Learning to keep it to myself...

Okay so I have been burned in the past with my honesty. Yes, it is true. I have a voice, I tend to use it and I also tend to get some backlash.  I am not trying to be a bitch.  I am not trying to stir the pot.  Really, I am not that interested in causing an argument and being in the middle of drama. I think I just tend to think, feel and then share.  I am really trying hard to not do that as much.  On here, my blog, I feel like I can share and say more, but even still, I worry.  I know that I can and probably will offend a few readers, who most of you, are friends.  People I love, respect and care about.  And if I offend and hurt you, that hurts me.
But...there are times, like right this very instant, I want to just share my thoughts.  I read a friends post on FB and then the subsequent posts by her friends and I am fuming a bit about it all. I want to say my piece and comment back, but I know that I will only cause backlash on me for taking the obviously not popular side. I am so freaking tired of people being so bold with judgement and persecution of others. That is not your job, my job or anyone's here on earth to be honest.  We can have our ideas, our opinions, but in the end we aren't responsible for other people's actions and we should not judge.
I read a bumper sticker while sitting at a light the other day and I loved it. I want a T-shirt made with the same saying on it and I want to wear it daily. "If sitting in a church makes you a Christian, then sitting in the garage makes you a car".  Love it!  Seriously, it sums up so much for me.  People are so willing to think they are holier than thou and spread that feeling, without regard to how it comes across, the other side, or even in the reality of some of their own personal choices.  No one is perfect.  Some of us are just willing to admit to that more often, freely and willingly than others.  To me, those of us that do, should be the ones getting a round of applause, not those who are casting stones.
Everyone is flawed...if we are willing to own up to our flaws, then whose right it is to the pick us apart more for that flaw?  I won't get into what set me off on this tirade because I really feel that I will lose friends who won't get where I am coming from or not like my stance.  But I am sad that people can't just shut up sometimes and keep their freaking opinions to themselves.  FB is an open forum.  Sometimes not all things need to be shared or ridiculed.  Sometimes we all need to learn what empathy is and get some.  Sometimes life isn't black and white and neither are choices.  Sometimes we can't understand until we ourselves have walked in someone's shoes.  Sometimes we all need to be better humans...

Ode to Sally...

Hard to believe that it was almost 10 years ago Sally entered our lives, our home and our hearts...ten years! She has become such a part of our life that I can't even imagine her not in it. Mainly because only 6 months into our marriage she joined our family.  Brandon worked a ton.  Over the next few years every TDY and deployment solidified our bond and her place in my heart.  I can't deny I didn't want a dog.  Not at all. I vividly remember being so mad at our friends for even entertaining the thought that we take home this poor homeless mutt...then I met her and she just became mine.  I love her...she is officially a part of our family.  She is a sweet dog.  She has been amazing with the kids and my best pal through every move, TDY and deployment.  She snuggles with me when I read in bed and always lays at the foot of the bed with whoever is sick.  She still digs, barks and confiscates any food that isn't hers to take. But, she is Sally, we wouldn't want her perfect.  I really can't imagine my life now without her in it and it breaks my heart to even think of it....so I try my hardest not to.  And I try to enjoy moments like this when I remember the first days she came home with us.  

Her first night at our house...we had a small dog pen built out behind our house...we had no fence in the condo and wanted her to be able to go outside...it was ghetto fabulous you could say.  She had an igloo doghouse (thanks Johnsons).  I was determined not to have her sleep in the house and be inside all the time. Remember I didn't want her.  Well one look out the window was all it took...It was freezing outside, literally, and all you could see was her nose poking out of the doghouse and puffs of steam from her breath.  I ran out, brought her in and told Brandon he wasn't allowed to speak or comment...he was smart enough to just let it go and not rub it in...Sally has slept inside since that night.  

I am so thankful for this crazy dog and all her ten years of happy memories in my life...here is to hoping for many, many, many more years with us. We love you Sister Sally!

How can you not love that face?

Running around...

Busy day today running around and getting things done...mostly errands I needed to do minus kids.  I wish I had stayed home and taken a long walk because it was a pretty day.  It was sunny...for the first time in about 10 days, but it was windy...really windy to be honest.   I am going to try to walk tomorrow after I drop off Erin...a quick run to the post office and then a walk before lunch with Zach at his school.  So hard to squeeze in meaningful things on Wed/Fri for me.  Erin is at school from 9-11:45.  So by the time I drop her off and then add in time to go back and get her, I have very little to work with and get things done.  Most Fridays I volunteer at Zach's school, I work in the library and then have lunch with him...I am probably going to be up there a bit more in the next few weeks helping with some other projects...

