Honesty -

I have been told that some time my posts on here are too Autism centered...not fun and upbeat and sometimes I talk too much about it on here. I can see that. I can tell with some of my posts I get much more feedback and comments when it is fun and light hearted as opposed to more personal and centered on a difficult topic. But reality is that this is my blog. I started this to keep in touch with friends and family that don't get to see my daily, weekly, monthly even yearly. I wanted to give people insight into my life as well as updates and photos. I am a pretty honest person and don't like to sugarcoat things just t0 paint a pretty picture. This is my life, this is my reality and I have to tell it like it is.

I realize it isn't always fun to read about and to hear the negative parts. Trust me it isn't always fun to live it. But with negatives come positives. With failures we get triumphs. With challenges we get rewards. I can't share only the good and leave out the bad because then the good would only be a small part of the story, our story. Zachary is a huge part of this family. Because of his circumstances we all have had to adapt and adjust and therefore it affects all of us every day. Some days we don't struggle as much, but even on those days we are still aware of the elephant in the room, we know what we have on that day is rare.

So I apologize to anyone who reads this and thinks gosh all she does is bring us down with her negative thoughts. I don't mean to. But reality is this is my life. If you don't like it, don't read it. I didn't choose this life, neither did Zach. I won't run away from it and pretend it isn't happening. I often can't put myself out there with new friends because I am terrified of scaring them off. I don't always tell people we meet here about Zachary and often the ones I do are people who don't interact with him or their kids are Erin's friends. I don't always have a sounding board to share my feelings...poor Brandon can only fill that role so much. So bear with me if you choose. Understand that choose be honest because it is what is right for me and that means there will be good and bad. We have a ton of love in this house, even on bad days. I hope everyone reading this can see that and know that I am sharing as a way to let you know me better, to capture our life for myself and to give my self a place I can be honest about how this feels. Reality is, I need that.