making positive changes...

So I am trying not to obsess about my hair, all the while of course I am worried. But, I am trying to put that to good use. I have my doctor appointment next week, so I will be sure to have them cover all the necessary precautions just be safe. In the mean time I am doing what I should have been doing all along. Making time to eat good food, meals, quality food. I have had a habit for a while now of just grabbing and going or not eating at all most of the day and having a lot of non nutritious foods late in the day, evening. I know how unhealthy it is, but I was being lazy or busy, or whatever. I am a person that actually would rather eat a salad than junk food, so it is hard for me to wrap my brain around how crappie my diet has been. I don't eat as much protien or iron rich foods for sure and I wasn't taking more than vitamin E and acidopholis as suppliments. So...I know I need to work on that department. I bought vitamins at the store, Omega 3, Biotin and Prenatals...I also am looking into chemical free shampoos for later on in the venture when my hair stops falling out and grows back. For now I don't want to switch shampoos unless the doctor says too. I do know that diet and stress are probably contributors, but I also know that seeing a doctor is something I need to do to. So there is that...I am trying my hardest to get over my vanity and realize this might be a blessing in disguise...to get myself healthier and learn to take better care of me...to remind me to slow down, calm down and let some things go. And in the end I might very well end up with prettier, healthier hair than I have ever had before.

I had lunch with Zachary today at school...He had a sub today, so I was determined to go and see how he was doing. I had planned to go to the library and volunteer, but our water heater broke again this morning...I didn't get to shower until after I took Erin to school instead of before, so I wasn't going to make it to school in time to volunteer...I am fine with that...He was doing well, but to me he seems spacey. More fidgety and less in control. He aparently cried before I got there because I was 3 minutes late, seriously...his speech teacher stopped me in the hall and I was 3 minutes late. He cried in speech too about not being the line leader. So...the crying and emotions are still there, and he has been off the meds yesterday and today. His lack of focus to me is more present. I will do the no meds for the rest of the week and weekend and then call his doctor Monday and see what he thinks. I am so torn, but I also know I can't dwell on this daily, it literally is driving me crazy. The Zach today is so not the child I saw Sunday bowling and i have to say, the one today makes me sad. He just wastn't all there. We have these days...we call them not on the planet days. These are by far the hardest days for me as his mom. So people can judge all they want, I know my child. I know who he can be and what he can do and I owe it to him and our family to help him get there however I can....medication or not. So lets hope the next few days give us some clues and answers and we can make a good decision.

I am off to organize this house a bit and do some me things...Hope everyone has a lot of full buckets today!