Excited that in March two authors I like to read both have new books coming out...
This and This
I love to read and there are some authors that rarely disappoint me, those are two I like and think I will be snatching up the new books...

I did some shopping today, Valentine's Day cards for the kids...something I don't enjoy since I am not a huge Valentine's Day loving person...but it is always fun to see the kids get excited about things and that seems to be something they love.  Go figure.

A lot of little projects I am trying to get done around the house...scrapbooking being the biggest thing that I am so far behind on...I just need to get focused, make time and do it!!!

I am off to get some things on ebay and read some of my book...currently reading This
So far...so good...about halfway done, interested to see where it goes now...she always throws in some big twists...

That's all for me tonight...

Gymnastics...

Erin's dance class had a time change due the small number of girls in the class...so we took that opportunity to switch to gymnastics...We had always wanted her to try both and even do both if she chooses, but for now she is still young and it is all about exploring the choices.  She is on week two and loving it.  By far the smallest in her class...it is ages 3-5 and either all the other kids are 5 or Erin is just really that tiny...She tries so hard and seems to be having a great time during her class.  So far I am happy with the switch and so is she.  Since it was MLK today we all go to go and watch her.
Here are a LOT of photos from today. :)

My fearless, sweet, determined, beautiful girl.  My Erin.  I know I brag a lot about Zach's achievements on here and I have said it before and I will say it again, it is not that Erin goes unnoticed or unloved.  She is just such an easy going child most of the time, learning new things each day, happy and full of spunk, she is just a treat.  I am so thankful every day that I was blessed to have her as my baby. She makes being a mom so much fun.  She has a temper and is a determined (stubborn) person.  But, she is such a fun child.  She goes and goes and goes...talks all the time and has so much to say.  She is very much like me, which can be a lot of fun and at moments exasperating.  But, I wouldn't have it any other way.  I am enjoying this time with her so much.  3 is really a fun age.  She is growing up a little too fast for me, but I am so thankful I have her to treasure and enjoy. God really blessed me with two amazing children!

Wooops...

So I went shopping today...there I said it and got it off my chest.  A whole 13 days into the new year and I went shopping...not just to Target, oh no, I had to go big, I went to the Outlet mall.  Now in my defense...if there is one...I didn't go after Christmas shopping this year to hit all the deals on winter wear like I did last year.  So I was feeling like I needed to restock...it is a thing with me...having things ahead of time...don't ask, it is an issue within an issue.  Anyhow...I shopped.  I will however say that I went armed with coupons.  I left several stores with nothing and left others with one or two items.  I shopped only the stores that had items I was actually there to look for...and I didn't even go near Coach, Kate or shoes.  Yes, that is progress.  But, I still shopped.  And I feel a bit bad about it...I can't undo it, just go from here with the knowledge I gain each time I catch myself making choices that maybe I could make a different one...
It is cold here as it is everywhere else, but here, we aren't used to days with 35 as the high...3 days in a row.  We aren't prepared for it with clothing or activities.  I do however like my winter wardrobe a lot, so I am secretly enjoying this...
Went to get my hair cut...2 inches...looks healthier, but still long. I am secretly enjoying the long right now...I am sure in due time I will get tired of it, but I like it and it is for me, easier than short. My hair is naturally wavy and in the back still very thick...so short means drying daily. Long means pony tails, letting it dry naturally and be wavy and lots in between.  So for now, long wins.
Brandon is working late and often right now with summer cycle assignments being done now...the entire AF must move in the summer...he is busy...we are just glad it is down the road and not in another part of the world, but miss him at dinner, bath and bedtime right now...
I am sad that even after all the talk of getting along and agreeing to disagree people are now commenting on the memorial in Tucson and how inappropriate parts of it were...Heck, I was glad they didn't throw tortillas like at graduation.   Seriously, in the end they tried, they fell short of some people's expectations of what should be done...but they tried and Tucson has always been unique unto itself, the memorial reflected that hodgepodge that is Tucson.  I think taking away anything but the good that was said there is silly and immature...nothing in life is perfect.
I am going to work on some projects around here tonight when the kids are in bed...trying to be productive and hoping it will happen. :)  Half day tomorrow, Monday off...productive is the goal!

