gift cards gallore this year for people...it happens. I am sleepy today...I know I wouldn't make it in Seattle, the cloudy weather is not good for me. :) I have to say even the few places we ran to get gift cards and such, it was sad how not busy it is out there this year...people are usually in a rush and running and doing...seemed slow and sad to me. So many good sales too!!!
Will try to write again soon...Enjoying my book the Pact...about 1/3 the way through and so far it is good...I like her books, so I am sure it will end well too...Off I go!

ho ho ho...

Well I still feel crummy...but I need to get out and get some gifts bought....I took some medicine last night and can breathe better today, but I can feel it all settling in my chest today...so I will try my best to feel better and get things done so I can start to enjoy my time here. The weather is crummy too...rainy and overcast...cold, dreary...i am not a cold weather fan. I do enjoy the change of scenery from Edwards, but I am not used to the cold and the rain, so it is an adjusment...One thing about Edwards that I like it the weather (minus the dreadful wind). I am trying to think of some fun things to do with the kids and for me, but until I feel better I am not sure what I will do. I need to take some photos and get some uploaded too. I plan to do another vacation scrapbook from this trip...I loved how the one from this summer turned out, so I will try again....started a new book...the pact, Jodi Pichoult...lots of books here to read too....love it! So upset...I was 30-50 pages from being done with Breaking Dawn...had it in the back of the 4Runner...left it there by mistake when getting out at the airport...UGH! So will try to sneak a peek in one if I can get to a bookstore...so my luck!
Off to get ready to run around with the munchkins...wish me luck with the weather, yucky cold and Christmas list...

Quick recap

I know I have been out of the blog land for a while now...busy and not feeling super motivated to write anything. Last few days in CA were busy, stressful and just had me in a crabby mood. I got bad news that a friend I was planning on seeing here had a tragic loss, her husband died unexpectedly in his sleep...they were my age. So sad and my heart aches for her and her loss. I had so much last minute to get done at home. Run Sally to the kennel in town and the vet Friday. I felt like I packed too much, then not enough...The drive was long, but both kids were awesome and I was lucky that everyone did so well. We were so lucky that Pat let us stay with her while we were in AZ for the night. I have known Pat since I was little and she is like family to me...I love her. I am glad the kids had time to play with her and see her and it was nice to have such a great night to unwind after the drive. The flight was good too, but Zach started to have some ear pains at the end. He was crying and super uncomfortable. We had a long drive back to my parent's house from the airport and all of us ready to get to bed and rest. Zach had a cold officially and just gotten worse...I went to bed last night feeling bad and feel ten times worse today...Erin has a yucky nose and is on the way to being sick too. So...that is the story here. We all feel like poop. It is rainy and overcast. Hanging out inside all day I think. My dad is in NY until Saturday so my poor mom has to put up with me and my moods...I have been less than enjoyable as of late. Zach had a bad day yesterday on a lot of levels and my patience wasn't there. So...today I am working on finding that again and reminding myself how crappy I feel is how he feels and he has the right to have an off day or two...easier said than done in the moment.
I am super tired so I will close now...Try to write more soon...

Looking back...

I went through a ton of old photos I had from college, early marriage and even some from high school and before that I had at home...cleaning out and looking for some people I had regained touch with via facebook.  Posted a ton on there and got some fun feedback from friends that were in them or knew people in them...just fun.  I posted on in particular of my kindergarten class at FCD....I hadn't thought much when posting except how cool I still know and talk to a few people in that class and how little we all were...I have a son almost that age now...crazy.

Well one comment back was that a boy in my class passed away in August...bike accident....very tragic.  He was super cute and so sweet...someone everyone loved. I remember him fondly as my first real crush...my parents used to tease me about him all the time.  Scott Bailey, or as we all knew him, Scooter.  Hard to believe his life was cut so short.

Then I got to thinking about all the people that I know right now who have lost a parent...then even scarier the friends that have lost a sibling or even children of their own. It just feel so young to realize how many people of my age have passed away...it makes me look at life and really take to heart some things. Things I should already know and remind myself of daily, but really needed that kick in the butt to see again. Every day is a gift.  We aren't given any guarantees.  You have to learn to live in the moment...love life and live to the fullest.  I struggle with this so much. I'm always doing and going and working on something...not just letting myself enjoy the day as it is or the moment.  I am striving to make this my focus...live in the now.  I refuse to let myself hear of these amazing people's lives being cut short and not taking it to heart.  I am so damn lucky to be standing here typing this blog...I have two amazing children and a great husband to boot.  I have a lot and there isn't enough time in our lives to enjoy it all...I will do my best to not waste any more time on the little things...I will live my life knowing that so many people my age didn't get another birthday, another Christmas, another chance to say I am sorry or to work on something they cared about...to kiss their kids or spouse goodnight....to thank their parents or realize a dream...I won't let that go unnoticed or forget again just how blessed I am and how much of life I still have to live, if not for me, for those who can't.

I am off to bed now with my cuties...thankful for each hug and kiss tonight and cherishing them as much as I can.

One more month...anxiety!

Well the countdown is on...One month to go until Brandon should be returning to the states.  My mom arrives Tuesday afternoon and we drive to Arizona Saturday...spend the night with her friend Pat (thank you Pat) and then fly to NC on Sunday. My dad will be at a medical meeting in NYC that week, so he will get back on the 20th (Brandon's birthday).  So...we will be busy!

I can't believe this is my last Saturday AM in my house for the next month. I don't love Edwards, but I do like my house.  It is weird to think I won't see it for a while...but I am so excited to head to NC and to see my family.  

