A year ago at this time I was a nervous wreck...I am not sure I slept a wink and I was so wired the next day I am not sure I did anything but pace from the time I dropped him off until I got in the line to pick him up. I am much better this year. We had a fun day at the pool...for 4 hours we swam and played and enjoyed the end of summer. We had a good dinner, fun in the tub and then time for bed with books, cuddles and kisses...He went to sleep right away and seemed in great spirits.
As for me....I am calmer...more prepared and ready for this. I am not going to lie, I am sad to see my summer end and time with him gone. Days when he is in school seem so long. I feel like I never quite know enough about his day and I miss seeing his face as he does new things, learns and has fun. I miss being able to help him in those moments when I know he is struggling, scared or frustrated. I just simply, miss him.
I could say that my days will be less stressful and less noisy. I could rejoice in less mess and less asking for help or needing something to eat. But, I will miss it all. I really will. I love being a mom, his mom. It is a good job.
I feel ready to send him on his way, because this year I know he is ready. He knows the school, his teacher and a few friends from last year. He is excited to go back, to learn and to have fun. He seems ready to take on the challenges more than he was last year. He seems like a bigger boy in so many ways.
He picked out his own outfit. He asked for pancakes for breakfast. He chose to eat the first day in the lunch line...they are serving his favorite meal, mashed potatoes (he pronounces whipppeded) and popcorn chicken. He knows all of his numbers and where his room is. He knows the schedule. He is ready.
I read him the Kissing Hand before bed. I cried as I got to the end and the boy gives his mom a kiss...He noticed I was crying and kissed my hand too...he reminded me what I already know...all of his love is with me even when we are apart and he will come home at 3 and be my little boy.
I am ready...well as ready as I can be. I am just glad that he is ready and can help me remember how to let him go, learn and grow and he will come back to me....
1 comment:
I could not have said this better myself. I am so excited for Gillian to embark on this new journey, but the quiet and distance between us is so hard to get used to. Good luck Mama, I am sure you will both do great!
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