Saturday, December 6, 2008

Looking back...

I went through a ton of old photos I had from college, early marriage and even some from high school and before that I had at home...cleaning out and looking for some people I had regained touch with via facebook.  Posted a ton on there and got some fun feedback from friends that were in them or knew people in them...just fun.  I posted on in particular of my kindergarten class at FCD....I hadn't thought much when posting except how cool I still know and talk to a few people in that class and how little we all were...I have a son almost that age now...crazy.
Well one comment back was that a boy in my class passed away in August...bike accident....very tragic.  He was super cute and so sweet...someone everyone loved. I remember him fondly as my first real crush...my parents used to tease me about him all the time.  Scott Bailey, or as we all knew him, Scooter.  Hard to believe his life was cut so short.
Then I got to thinking about all the people that I know right now who have lost a parent...then even scarier the friends that have lost a sibling or even children of their own. It just feel so young to realize how many people of my age have passed away...it makes me look at life and really take to heart some things. Things I should already know and remind myself of daily, but really needed that kick in the butt to see again. Every day is a gift.  We aren't given any guarantees.  You have to learn to live in the moment...love life and live to the fullest.  I struggle with this so much. I'm always doing and going and working on something...not just letting myself enjoy the day as it is or the moment.  I am striving to make this my focus...live in the now.  I refuse to let myself hear of these amazing people's lives being cut short and not taking it to heart.  I am so damn lucky to be standing here typing this blog...I have two amazing children and a great husband to boot.  I have a lot and there isn't enough time in our lives to enjoy it all...I will do my best to not waste any more time on the little things...I will live my life knowing that so many people my age didn't get another birthday, another Christmas, another chance to say I am sorry or to work on something they cared about...to kiss their kids or spouse goodnight....to thank their parents or realize a dream...I won't let that go unnoticed or forget again just how blessed I am and how much of life I still have to live, if not for me, for those who can't.
I am off to bed now with my cuties...thankful for each hug and kiss tonight and cherishing them as much as I can.

3 comments:

Kelley said...

Wow...that's so sad. And you're right...we have no guarantees. If I think about that too hard, I freak out a little. I need to focus too on the moment...I know how hard that is!!

Unknown said...

This touches me. I was so sad to hear about Scooter and a month or so ago the sister of a close friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer. She's only a couple years older than us and is now going through chemo. And then, of course, there's Alliana's sister earlier this year. It's all so very sad. And while I hope health and happiness to all of those around me (even tangentially), these tragedies continue to lead me NOT to take people or life for granted. I know I still do at times, but I try hard not to. Who cares if my bedroom is cluttered with clothes on the floor - I would rather take the time to send an email, make a phone call or write an old fashioned letter (of which I am quite fond). My room can wait. Loved ones and life may not.

Unknown said...

Oh, it didn't give my full name. It's Natalie (M). :)