All good things must come to an end...

So sad for me to see this school year end for the kids. Both have really loved their teachers, made great friends and blossomed in their new environments. I couldn't be happier to see those things happen, but sad to see them end. I know Zachary understands, but Erin has no clue, so I imagine the reality of it all won't be easy for her to accept.

She had her last day of school Thursday and a small ceremony at her school. Zach's last day is Thursday with a ceremony too.

We had a movie night last night....Toy Story 2 in preparation to see Toy Story 3 when it comes out soon. Erin is obsessed with this movie right now and asks for Buzz and Woody all day long. At least it is a movie I can tolerate watching multiple times. :)

Today we went to the pool for the first big outing...it was hot and I think we all got more sun than we realized until we got home...

So here are some photos of the day for you to enjoy.

Erin waiting with the other Nursery School kids for graduation...

Getting her diploma....
With her teacher Mrs. Sherry - we will miss her so much!
With her class. I have to say she has made some good little friends in here and I love some of the moms. I look forward to getting together with some of them this summer and hope some can make it her birthday party.
Zach's first trip to the pool in 2010...this kid is a fish!
Erin doesn't take to the water quite like Zachary, but I have to say today she impressed me with her willingness to do things she wouldn't last year and never once crying to get out, if anything crying to get in at break time. God Bless them both with the goggle (or gobble as they both call them) obsession.
First ones there!
Me at movie night...
Movie night...I think it was a hit...finally!
I am not sure what we will do tomorrow, but hopefully we will have another good day. I think I got enough sun today to last me a few days, so we might skip more sun. :)

On the same note of all good things coming to an end I wanted to acknowledge a big day in my father's life. Tomorrow he will be retiring from his job. He had left work after I graduated high school due to health issues and returned to work several years ago at Chandler Hospital in AZ. I can't begin to say how much I admire my dad, really there aren't words to describe how much I adore my dad. I think he is the smartest person I know and I respect him more than I can say. He loves what he does and he is a wonderful radiologist. Being a doctor and the world of medicine is a huge part of who he is. I know it won't be easy to leave, it is a bittersweet goodbye for him. He knows it is time and he is ready, but as most people know, you are never really ready to say goodbye to something you love. So I want him to know I am thinking of him and wishing I was there to give him a big hug and say in person how much I love him.

Honesty -

I have been told that some time my posts on here are too Autism centered...not fun and upbeat and sometimes I talk too much about it on here. I can see that. I can tell with some of my posts I get much more feedback and comments when it is fun and light hearted as opposed to more personal and centered on a difficult topic. But reality is that this is my blog. I started this to keep in touch with friends and family that don't get to see my daily, weekly, monthly even yearly. I wanted to give people insight into my life as well as updates and photos. I am a pretty honest person and don't like to sugarcoat things just t0 paint a pretty picture. This is my life, this is my reality and I have to tell it like it is.

I realize it isn't always fun to read about and to hear the negative parts. Trust me it isn't always fun to live it. But with negatives come positives. With failures we get triumphs. With challenges we get rewards. I can't share only the good and leave out the bad because then the good would only be a small part of the story, our story. Zachary is a huge part of this family. Because of his circumstances we all have had to adapt and adjust and therefore it affects all of us every day. Some days we don't struggle as much, but even on those days we are still aware of the elephant in the room, we know what we have on that day is rare.

So I apologize to anyone who reads this and thinks gosh all she does is bring us down with her negative thoughts. I don't mean to. But reality is this is my life. If you don't like it, don't read it. I didn't choose this life, neither did Zach. I won't run away from it and pretend it isn't happening. I often can't put myself out there with new friends because I am terrified of scaring them off. I don't always tell people we meet here about Zachary and often the ones I do are people who don't interact with him or their kids are Erin's friends. I don't always have a sounding board to share my feelings...poor Brandon can only fill that role so much. So bear with me if you choose. Understand that choose be honest because it is what is right for me and that means there will be good and bad. We have a ton of love in this house, even on bad days. I hope everyone reading this can see that and know that I am sharing as a way to let you know me better, to capture our life for myself and to give my self a place I can be honest about how this feels. Reality is, I need that.