I am getting anxious about it all...for anyone who has gone through a deployment you know the drill too well. Pre deployment is insane. Your to do list is too long to ever get done and you always forget some things that should have been done.  You get so ready to get them to leave...hurry up and go already...the sooner they leave the sooner they get home mentality kicks in. Sadly I never treasure those final days enough and end up feeling awful about it after he is gone.  Then the first few weeks go by...usually for me they are sort of easy...Brandon goes on TDY enough that I am used to him being gone, so him being gone for a week or two isn't a big deal.  But then reality sets in...something breaks, someone gets sick, etc.  We have had a pretty okay deployment I must say.  I think we have all handled it better than I had hoped and learned a ton in the process. I am constantly amazed at my kids and learning I have a lot I need to improve on within myself...but those are important lessons and I am thankful for the chance to learn them and change while I can.  I can't get these moments back and I know Brandon is sad to have missed so much. I am grateful I get to be the one here to see the kids do things. 

I am anxious for the trip across the US...the drive, flight, etc.  Always an adventure traveling with kids.  Zachary is an awesome traveler....really I can't even think of one thing that is hard about it with him except that when we have delays it upsets him...he likes to know when things happen and that is hard.  But, I planned a direct flight to try to avoid that.  Erin...well she isn't a great traveler.  Miss busy likes to get up and go and isn't at all happy being strapped in her seat for that long...so I plan to load up on snacks and hope for the best with her.  I can't win them all....one out of two crying I can handle.  My mom is flying on the plane, but not in our row, so I can always ship Erin up to her. :) 

I am excited to get back to NC for the holidays...I grew up there and always feel happy to go back...home is always in Winston/Clemmons for me, so the area my parents and sister now live isn't too familiar to me. I love being there, but I am not sure of the area as well.  I do have some friends that will be home over the holiday break and I am anxious to see them....even a party planned.  I didn't go home too much after I went to college in Arizona, so I lost touch with a lot of people...another reason I have become so into facebook...great way to reconnect.  I miss that area, the trees, friendly people, the whole atmosphere.  I will actually miss going to Arizona this year. My best friend from college won't be there, so that makes it a bit easier to know I wouldn't get to see her anyway.  I love Arizona, can't lie. It is comfortable to me and I know my way around...I will miss that this year, but happy to go to NC...just bittersweet I guess.  I love both places and have things in both that are special to me...

The end of the holidays will be crazy awaiting word of Brandon coming home...those days are always long and filled with last minute changes.  I am excited and ready to see him. Ready to get home and have things happen....we should be ready for a new assignment this year...so we hope to hear news of that in the early spring, maybe late winter...should move this summer if all goes according to the "plan".  Funny as it sounds, that makes me super anxious too.  Just moving itself is so stressful...now with two kids and not one...ugh. We want to make sure we pick a house with the best school for Zach, so I will be heading to the "new" place to scope it out for sure. If we go back to a previous place we have lived I have a bit of an easier task in that area, I know my way around...but then there is that saying, "You can really go home again." So we will see what the AF has in store for us.  I am not going to miss Edwards terribly, but to be honest...like any place we have lived...it has things I have grown found of.  I love my hair dresser Julie...she rocks! I love Zach's preschool...even though he would be graduating this year, I would have sent Erin there in an instant.  I like my new house, but miss my trees.  I have just gotten used to things and that is always a silent comfort that you gain with time spent somewhere...no matter if you like it or not, you know it.  

So...we will see what happens what this next year has in store...I am anxious to know and see.  I have a million things to add to my new years resolutions this year...patience...calmer temper....learning to leave in the moment...we will see!!!

Christmas stuff

This was on April's blog, and since she picked me as the most likely to respond...I felt I had to do it...love my April!

1. Wrapping paper or bags? Bags most always...I suck at wrapping gifts and my family always makes a point to notice and comment, oh this one must be from Susan, the wrapping gave it away. So, I try to avoid that and do bags...
2. Real or artificial tree? Artificial now, but I hope we can get a real one at some point. I think the fact we are never home at the holidays a big reason we go with our lovely fake one, but one year I want a real one...
3. When do you put of the tree? Ironically we don't have a tradition because we have had so few years decorating our own tree...two years of Brandon being deployed...our year in Enid I don't think we had a tree yet or money for one...and then I worked Christmas at the shelter both years, so we didn't do much...we will work on that.
4. When do you take the tree down? New Years at the latest. I usually am ready to get the house back in order...
5. Do you like Eggnog? Love it!!!
6. Favorite gift received as a child? Loved my lite bright. Barbie from Ireland was one I remember well...and I got a snoopy once for Christmas that means the world to me...
7. Hardest person to buy for? My whole family isn't easy, but I usually go with gift cards so I know I won't mess up and they can get what they like.
8. Easiest person to buy for? My dad...can't miss with a Barnes and Nobles gift card.
9. Do you have a nativity? Yes. I have one I got at Target that looks just like the one I had as a child...I love it.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Always cards with a letter and photo...
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I don't know...I think the year I cheated and looked at my presents and then some of them got taken back and other things in their place was not great...more that I got caught was the bad part.
12. Favorite Christmas movie? Christmas Carol
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Don't have a time line...see it, like it, buy it.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yes...I should feel bad about it, but I don't...it has been simple things like ornaments or candles...nothing from a loved one I promise!
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? My mom's food...
16. Lights on the tree? Yes...Of course!!!
17. Favorite Christmas song? I have too many! I love Silent Night, Angels we Have Heard on High, First Noel (my middle name), Christmas Bells (Brandon's favorite) Little town of Bethlehem...
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? We always travel...even the years I worked we went home right after...
19. Can you name all of Santa's Reindeer? Yes!
20. Angel on the tree top or star? Star....actually a snowman shaped as a star, I love him!
21. Open present on Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas morning.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? I love Christmas and the most annoying thing to me is that so many people miss the meaning. I try to really downplay it around the house with Zach and Erin and we talk about the holiday in regards to the tree and decorating, the music, visiting family, etc. I never have asked them what they want and so far Zach hasn't asked for anything. I have tried to not talk about that part and it just ends up a fun surprise, but not something we expect yet...we will see how long I can keep them in the dark. :)
23. Favorite ornament theme or color? My mom gave me several ornaments of mine from when I was little a few years ago...it meant so much to decorate my own tree and put them up. Of course it took me like 5 hours since I was reminiscing through the whole process. I love that I have those now to share with my children. I love snoopy, so he is featured a lot on our tree as our airplanes that Brandon has begun to get over the years from my family.
24. Favorite food for Christmas dinner? Honestly I am just thrilled to have my mom's cooking...anything. Okay no Stew or pineapple chicken, but anything else. :)
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? Brandon home, so I will get that about 2 weeks after if we are lucky...I just want to enjoy my time with my parents and sister and my children...learn to live in the moment and have more patience for things, especially myself.
26. Who is most likely to respond to this? I have no idea...
27. Who is least likely to respond? I have no idea....