Fun times even on yucky days...

This weekend was filled with lots of yucky...I got sick and went to the ER Saturday Am and came home to hear all about the news in Arizona...but while I was sick in bed Brandon and the kids had a very fun day...He took them to ride bikes, to Costco and the grocery store and later in the day they went out again to fun park near our local library.  So glad the weather was still nice enough for them to get out and play and that they had a fun day while I wasn't feel my best.  Here are photos of their day!

My happy place...tragedy...

This is me sitting in my happy place...on the University of Arizona campus in Tucson in 2009.  I love Tucson.  I loved it the first day I went to visit, I loved it for 4 1/2 years of living there and I love it every time I go back.  The hardest move I have made thus far in the military was the night Brandon and I drove out of Tucson. I cried until we got to Utah, no exaggeration.  Tucson was always a comfortable place where I felt at home...I felt like me.  

As most everyone knows, Saturday my happy place turned into a place of tragedy.  Unimaginable that it could happen anywhere in our country, but to me so hard to see it there. Maybe because I lived there and loved it. Maybe because my best friend from college still lives there and I know she lives within a few miles of that Safeway....she frequents it and I couldn't help but gasp at the news and pray she wasn't there.  Thankfully she had stayed home from going to that shopping center that same day, where she would have surely been drawn to meet her congresswoman, that is just who she is.  I am thankful she and her family are okay. I am so incredibly sad for those that are not.
We can argue about the motive of this terrible act. Was it political?  What the young man insane?  Are gun laws too lenient, especially in Arizona?  Does it matter?  No motive, explanation or cause will change what happened. No motive will make what happened okay or begin to explain it to me.  How one person could destroy the lives of so many with hatred.  It won't bring 6 people back to life...it won't heal the wounded...it won't take the fear from the minds of all of those who were there to witness it...it won't stop the people of Tucson from grieving...it won't stop tragedies like this from happening again even more sadly.
I am just so heartbroken that we continue to see these mass killings happen in our country...that people have access to guns that clearly shouldn't.  (I am not anti the right to bear arms, but I am pro stricter gun laws).  I am baffled that a young man was so clearly disturbed and no one around him thought to get him help, make him seek treatment if possible, but keep him from doing such harm.  How can you not know and see the signs that he was deeply troubled and dangerous?  How could he get a gun? I am sad that people in our country have gotten to a point that we sling hostile and hate filled comments and insults with no thought or consequence. I don't want to raise my children in a world like that.  Where it is okay to hate someone for their beliefs.  Why can't we teach it is okay to disagree, to respect the opinions of others? Do unto others as you would have done to you?  What kind of world are we creating for our children that they themselves are now terrorists in our own country?
I am just sad.  Sad on so many levels.  I love Tucson and this horrible act won't change that love, take away my memories or make me afraid to go back there.  It is a beautiful city with so much to offer, wonderful people and a rich culture.  But I am sad at what has happened there, because it is just a sliver of what is happening all over this country...