Smiles...

This weekend we saw a lot of smiles. I can't tell you how great it was to celebrate Zach's birthday surrounded by his friends, doing something he loves and enjoying watching him have so much fun. He really has made some nice friends this year...people that know him as Zachary, nothing more. He has done that on his own, without my help or input. It is special to see that develop...

By far his best friend and biggest fan is still his sister. The two of them fight like all siblings, but they love each other to bits too! I am so thankful for that...

We had a lazy day...well the kids did...a lot of Wii, watching DVDs and hanging out in pajamas...I cleaned, Brandon cleaned out the car...it was a good day to catch up on things...I am off to write thank you notes before bed...

Birthday Day!

Well it was a good day...I can't complain at all, things went well and we had no issues all day...that is for sure a good day. Both kids woke up in such a great mood and enjoyed having breakfast, presents and laughing. Zach was thrilled with his gifts and seemed to really enjoy them all...so I was happy to see that.

A big highlight was a call from my mom and dad singing him Happy Birthday...it is a family tradition and one he loves the most I think. He was beaming as they sung to him.
The rest of the photos are a hodgepodge from the party...

Here he is admiring his cake...
The masterpiece that was his cake...seriously it was awesome and I loved it! And it tasted great too!
Look at that smile...as a mom that is how you know you did well.
With some of the ladies...Annamarie, Macy and Brittany...
Boys from his class, Adyn and Brody...both boys are giants compared to Zachary and ironically Brody's birthday is next weekend...he will just turn 6 too!
Love this smile...oh so wonderful to see him like this!
He got some awesome presents and really sweet notes...he has made some good friends here and it showed today!
A favorite...butterfly cage from my friend Mindy's family...
All in all a fabulous day to celebrate a wonderful child that has blessed me beyond words. The best part, he had a blast! Great party, great cake, great friends, great fun. I am so glad his birthday was great for him, he deserved it!!!

Happy Birthday Zachary Jay...6 years!

It is hard to believe he is 6 today...he has changed my life in ways I never could have imagined, blessed me more than I deserve and taught me countless things I never learned in any class. I wanted this child so much, prayed, dreamed and prepared. The last 6 years of my life have been full of so much love thanks to this child and the amazing person he is. I am honestly honored to be his mom. Happy Birthday Zachary Jay! You are beautiful inside and out, from the first moment we laid eyes on you to this day!

Who says watching tv doesn't pay?

So we had quite and unexpected severe thunderstorm Monday night. I went to the Autism Support group on base and stayed late talking to some moms....got home and Brandon ran out to get something. I went upstairs to check on the kids and gather up some things in the guest room to go to the resale shop...I had seen a ton of lightening on the way home and the thunder was rolling, but it started to pour at our no where...so loud against the windows and then came the noise you always dread...the pinging noise of hail...well my car was in the driveway, Brandon was due home any second and we had a garage full of stuff...garbage cans, new outdoor furniture from Target all still in boxes, and a ton of items intended to be sold in the garage sale that never happened over the weekend. So I did my best to clear what I could so we could get the cars in...result below...

A big mess in the foyer...

Very crammed cars in garage...
A soaking wet husband that had to pull the cars in....
Luckily we get very few of these storms compared to our days in Abilene...

Other fun things...

Who says watching tv doesn't pay? Well not the Nielson people...they sent me $30 to fill out their tv diaries for a week. What a fun treat!!!

Last week with a 5 year old...

Well we had a busy weekend and now are onto another Monday. I reminded Zachary this morning this is his last Monday as a 5 year old. Why is this so much harder for me than it should be? I just can't grasp that he will be 6 and he will be in first grade next year...wow! The end of the year is upon us...last day June 4th. His birthday is this weekend, on the 22nd, his actual birthday. He chose to have a bowling theme party...so we rented some lanes at the local bowling alley and have ordered the cake...today I ordered a Mario Kart cake from this cute bakery in town. So excited and it wasn't too pricey at all, so I am thrilled. I spent close to the same price for a not custom cake at the commissary on most of his previous cakes....Right now we don't have a ton of RSVPs, but enough that he will be excited. I am excited for him...what a big day!!!