Just thought this was fun...I will try to write a proper blog post later or tomorrow...off to do more Christmas cards since the kids are in bed early...it is before 8 PM...I have some items to throw on Ebay so I can get them off before I leave...stitches out in the AM...YIPPEE!!! I have some things to mail, so must get those packaged up and labeled. SO thrilled my mom is coming next week...I know she isn't feeling well and this is a lot for her to do...I do appreciate it so much more than she might realize. I am off to get my things to do list going...

Busy...

Not a ton to say tonight...well not a ton of real importance that is...I always have stuff to say.
I am busy getting things done here and there...Christmas cards...folding, stuffing, addressing....ugh. I always end up not having a ton of addresses and get so frustrated that I didn't think to ask weeks ago for them...I have no time this year to wait, so you snooze you lose. Laundry tonight...my repair man came...of course no noise while he was here and he said it was fine..and then I did a load later and the noise was there...I hate that...I don't care right now...it can be noisy and Brandon can look at it when he gets home...I give up on that one.
Just got a confirmation that my amazon return got there and they credited me 5 back...the book was over 10...they charged me a $5 restocking fee...what the heck is that? I am not happy, but not that I would have kept it...my dumb self ordered a 600 page book in spanish, so it had to go no matter what. Still stinks though.
Windy and colder today, but I know we are in for a shock in a few days...we haven't had a day below 60 in a few weeks and only about 4-5 days that were cold and yucky here all fall...Brrrrr is right around the corner and I am not lying, I am not so ready. But it will be a fun change to wear my winter clothes and get to hopefully see some wintery sights...
Lots of little things around the house to get done and work on before I leave...never feel ready to go away for this long no matter how much I prepare, I feel frazzled and unprepared. OH well....I can only do so much right and then it just is what it is.
I am feeling restless...going to go eat some cheesecake, watch General Hospital on my DVR and get to bed in about an hour...lots more to do tomorrow for me...stitches out Friday...yippee...Zach is so freaked out by my thumb, when I take my bandage off he goes and gets me bandaids and tells me to put it back on mommy...I guess stitches are creepy to a little kid...
Okay...I am really going this time...

Space shuttle!

Well, I have to say there isn't a ton about Edwards that is brag worthy...we are super close in driving distance to Disneyland, pretty close to LA beaches and reasonably close to my personal favorite San Diego. You can't knock the weather most of the time...that is when the wind isn't blowing you over...I like heat, so I am happy with a desert climate. But for the most part it isn't much to write home about, or blog about for that matter...
But...today we got a fun surprise only available here at Edwards and okay, in Florida. We got to see the space shuttle land.
Now, let me just say this up front for those of you unaware or simply have forgotten. Brandon is a test pilot and a big thing for those guys in the possibility of becoming an astronaut...not going to happen in this house just to say it like it is...not that he isn't a smart person, but I would kill him. The idea is not one we can talk about....Background...The Challenger blew up on my birthday...yes...January 28th, 1986. I was in the 3rd grade and watched with my class in the library to see the space shuttle take off, and instead disaster occured. Many years later the Columbia disaster was only a few days after my birthday in February and occurred over the state of Texas where we lived...So I am a bit nervous about the whole space shuttle stuff. I think I have reason.
Today I flicked on CNN for some news updates and non cartoon TV time...the lady announced just as I turned it on that the space shuttle was about to land at Edwards due to weather. Every other shuttle landing since we have lived here has happened while I was out of town. SO...I grabbed Zach, threw clothes on him...he was still in his pajamas at 1:30 people...and ran out the front door with him pulling up his pants. We heard the huge boom of them entering the atmosphere and I knew it was minutes away. We searched the sky and then right over our house I saw it coming in...so cool I have to say. The flight line is super close to our house. It is a great view from Zach's window actually. So we watched and cheered in the street. I didn't have my camera with me, but seriously with my bum thumb my photos aren't the best today.
Since then Zach has asked me when the space men are coming to our house to see us. He is so funny. I told them maybe then went to Domingos (local Mexican restaurant in Boron) because they were hungry. Seriously there are photos of them there and apparently it is a big hot spot for the astronauts...but he laughed and told me I was silly. Now I am craving Mexican food....
I did get my photo cards for Christmas picked up...not the best, but people I needed them done so I could address them and get them out of here...I am on a deadline. I am going to try to get a letter written so when in town Tuesday I can run off copies and have that done too...hopefully I can avoid paper cuts while folding and stuffing...ha ha ha...that was a funny joke!
Seriously my thumb is healing up okay...I head to the flight Dr tomorrow to have them take a look, and authorize my urgent care trip since apparently it isn't authorized yet. Oh Tricare and this darn base really boil my blood. We have no ER or urgent care on base, 35 minutes away, but I have to get authorization from a Dr to go....on a holiday when no one is working I had no one to ask...seriously people!!! I needed 3 stitches, I think it warranted a trip to urgent care.
I am off to start my letter I think...so many things on my to do list I tell you...busy is good though...

Not quite like I had planned...

