Rough day....

Well yesterday was a bit rough around here...Zach has had an off week in my opinion...much more out in left field and more behavioral issues than we have had to deal with in a while. Trying to narrow down the cause, but really I am not seeing much to send me in one direction for an answer. He has been yelling at me a ton, talking back, refusing to do things, not using his words well or often when he is upset and overall behaving more like the age of his sister than himself. Before church yesterday he was just a mess...got very upset with me when I was trying to simply ask what we should do for the day. We had several things on the list and it was clear we wouldn't be able to do them all, so why not just try let everyone have a say and decide that way. Well he got upset, didn't understand me apparently and began to just scream at me. Thankfully Brandon was home and jumped in, because it is tough to always be the one getting the attitude and then handing out the punishment.

We then went to church about an hour later and he swore he was going to be good, he was excited to go, etc. UGH. Erin sat in my lap the whole mass. She smiled and waved at the baby next to me. Got down when we stood up and stayed by my leg....the best she has been yet. Zach was all over the place...laying down, pulling on the kneeler...humming loudly...touching me or Erin all the time...Brandon was done and told him he needed to talk to him outside for a minute...just to remind him of how to act. He yells, "Don't Spank Me Daddy!" Oh goodness...poor Brandon turned red and I could tell he wanted to crawl in a hole. Funny thing is I am more the spanker or heavy hand if you will...They came back in and we finished mass...had plans after but decided to head home. On the way we asked Zach why he behaved that way and got a bunch of excuses, no apologies and a lot of attitude, tears and hysterics. Brandon and I have rarely been on the same page, much less chapter when it has come to parenting Zachary. That child has tested us and our marriage in a lot of ways. He is a challenge in the discipline area for sure...You never know if he gets it, if it is too much or not enough, he over reacts or under reacts...on and on. Well yesterday we didn't speak...we walked in the house and both did the same thing...it was pretty drastic, but also amazing that we both were working together so well. We went to his room and cleared out every single toy. We left only his books, but did take his prized atlas. He cried so hard and screamed at us to give it all back...then he was going to go to the store and buy more books. It was pretty awful, but necessary. We through the toys and put a big pile for goodwill and thrift...others went into a toy closet that we are going to buy a lock for this week. We told him he has to earn back his toys with good behavior. In reality some of them he doesn't even play with...I think he just likes to have them in his room. He will be getting new things soon...we hope Santa can still come by the house after this weekend...and some he had outgrown. It was time for some to go and more importantly it was time for some tough love. He needs to know having toys and getting to play with them isn't an automatic for him or for any child. Most kids have much less than him and a lot have nothing at all. That he needs to respect us...Brandon, myself and Erin all have feelings and needs too and we can't always give up for him...some times he has to do things that are for our benefit. AKA - Sacrifice. Perfect day in church for this as it was the reading on having more than you need and sharing what you have with those that have nothing. Insert the ahhhhhh music!

I ended up taking Erin to a birthday party last night that both kids had been invited to...a lady from the play group...I was struggling with this...taking her and not him was a bold move and one that did get him to think. We made it clear that Erin was going because her behavior was good and his was not. Thankfully hers was beyond good yesterday. It is like she knew. She had a blast at the party too, which was good. She has never done anything like that, going to a function without Zach. He teared up as we left and told her to have fun and when we got home asked her how the party was...she ran in and couldn't wait to tell them...I jump bouncy house, I eat cake, I play friends...she was quite proud of herself. :)

I hated yesterday and I hope he follows the steps today to earn a toy back. He had no tv last night or this AM and no computer... have been hard core...He yelled at me this morning again and I am trying to remind myself this is all for a greater good...stay the course. Easier said than done. I hope he has a good day...I hope he realizes the meaning behind what we have tried to do...

His ABA therapy evaluation is next week...couldn't have come any sooner. We will work on switching speech and OT most likely after the new year...too much going on right now.

I have a huge list of new years resolutions to work on as well and will post those up here soon as a reminder to me and maybe some of you will hold me accountable. :)

Here's to a better day and some positive changes around here!