Erin had a singing program at her preschool...of course they had during Sunday service, so we had to sit thru church to see her sing, but it wasn't bad, just not our usual church and service. She did well and was thrilled to be dressed up and doing her thing in front of a crowd smiling at her. :)

She is on the far right front row next to the girl in the big goofy white hat.

We spent the rest of the day at the GM car dealer looking for my Acadia...I am pretty sold on it and now we narrowed down all the details I liked...I felt like if I was going to do this, I should get what I want, really want this time. So we are now hunting for the best price we can find in the car I want...we will see...It is a great car though and I am excited.

We had a ton of rain and crappy weather...I am heading to the kids resale store tomorrow to take in a TON of things...toddler bed, toys, you name it, I am taking it in. I am excited to clean out and have some things out of the way. But, I can't lie, it is a big huge stinking reminder that my kids are big now and don't need all the baby items I am taking in...more tears from me...

I am off to an Autism meeting on base...I am hoping to meet other moms and get some more helpful info. I also joined an autism group on meetup.com. It really helps to connect with other people going thru the same thing...

Big news...please sit! I am not pregnant if you have been reading above, you wouldn't be getting all excited...

Back in January I made new year's resolutions/goals. Well I am starting to work on my list. I am signing up tomorrow for the sewing classes in June. 4 classes for $45, so I am hoping it will be good and I can learn some things...

I also started to work on my goal of running a 5K...Lord help me. My right knee is a concern, but I am hoping to take this slow and just finish it. I hate running and especially with a bad a knee it isn't ideal. But I got on the treadmill and ran a mile the other night and felt good....so lets see....I need all the support I can get, no joke please...I am seriously trying to do something I hate to show myself I can do it and not give up. Let's hope I can without injury to self. :)

So I am off to get things done before I get Zach at school...then he is off to swim and I have my meeting...tomorrow is Bunko...I know, I am busy!

A little song...

Brandon and I both have heard this song and thought several times it makes us think of Zachary...listen to the words and you might see why...this video is about kids with Down Syndrome, but it is the message in the song...listen closely...

He is my wonder...

Natalie Merchant...Wonder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49ZyywoMSM0

Wordless Wednesday...

So I chose my sweet Sally for my wordless Wednesday post...at almost 10 she is still very much a puppy at heart and a special member of our family. We love Sally Brown!

Birthday party...

Last Saturday we went to a birthday party...it was a for a girl, Brittany who was turning nine. Brittany and Zach met through his social group offered by his speech and OT therapy place. Brittany has a sister Macy who just turned 6 and two of the nicest parents on earth.

Her mom invited us to join them and even though it was a Snow White theme party and I knew we didn't know them well, I knew we had to go. Both Brandon and I agreed that missing t-ball was fine, this party was more important.

I am so glad we did. We had a great time and so did the kids. One other family was there who had 5 kids...so 9 in total ran around, played and laughed. Her parents were so sweet and I really hope that we can spend some more time with this family...The mom is someone I really can see myself becoming good friends with...she is great, down to earth, kind, and easy to be around.

The backyard was covered in butterflies...oh how much Zachary loved that...Here are some photos of the day...Mindy made the cake by the way!!!

Mothers day weekend...

Photos from mother's day brunch....Oh I love these two children. I am so blessed, beyond words. I had a wonderful day filled with smiles, love and the best presents ever...THEM! I am thankful every day for all I have and I honestly know how truly lucky I am to be their mom...

My and my little lady....

Goofing around at the gift shop...

My partner in crime...
My little Erin...oh she has been a pill today, but still manages to be super cute...
The four of us..
My guy....
Really, can we not get one decent photo of the two of them together today...this is what I get?
Zach and I...oh I love this child...
I thought this picture was the best until I looked at Zach's face....he wanted to make a funny face...sigh...I am just not going to have a photo of both of them today...
Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers I know and I love, most of all to my own who gave me the best gift ever...unconditional love...I love you mom!