Well Thanksgiving wasn't exactly a well executed day...Long story short I had a battle with the yam can, and it won...one trip to urgent care, 3 stitches and a tetanus shot later I came home in time for Erin to be in full meltdown and exhaustion mode and not much interest in the meal that I had prepared...oh...
So...I am now learning the value of the thumb and will promise to be more thankful for it in the future...just typing this is a pain in the butt...so I end here...a little more than a month to Brandon's return and about 2 weeks to NC...it feels like time...

Happy Thanksgiving...

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone...I hope everyone has a wonderful time and takes this opportunity to reflect on all the wonderful things we each have to be thankful for this year. I know that I often get so wrapped up in the day to day dramas and chaos that it is often so easy to forget how very fortunate I really am. I miss Brandon a lot this year, but we have spent our fair share of holidays apart, birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries (almost half of the ones in our marriage)...It is simply a day and in the end the things we have to be thankful for are all still there in our lives. We are thankful he is in a safe location and doing well. That we will be together in a little over a month. That we have two amazing, healthy, smart, sweet children. That we have family and friends that support and love us in good times and in bad. I am especially thankful today for my two beautiful children who really are my life...my husband who is my best friend and my wonderful family...mom, dad and sister Amy. I am very lucky to have such a loving and generous family. I have amazing friends and feel so very blessed.
We headed to Sears last night to try to get some family pictures done. The kids had to endure a 45 minute drive in the car all dressed up and it was an awful rainy day here...they looked so darn cute! Zach of course did great...he really is insanely easy about so many things it is unreal. He loved it. Erin was more interested in climbing in and on everything, hiding behind the props...oh man...to get her to sit down was next to impossible. So, we got a few okay ones that involved her, but not as many a I had hoped. I do envy how red and full her lips are though in the pictures...no makeup needed for her. In the end we went, it was okay and we survived with a few cute photos to boot...today off to pick up the turkey at Albertsons...another 45 minute drive to town...I know i am insane...then make two sides and have Steve and Erin over...
Happy Thanksgiving everyone...

This one is getting cropped and is pretty cute when it is done...

Okay my postings have been sporadic to be polite...I do apologize to anyone that is actually checking this regularly. ;) I wanted to throw on some photos tonight for some fun and updates...
Here is my haircut...got it cut about 2 weeks ago...Love it this way and glad that Julie (my hairdresser) and I finally were on the same page on it...shorter in the back and a fun bob...love it.
My two cuties having a moment of together time looking at books...rare that they are both being quiet and still at the same time...I treasure it.

Miss Erin and I being silly for the camera...love that goofy smile!

Zach came home with his Pilgrim hat on last Friday and he was just too cute for words....had to capture it.

Erin took this one of Erin for me when she had her a few weeks ago...she put her hair in pigtails and snapped a few shots before my Erin could tear them out...so cute!

Pigtails, thumb and boo boo...nothing is better....

So...updates...

I am still waiting for the repair person to check my washing machine...it sounds like there are rocks in it when it is on its final spin cycle...I am sure my son, who loves the washing machine a bit too much, put something in there, but none the less it needs to get checked out before it breaks something inside...waited all day and they never called or showed...so I plan to put my bitch hat on tomorrow and call.

I have a Sears Portrait session planned for Wednesday afternoon...I got a flyer in the mail and thought the prices sounded good and they offer 20% off for military members with ID...so why not. Zach's school pictures turned out so well and i would love one of the two of them for sure. So...I am hopeful we can get a good photo in of them...

Thanksgiving here with Erin and her husband and my munchkins...should be a lot of fun and nice to be around such good people that have been great to me during this time.

Zach has no school all week except for tomorrow in town...it is a long week for him and me with so much free time and nothing really to do...we are trying to stay busy though...as much as we can.

My DVD player in the car is not working, so I am off to get a new one and look for a new portable one for us too...the one Brandon bought online isn't what we had thought it would be and I am sending it back....so walmart again will be getting a nice flow of my cash tomorrow....oh fun

I got a wonderful surprise today though in the midst of my stress and breaking bonanza...I got a call from my mom and dad announcing my mom is arriving here on December 9th and will be helping me get back to NC with the kids. Oh I was so excited. She will be here for a few days before we leave and I can get some things done I need to at the last minute...shots for Sally, Sally to the kennel...clean out the fridge...last minute packing, etc. She will drive to AZ with us and stay there, fly back with us...so it will be a huge help and just a nice support for me to have with all the million and one things I worry about going wrong, I can know she will be there...THANK YOU MOM! I am pretty lucky to have parents that do what they do for me and I don't forget it.

So...I am off to get a few things cleaned up here and my to do list for tomorrow while I am in town, items to bring with us all packed up and ready to go...I am super sleepy, so I hope I can get it all done and off to bed early. :)

Unsure...

Okay...I know this sounds crazy since a mom of two small kids, husband deployed, living in the Mojave desert and far from family is actually about to complain that time has gotten away from her...How the heck is Thanksgiving next week? How is that possible??? Even worse I am super nervous and stressed about packing, driving, flying to NC for the holidays and then the holiday time itself...always trying to have fun and enjoy family and friends while avoiding drama, fights, chaos, meltdowns and hurt feelings...when I can't see some friends I feel guilty, making time for the ones I want to see and adjusting schedules to do so...keeping the kids happy and Zach on task...and praying neither one gets sick because no matter what the freaking brochure says, traveling with Tricare is not fun, easy or accessible. It is a pain in the _ _ _!!!!!
And to top that off...I have Christmas cards...lots of pretty cards I bought and no letter, no photo and not sure when I will have time to address the darn cards much less write a letter and get a photo taken...oh Lord...too much really to cram into the next three weeks. I have to get SO much done and I am just now realizing and making a list of it all. My mail? Sally needs to get shots and then off to the kennel for a month...poor dog! I have to get Zach's preschool prepaid for the time he will be gone and miss...ship Christmas presents to NC and then go buy presents when I get there...I dread the packing for the trip...temps here have been in the 70s, so I am so not even sure if the kids winter wear fits...me either for that matter...I have been pregnant and post pregnant my last two winters here. So...I am stressing a bit...this week is hard and stressful too with the holiday time off...Zach has school Tuesday in town and that is it....School in the public school system here are closed all week...his speech is cancelled because her daughter is having a baby today...so that leaves us with a lot of time and not a lot to do. I had thought of going to the zoo in Santa Barbara, but I am worried to be on the roads with all the travelers in an area I don't know at all....ugh...okay...I vented!
I think as the days grow near to the beginning of a deployment and the end of one you just start to go a bit nuts. Anticipation wins over. I have no idea of Brandon's return date, just an idea of the time line...We bought him a ticket to return from NC to AZ with us ( I am actually driving my car to AZ, staying the night with a family friend and then flying the next day to NC with the kids and Pat is taking us to the airport and keeping my car at her house for me....so long travels for me!). SO we bought him a ticket in hopes he will get back to the states in time to head to NC and at least come home with us. Keep your fingers crossed for us all. I can't think of better Christmas gift for the kids than that.
So...any thoughts on my Christmas card this year???? Would love any words of wisdom....
I am off to give the cutie pies their baths...I have let the TV parent them for a while now and I think I need to do my job! Slumber party on the agenda for the night for Zachary so we will see if it all works out for us.