Resolutions ~ Goals 2011

So I looked at my resolutions from last year http://minimillermoments.blogspot.com/2010/01/new-years-goals.html, and really have mixed emotions about them.
First I can't lie, I didn't do so well on a lot of them.  My goal of continuing reading has been good.  I have read a lot of books this year and continued to read often, but not in a book club. The one I joined really didn't continue and I didn't search for a new one.
Scrapooking...I dropped the ball here. I sadly didn't make the time. I got invited to join a monthly crop with my friend Mindy and never was able to make one of the nights...I didn't take the time at home to dedicate myself to doing the pages I had needed or intended to do.  So, now I am still super far behind and sad to report my progress on that was so bad. But, the good news is, I am going to keep that as a goal this year and work toward improving.
The bible reading. I did pretty well with this.  I got off track a bit and behind, but I did oaky on this and again plan to do that this year.
Running...ha ha!  Well lets say it isn't for me. I tried, I don't like it, my body doesn't like it and it isn't for me.  Not at all.  But...I am not giving up on my health...
So this year's goals...
1. Saving money, paying off debt and reducing my shopping.
- This one is huge! I don't drink, smoke, overeat or do any gambling.  But I do shop...a lot. I love to shop.  In fact in CA I think it became an unhealthy outlet.  So, I am working hard to stop the excessive shopping.  Shop more in reason of need, use coupons and opportunities to get things on sale and to be wiser about what I buy...not so compulsive.  I have a stack ready to go the March Munchkin Mart...I sold things in the September one and did well...great way to clean out those big bulky items that don't go on ebay.  I am still ebaying and trying to save what I make.  Reducing debt...not any major debts...but paying off loans, car payments, etc.  Making this a priority and myself a bit more fiscally conservative in the 2011 year will hopefully be a life change...But I can't lie, this is going to be a hard one for me.
2. Scrapbooking...I need to just make myself take time for this. I love it and I love the final product, I just have to make the time.
3. Working out...I am not a gym going fool, a runner or a P90X person. But I love to walk.  I like Yoga and have thought about taking tennis and golf lessons.  I am accepting what I am and am not and working with that this year. I love to walk. So, making time to take a 4-5 mile walk is what I am doing in 2011...it gives me time to think, a great workout and me time.  All are bonuses. I have lost 6 lbs since Thanksgiving and hoping to lose 4 more...
4. DRINK MORE WATER. I think I am part camel. I literally can survive on little to no water.  I have some GI issues this year and really have to make this a priority for me, my health and well being.  This is sadly harder for me than I realize, but hoping it will become just normal part of my life soon and help me in the long run feel so much better.
5. Continue to eat healthy...we have been working on eating healthier around here for a while and hoping to keep that up...making dinner often and having healthy, yummy meals is a great help to me and something I want to keep working hard on this year.
6. Making special time for the kids to do things with them...together and one on one.
7. Making special time for my marriage...date nights, time together in every day life that is just about us, lunches during the week...making us a priority again. Now that the kids are older and we can go out more I want to put more focus on us and our relationship.
8. Making the most of time with friends and family. Taking the time to go to lunch with girlfriends, play dates, meet people at the pool, make a phone call to an old friend, send a letter, email, etc.  Visit people whenever we can and make that effort when we can.  We just started skyping with my parents and I can't tell you how awesome it is to see their faces...have the kids see them and be seen.  I am thrilled.
9.  Sounds silly, but I want to take care of my nails. I have had one manicure in my life when my mom made me for my wedding. I am working to keep my nails nice and hopefully nice enough to be worthy of a manicure once in a while. :)
10.  Continue my reading and reading the daily bible again this year...you know what they say, knowledge is power.
I am hoping for a great 2011...taking some time and steps to work on myself on healthier levels...continuing to work on healthy changes.  I am excited to see where this year takes us.

Quiet House...

The house feels quiet...I am so sad to have my parents gone after a trip that never seemed to really get going.  The excitement of them getting here was fabulous, then I got sick and well, I was sick.  I never really got myself back on track until they were about to leave.  Sadly so much went undone.  I miss them, the kids miss them and the house is far too quiet without them around...really even with two kids, it is amazing.  I miss talking to them and just getting to see and hug them whenever I want...A luxury for sure.

Wishing for another visit already...

Never enough time...

Even under the best circumstances, there never seems to be enough time with my parents.  The visits always seem to rushed, too fast and like there was so much undone. This trip might go down as the worst yet and mostly due to me.  I got sick on 12/24 with the lovely stomach bug...fever, chills and all the fun that followed with the stomach bug. I felt awful for several days and really had no desire to do much...I even stayed home from the day after Christmas sales and that was a first.  My mom and dad were troopers and helped so much with the kids.  They made sure they had fun, felt loved and got all they needed while i rested. I can't thank them enough for that. Being sick is never easy as a mom, but at least I knew the whole time they had my mom and dad loving them.
I feel like there was so much I had wanted to do and none of it got done.  I feel like this must be a huge let down to my parents and how disappointed they must feel...to come all this way after the month they had and basically watch me be sick.  I hate that for them.  I hate even more that tomorrow they head home and it will be weeks, maybe months, before we get to see them again...that is just too long and really breaks my heart.  My children are so blessed to have them as grandparents and I am so thankful for the relationship they have with them.  I know how much of a treasure it is.
I hope that they know how sorry I am for the lack of fun on this trip and how much I would love to undo a lot of it and make it better.  I had hoped for so much more.  I love them more than they know and never feel like I get it right when it comes time to show them...