Things I wish I had written....

Here are a few links to things I wish I had written myself, but know they fit my emotions to a T on this special day...

http://www.dltk-holidays.com/mom/motherhood.htm

http://adiaryofamom.wordpress.com/2010/05/09/to-you/

Almost another week in books...

Is it Friday? The weeks are sailing by now and in a way, I hate it. It means the end of school is one week closer. The end of a lot of fun things for the kids once summer begins. As much as I love summer and I know they love the lazy days, we all miss the routine and the busy days of friends. Both kids are signed up for a thing called Joy Camp at a local Methodist Church (amazing I am Catholic and my kids both have gone to Methodist preschools). It starts June 15th-the 15th of August. I am hoping it will be a good fit for both. Zach will be in the 5 year old class because the next age group was 6-10 and I felt he wasn't ready for that as a brand new 6. We are heading to the NC beach at the end of July for a week and then some time in NC with my mom, dad, sister and her family. Hopefully I can see some NC friends then too!

This week we skipped OT and Speech since Zach wasn't 100%, it was nice honestly to not make that drive, sit in the car and wait while he did his stuff and drive back...selfish, but nice. He had T-ball Wednesday night and a game last night...he did well and even SLID into home to score a run. Yeah Zach. He should have a game tomorrow but have chosen to skip it to take him to a bday party...the young girl was in his social group and has Autism too...I think her bday party is more important right now...I say this as I just sent him to school with 18 invitations in his book bag for his party. I pray some people RSVP for it...he would be crushed if no one came and I will be scrambling asking for favors from friends here to bring their kids. I hope it works out...

He apparently was scratching his bottom yesterday in class so much the teacher sent him to the nurse, who called me, who then had to go pick him...no itching, no spots...I am sort of done with his teacher. I get the vibe from her that she thinks he is great, but also isn't all on board with his diagnosis and the demands that go along with it, like filling out his daily chart we made to see if he was participating, having meltdowns, being social etc. She basically has to just fill in a pre made survey...leave comments when appropriate, etc. I get 3 of them at once, so that is 3 weeks...not so much the helpful thing I was hoping it would be. Next ARD I will have to request it is filled out daily and left in his binder for me to check...I am nervous about who he gets next year...we can't request teachers...boo!

Going on a date with Brandon tonight...Sushi dinner and off to see the movie Date Night...excited and hope the kids do well with our sitter.

I am off now to go walk with the little one and then commissary....the exciting life we lead! Happy Weekend!!!!

Wordless Wednesday...

Super sweet kids with smiles...what is better than that on this Wednesday!

Happenings...

• Zach still has spots...not all over and as obviously itchy, but still there. I am thankful the medicine is working, but starting to worry about how he will do when we take him off of it.
• Erin had pictures last week. Her first set of pictures this year were so bad that I didn't buy one. Yes, I realize that is harsh, she is two and her first time in school. It was that bad. So, I didn't have high hopes for these. We will be buying some copies. She was pretty proud of herself and said, "Look at me, I smiled mommy." Zach even noticed, "Mom you can even buy one this time." Ah the things kids say...
• We are still on a car hunt...planning to replace the 4Runner at some point soon. I have been eyeing the Honda Pilot for months, but now I am interested in the GMC Acadia...so we are going to look this weekend some more...we will see!
• As much as I didn't love my time in Jackson TN and I don't miss the place, I have to say it is sad to see the news about the flooding there and especially in Nashville...so sad! My heart goes out to the people there...
• I am having a hard time with the end of the year school stuff coming up so fast...how the heck is it May already? I got both of the kids last newsletters from their school and Zach's final lunch menu...I can't get over the fact that Kindergarten is almost over for him. WOW. Just too fast for me. Another year of great changes and fun...so sad to see it end in many ways, but mostly that it means another chapter in their life is closing. I can't get this time back and I grasping at each moment.
• In ten years I have never gotten a ticket on base...not once. Until today. I got a parking ticket at BAMC. I was there for a doctor's appointment, so add insult to injury why don't we? I got to the overflowing lot at 9:50 for an appointment at 10:30. Drove around until 10:25 looking for a spot...circling the lot like a vulture looking for prey. It was pathetic to see people stalking elderly with canes. The parking is a nightmare there...no, it is worse, just pandemonium. I was literally considering calling and cancelling...how pathetic is that, I am right outside, but can't find a place to park to come in. So I saw some people walking from a side road...asked an airmen if he knew where to park and he told me to go and parallel park on the road where a bunch of other cars were...no joke at least 13-15 cars there. So I did...got inside right on time. Well I went back to my car an hour later only to have a nice pink ticket on it...all of the other 13 cars did too. Seriously? Best part...it read, "Not illegally parked in a no parking zone." Yeah, that won't be hard to fight since it makes a lot of sense. What a fun event. Unlike civilian world, my punishment was having to tell my sponsor (Brandon)...he laughed.