Busy...

No photos tonight to post, but I hope I have some more soon to stick up here...I haven't been very good about taking them, so that is why no posts as of late.  We had a long and boring weekend...not a big surprise, but makes for crabby people by Sunday.  Friday was actually good....hung out with my friend Amy that AM and then saw her again that night...her husband was TDY, so we ended up doing a last minute pizza dinner at her house and it was fun.  She has a 5 year old boy, 2 year old boy and 4 month old daughter, so the kids all entertained one another and we got to talk and I even ate two pieces of pizza....yeah!  We got home at 7 and we had been out since 3, so it was fun and a good getaway for me and the kids from the same old routine...We ran to town for a Walmart trip. I needed some items and thought the kids would have more fun there than at the commissary, so why not.  It was an okay trip....nothing horrible happened, we just had a night where Zach and I were not seeing eye to eye.  It happens. He had a good day at school Monday and got a good report home....he had a rough Friday, so I was happy to see that his day was better.  

We have been doing the park thing at night before dinner..with the sunset at 5 now it makes it easier to go around 3:30 and stay until it gets dark...We went Monday and Zach was happy to see some kids there his size.  This is a child that used to literally cry when we would get to the park an other kids were there.  He now is so excited and tells me, I am going to tell them their names...I remind him that he is going to ask their names and he laughs...He runs over to them, "Hi, I am Zachary, what is your name?  Do you want to play with me?"  So cute.  Most nights it works out well for him.  Well these boys were obviously friends and didn't want to hang out with him too much and God bless Zach, he is persistent like a fly.  To his defense he is only doing as he has been taught and all he needed was a response and he would have let it go....A friend of his showed up, Luke (Amy's son)...I was happy, but he was friends with boys from school and soon joined them....they were running around and I thought, oh fun, they are playing tag.  I had to watch Erin like a hawk since she is known for trying to kill herself and a five year old was literally following her around...so much so she did fall and hit her face...another bruise!  Oh Erin....

So I look back to check on Zach and he is all smiles...I see Luke looking annoyed and trying to get away from him and saying, leave me alone Zachary, I don't want to play with you, you are annoying...My heart sunk. Not only did the words stink to hear, but from a friend.  Zach luckily had no idea and thought it was all good.  I asked Luke what was wrong and he told me Zach was bugging him and he wanted to play with his friends...then his mom stepped in and told him he was being unfair and mean...she reminded him to be nice to his friend Zach too or he would need to go home...Zach finally gave up chasing everyone and did his own thing for a bit and played with me and Erin too...Then Luke got sad and I asked him if he was okay...well they were now ignoring him.  So Amy pointed out that he did that to Zach and know he knew how it felt, the golden rule, etc.  It was a great moment to see it all come full circle and a lesson to be learned, but heart breaking to see Zach go through that.  It hurt to hear them call him annoying and weird...it made feel sad for him...trying so hard to fit in and do as he has been taught and end up not getting the subtle social cues at all...but in the end he came home and said he had fun with his friends and had no idea what really had happened and that was okay too.

On another note his school pictures came back and wow what a cutie....two pictures in a row he just is adorable.  If I say so myself....

Erin has been doing some cute stuff as of late...talking a ton more with real words...Moon, Night night, dog, cat, Moo, toodles, Zach, car, ball, to name a few....

She dances when the end of Mickey Mouse comes on and it is the Hot Dog dance...she smiles so big and just dances around.  She says Toodles at the right time and does the blast off and patting for Einsteins....so fun.  She is obsessed with all things Little People and carries them from room to room and even in the Tub tonight.  She makes me laugh so hard.  She is just a little ham and full of smiles, love and sweetness. Now, she is a walking tornado that mess up a room in record time and will harm herself on anything there is the house.  But, you can't not love her smile and spirit. I am a blessed mom of two awesome kids.

Less than 50 days is the new countdown....I am getting nervous about the holiday travels, but trying to not think too much about it...Just thinking of packing is enough to stress me out...

That is it for now...

just random...

Just wanted to throw on a few photos to show everyone we are still alive and well...honestly just been busy. I don't have time every day to write or post, so please no worrying when I don't for a few days...Mom this one is for you especially. I am just trying to stay busy and that is all. :)
Here are just two random photos from the last week or so...

survey...

Okay...I sent this out to several of my friends, so most of you that read this already got this in your email and a lot of you sent it back...
I thought I would post it with the correct answers and some of my favorite and creative ones from my dear friends...
Note***I always can tell by the lack of comments posted when my previous posts were too intense...so lightening it up for the crowd tonight...