Okay...that is all from me for the night...I am off to watch GH and bed...

A spectacular case of the polka dots - by Zach

The polka dots...

So Friday I took Zach to the zoo for his kindergarten field trip. 3000 kids in the San Antonio area were there for field trips and parents a long with other people who dared go that day. The zoo was a zoo.

We did fine and Zach was good. I took him and a friend around whose mom didn't go. His friend is nice, but seriously never said thank you for one thing...the drink I bought him, tickets to see a butterfly exhibit, the food to feed the animals...nothing. Sigh...I am glad I have taught my kids to say thank you.

It was a good day and we had fun...got home and heard about Erin's fun day with her dad and she even napped on her own in her room. Brandon packed up and left for Abilene and all was fine. Zach went out to swing and Erin joined him when she got up. I looked at my little guy and noticed spots...some small red dots on his legs. By 5 PM they were larger and obviously causing him to itch. They looked more like hives or welts. I gave him benadryl before bed and had him sleep with me so I could keep an eye on him...which I did...I think I slept with one eye open. He had a low grade fever that never went about 100, so I was not sure what to think.

He woke up at 7 and I inspected him...he was worse. I tried not to freak him out, but I was there. I called the nurse line and they advised me to give him benadryl every 6-8 hours and just watch him for issues with breathing and fever, but he should be fine. I wasn't sold, but trying to trust and not freak out. Brandon and I spoke and he decided to come home after the airshow, so I knew he would be home around 7-8. Zach's spots got worse as the day went on and he was itching a lot.

Add insult to injury...The children's medicine recall. Every bottle in my stock pile, and yes, I had like 7 bottles, were on the list. So I had to get the kids to Walgreens to get more benadryl and motrin in case he got a fever. Zach went to grab Erin's shoes for me, which were upstairs...he missed the bring them to me part and threw them over the landing...as my luck would have it they fell right on her face...nice, huge, red show print. Sigh... Off to Walgreens I got with my polka dot kid and shoe print faced daughter. We were a sight.

Got home and waited for Brandon's return. My friend Rachel had looked at a photo I posted on FB and emailed me what she thought he had...When Brandon arrived home he chose to take him to BAMC. The welts were spreading to his neck and face and he was scratching non stop at his neck.

He arrived and told the doctor he had a case of the polka dots. The doctor told him it was in fact a spectacular case of erythema multiforme. A yucky skin condition that would go away, but we might never know what caused. I am choosing to blame the damn goats in the petting zoo. They are smelly, gross and ate my map. So they are being blamed and it gets me out of ever having to go in a petting zoo again. He is on Prednizone (steroid) and a stronger version on benadryl for a few days. The spots have faded a lot and he isn't itching. Thankfully he seems to be on the mend. The funny thing is he had been having 2 awful weeks of just bad behavior, out in space, etc. Then yesterday and today, he was awesome...so strange...below are photos of him I took yesterday before noon...poor kid!!!

His stomach/side -
Arm -