Where did we meet? This one obviously changed per person it was sent to...
Take a stab at my middle name? Noel...I was impressed with the creative responses to this one....several of my friends got this right, but Kelly you were most on...my full legal name is Susan Noel Boyer Miller...couldn't let go of any of it.
Do I smoke? Used to....haven't in years. So those that think I might still, are wrong. I quit in college and didn't smoke again until we moved to Enid...Enid drove me to smoking literally....then quit in Abilene...haven't had a desire to since and that says a lot considering where i live now. :)
Color of my eyes? Blue! I will admit I was gravely disappointed in most of you...one of the few features of myself I like...Both my children have Brandon's color, Hazel, but I am BLUE.
Do I have any siblings? Yes, a sister, Amy.
What's one of my favorite things to do? This one was all over the place, but most of them all correct.
I love to scrapbook, read, walk, hang out with my family...I love to work in the yard, ebay and yes shop.
What's my favorite type of music? I love lots of music, but if I had to pick a favorite, Alternative (Dave Mathews, Pearl Jam...)
Am I shy or outgoing? This one made me laugh...some of you were definite that I was shy and others were sure I wasn't. I think I can be reserved in some situations and cautious, but I wouldn't say I am shy...no, not shy.
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules? Another all over the place one...I don't think I am more or less of who I was when I was younger. Sure I broke different rules then...but I think I have always been the kind of person to follow my heart and if that means not doing what is the "right" thing, then I am okay with that. So maybe more of a rebel.
Any special talents? I loved this one from my friend Renee, "near perfect memory for conversations that occurred LONG (in some cases years!) ago!"
Also loved this one from Kelly because it was sweet, " You have always been so giving and thoughtful. I think it is something everyone takes advantage of.
Allison said writing, so I thought that was super kind too...
I have no idea really...
I would have to say that Renee is partly right...I have very scary memory for things...I am able to listen to two conversations at the same time and I usually can remember people and places, exact clothing...I guess it is a talent to some. :)
I have been told by many friends and my sister that I give very good advice and I am a good listener...If I had a buck for every time someone told me I should do that for a living...funny thing is that is a big part of social work, listening and helping people sort out their problems....so maybe I was on the right track with my career after all...
How many children do I have? TWO...and if you don't know that stop reading my blog now.
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing that I would bring? Three of you got this one...Snoopy. I have a snoopy that I have had since i was 3, given to my by my sister and it is just my thing...I knew Emily would get it since she has known me since I was 5. Kelly was my college roommate, so she should have known that one too. Allison, you impressed me with your memory and attention to detail.

So...those were my responses and some cute comments from my friends. Those are usually fun.
I finished the first book of the Twilight series and it was very good...600 pages read in two days, so it was good. I am excited to start book two if my daughter would please go to sleep I can do that...That's all for tonight...

Kieth Olberman's comments...

Please check out the link below if you want to know what this blog will be talking about...I was very moved by this...enough to post it here and want to talk about it...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnHyy8gkNEE

Now, I know that there are several of my close, dear friends that read this blog are so done with my liberal rants and sharing of my views on some subjects...However...for those of you that really know and love me, you already know that is how I feel and see the world and love me anyway. And we as adults can agree to disagree. I know many of my friends see a lot of issues through the eyes of their church and God and I respect that far more than you might even know. I am always willing to hear those "arguments" and talk openly about topics...so this isn't to preach, but just food for thought. I see things a little differently and hope you can try to respect it and appreciate where I am coming from.
On a simple note I think what he said is sums up how I feel pretty darn close...I think all people, black, white, polka dot or techno colored deserve the same rights...I don't care if you are gay, straight, bi or undecided. I love people for who they are...I want them to be happy and have the same choices I have and I am very firm on the fact that I don't feel like I have the right to take anyone's choices away from them. I don't think it is my place to judge anyone for their choices or to condemn them. If you beleive in a God or higher power, then it is up to them to do the judging. At least that is how I feel. I don't think I should be able to make choices for you...it is just a simple basic Susan fact of how I feel. I guess I look at things from the perspective that at a different time and different place many of us now that have rights might not have them...
Unlike Mr. Olberman I don't have to look far to find a familiar face that is gay...I have a few gay friends and one in particular that matters a lot to me....someone I admire, respect and hope that one day he can do whatever he chooses with his life and not have a different set of rules than me. I don't think he is wrong to be gay or evil as some say...I think that is absurd...I know him and he is wonderful. I just think we all deserve the same shot at happiness...not too much to ask.
So...in the end I hope one day my kids grow up to live in a world that doesn't do so much judging and more accepting...I never thought I would have a child with Autism...but God sent me Zachary...all of his beauty, his spirit that is sweet, kind, loving and innocent...his intelligence and his humor...it all came in a package that I loved from day one...the day I was told he was different and there was a label put on him I didn't cry for me or anything I lost...I cried for what that label might change or take away from him...for the unknown...for the choices and chances he might never get. I have so much optimism when it comes to him and I don't doubt he will go on to lead a full and complete life one day...I do think that if God had given me something else I would learn to handle it the same....accepting and being hopeful for him to find happiness within that...if one day a child of mine told me they were gay I would hope that I wouldn't have to be sad for the things they wouldn't have and wouldn't get to enjoy....because really that is all I can think that would make me sad...I wouldn't want them to not be able to be married and have a full life.
So in Kieth's words....what is it to you? Ask yourself why it bothers you or why it doesn't...no matter what you think or feel it is food for thought...
I am off to read Twilight now...she chose to love a vampire!

Off the radar....

Okay...so I was reminded by my sister that I hadn't posted on here in quite a few days, so I thought I would do a quick one tonight. Life here has been chaotic as of the last few days. I have no fun or cute photos to post since I haven't uploaded any to my computer yet, so once I do that I can post a few pictures...

I had a rough weekend to say it mildly.  Erin bit her tongue on Friday night around 4:45...always around that time on a Friday something happens...the clinic is closed at 5 and I have a 35 minute drive to the closest ER that is insanely busy and nasty...so I wasn't happy to say the least.  Zach had a fit since I had to drag him inside with me to be able to look at her tongue and get her any help I could.  It was fun to have two screaming kids and I was myself unglued...it stopped bleeding and she seemed to respond to a Popsicle and Motrin and went to bed and slept through the night...so that was good.  The weekend was super boring.  We had high winds that were 35-40 miles an hour all day and super cold on Sunday...did shopping and haircut Saturday...Sunday Erin bit her tongue again...yes, I know....it bled way worse than before and she was really upset.  I had an appointment for her at the clinic in the AM, so I just chose to wait and see what he said...turns out they don't do anything for it so good thing I didn't drive down and waste my time.  She appears to be fine now, just shaved several years off my life in one weekend.  She has started to throw mini tantrums and hates to be told No...I think God gave me myself wrapped up this little package...I am screwed.  

Monday Zach got up and dressed and waited for his van 41...so excited and ready for school after a long and boring weekend...well no van came...this darn school system took off Monday and Tuesday and then is taking the whole week off for Thanksgiving...no wonder our kids are not well educated...they are on vacation all year.  So he was upset and had to tag along to the doctor....we hit the children's library on base after and it was good...we hadn't been in 3 years...last visit there Zach threw such a fit that I never went back...so it went well this time and we got several books and a movie.  Today he had school in town and was so happy about that.  I got some time to get a few things done and to read and relax with some yummy coffee.  I started the Twilight series after much bugging on the part of about 3 girl friends I love and think highly of....I had bought about 9 books before Brandon left, so I was happily enjoying my stack of books by the bed, but decided that I had heard so much from them about these book and now the movie buzz....I had to give in to the peer pressure and just read them too...so far halfway done and it is a very intriguing read...makes you want to keep turning the pages and reading to see what is really going on...so that I like.  I am game for a good book any day!

So tonight I am off to get the kids in bed, ebay listings done and some reading time for me.  I will try to post again soon with photos...

Ignorace...Hatred?

Okay...I wasn't going to comment on this...I really think that sometimes words give things power. So, writing about this is not to do that. As my dear friend Kelley from Texas always reminds me, this is my blog and I can say what I want in it...and I think I have. I have a pretty diverse group of friends that run the range from ultra conservative to very liberal. I have talked about politics on here and things going on in the world, but I have tried hard to not vocalize too much of my personal views, but give some subtle commentary on things that I think sometimes appear black and white and no one is looking at the gray. I have tried not to offend anyone and if I have, I apologize. This is a blog you choose to come and read, I don't make you read it. I want to open your eyes to learn more about me and what I think and feel and believe. At the end of the day let me be frank...I don't care if you agree with me or not. I love the fact that I have friends who I don't agree with at all on pretty much any topic politically, but we are friends and respect each other's ideas and our right to have them. That is my point. This is a big world...there is plenty of room for me to think what I want, you to think what you want and for us to respect one another. Simple, right?
Well I opened my email yesterday and had a ton of junk email...one email stood out that wasn't. It was from a woman whom I have never met, but has emailed me before. She lived here at Edwards for a few years and recently moved...her husband is in the Air Force. She emailed me in the spring to inform me of things I needed to know and be doing in regards to Zach...again never met the lady. Her husband read Brandon's file that said we had a child in the exceptional family member program and told her and she then felt the need to contact me. She went on about the gluten/casein free diet...Jenny McCarthy's books...not vaccinating the kids...getting a DAN doctor...moving...etc. Okay...Zach has PDD-NOS...places him on the Autism Spectrum...he is getting therapy and in school daily. He is doing well. This woman never met me or him and is just throwing things at me. I personally don't think Zach's condition was caused by a vaccine. I don't think it can be fixed by a diet or a special"doctor". But, that is my right to think that. I think the best help he can get is what he is getting. Zach is my son and I have known him from day one and spent more time with him than anyone else times 100. I have seen how Erin is very different in many areas and I have watched Zach learn skills and progress...I also vaccinated Erin this summer and she is doing great. So...I am not one to put a ton of stock in the fear tactics out there. I can't speak for other parents...this is my son, my life.
So, this woman has already not hit it off on a good note with me and I wasn't too upset to hear they moved this summer. Well I get an email Wednesday AM...a morning when I woke up so proud to be an American and just enjoying the positiveness that was being spoken...then the email.
It was hate...ignorance...just awful. She is a military wife...she is an American...she also claims to be a Christian and loves Jesus. But her email stated that we should ban together against Obama. That Christians should unite to raise money to help the Republican party get stronger...then went on to say that the Middle East was laughing at us because we voted a Muslim into office...etc, etc...I won't go into too many details...
So...here I go...
First! Even if he was a Muslim (which he isn't and has stated this numerous times)...so what? Are we that naive as a nation to not get that people in all groups, cultures, religions and races have some bad eggs. Not all Muslims are bad. Not all want to kill Americans. So lets be clear on that before we continue to condone an entire religion for the acts of a few. My dad is Jewish. A fact I am very proud of...I was raised Catholic, but I am very proud of my Jewish roots. So, can we now not have a president that isn't Christian? By the way, we have Christians in this country that aren't great people. Not just the ladies that go to church and gossip about people the entire rest of the day...that is minor. But we have people that use the words in the bible to excuse their behavior of abuse or hatred...KKK members are good church goers and I am a Southerner, so I do know how it works. I just want people to remember that hatred and racism and bigotry isn't a one sided problem. NO one group is exempt from it being in them or having it happening to them.
Second! Why can't we let the man take office and see what he does...will he rule from the left, the center, etc. We now have a Democratic House and Senate, so even if he tries to rule from the center it isn't all about him. He isn't anti Christian because he some stances that aren't Republican...I am so tired of hearing that this election...some how if you are Democratic in your views you are now a socialist, not a Christian and anti-American. When did that happen? I am a Catholic who believes in stem cell research and I am pro choice...There! I also have a gay friend that I adore and I hope one day he and his partner can have a baby and live in a happy union however they choose and enjoy life. Because at the end of the day, he is a good person and deserves to be happy. Oh...and he is a Christian too!
I am not promoting any of this or sending out mass emails and requesting action from anyone. I am simply sharing how much it can be offensive...The mud slinging that comes with the politics. The name calling...the demonizing of people and groups. I have the right to my views and you have the right to yours. I love my husband and I respect and admire his job and service to this country. I believe in God. But I have opinions too. I was offended at this woman wanted to scare people into believing what I think are hateful and cruel things. Let's say it fired me up...I nicely asked to be removed from email list and will hope that she doesn't contact me again...

WOW!

Well the long wait is over and the election results are in...and folks it wasn't a squeaker as they predicted for a while.  I cried when the news came across the screen seconds after the CA polls closed...my vote didn't count here, I voted absentee in Texas.  I watched the screen and cried.  It is a beautiful moment in history and I am glad I am able to sit here and watch it unfold. 

I don't care who you voted for or why.  I have my opinions and you have yours.  The great thing about this country is that we all the right to have those, voice those and then vote according to those.  Today this great nation made a choice about our next president based on people's desires, opinions and hopes.  No one can deny that it is a great day to see a man be elected as president that at one point couldn't have even voted in an election.  I think that is beautiful.  I was raised in the South...a state that at this exact moment, and it is late...the results still are not in.  I loved growing up in North Carolina.  I will admit though that racism and ignorance was there when I was growing up and is still there...sadly it is all over this country.  But tonight I hope we can come together as a nation and work to make changes that need to happen to get this country back on its feet and lead us in a better direction.  Both candidates wanted changes and I hope changes are on the way.  I am just so moved to see people come out in such huge numbers, with so much passion and so much conviction to support these candidates and to be a part of one of the most American things...the right to vote and be a part of the democracy.  I love it. Tonight I will go to bed and be excited about what might lie ahead and about the changes that already took place...

No matter who you voted for or wanted to win, you have to at least see that...or for my sake, try!

HALLOWEEN....

Happy Halloween...it was a great one for us...we have had some rough ones I will tell you...Zach getting super sick the first year we lived here on Halloween with one of many ear infections, high fever and a trip the Urgent Care the next day...two years ago he hated his costume and freaked out horribly about getting it put on...I had just before found out that I was SURPRISE pregnant....so talk about a night...last year was fun, but our neighborhood was being condemned at so many houses were vacant and abandoned...sad and not full of life as it had been when we walked around...so this year...it was good!
My friend Erin that takes care of little Erin came by to help me with the kids...I figured I might need a hand. Erin didn't nap well at all yesterday, so I wasn't sure if she would make it through or neighborhood and I wasn't sure how much Zach would want to do...if he was up for more and she faded, I wanted help for sure. Erin is awesome and it was great to have her with us. She loves the kids and they adore her...We are very blessed to have her in our lives right now.
Zach was so excited this year...he dressed as a Pilot and told everyone he was dressed like daddy. Brandon's best friend here came by before we left and visited us...they lived across the street from us our first few years here and he and Zach are very close...it was a nice treat to have him stop by and Zach was so excited to show off his "costume". He said, "Look Miles, I am dressed like you and Daddy...I am a pilot too!" It was great. Erin wore a cute outfit my parents got her...the top said, My magical power is being adorable. I was glad to have her in something that was easy since she was stroller bound...but that little one walked a good part of our neighborhood and went to the doors with Zach...has to do as he does.
Zach was great...he wanted to walk like the big kids and he went to the doors all by himself after the first one...I did go to the ones that were scary just in case. He said, Trick or Treat and Happy Halloween and bless his heart, always Thank You. I was beaming with pride I can't tell you...I probably cried too. It was such a change for him and he did so well. He has been growing in leaps and bounds...and I don't mean size if you can tell by the photos. He is so smart, sweet, loving, kind and amazes me every day. I am so proud of him. I can't tell you how fun it was this year to watch him and see him enjoy something instead of being scared or frustrated or even worse, not caring at all. He was awesome. I wish Brandon had been here with us, but I am glad that when he comes home he will get to see all these changes and see how much Zach has learned and done.
Here are some photos from our day....

Waiting at the first door... Walking up to the door all by himself...he was so proud of himself...

The three of us....

Erin ready to go...licking her lips in anticipation

He is ready to go...

The famous Erin that is my sanity...

My Erin...Actually allowing a bow in her hair...miracle...

I just love this photo...taken of him returning from his school (the public school in Boron)...He had a great day there and participated in the costume parade.Getting into his pumpkin carving....

My happy Girl....

Rainbow!

I had to blog about this...I know I need to get my Halloween pictures up, but first this is a must share. Yesterday AM I was up early with my beautiful sweet daughter who is always up early.I went to take the garbage out and saw this...
First let me say there was a glow outside that was unusual...we have lived here over 3 years and not once have I seen a sky like this...we had clouds around all weekend which was nice, but this morning the sky was glowing an orange color...I looked up and my jaw dropped...I really cried at the sight. There was the biggest, brightest FULL rainbow I have ever seen in my life. It spanned across the sky and was breathtaking...I wish the pictures shared it better, but it was a beautiful moment when you feel so small in this world and the beauty is just too big...Corny as it seems I feel like it is symbolic...my last year or so here has been stormy...Zach's issues have been hard, friendships challenging and now Brandon being gone. But right now I am in such a good spot with Zach...things feel like they are on the right track. I am no longer concerned with friends, but enjoying the fact that through technology I can still keep up with all the great ones I have that don't live near me, but still love me. I even see that Brandon being gone can teach us the greatness of appreciating each other more when he is home. Little lessons in life aren't too hard to find...you just have to want to see them. So this rainbow over my house was pretty awesome and perfectly timed...

That is my house in the forefront of the photo...

The house across the street...

Beautiful construction bobcat in my backyard...but pretty bright rainbow none the less...

The sunrise was too pretty not to share too....