A little break...

Some might have noticed I have taken a bit of a break on my blog. Not really intentional, but I suppose it was a little bit. I just had a lot on my mind that I didn't want to share and didn't feel like blogging about nothing...

Long story short, I had a lot of Dr. appointments to figure out my ongoing ear issue and it was a lot to worry about, think about, etc. On top of that Zach has had some behavior struggles at school that are emotionally draining to put it mildly. I try my best to stay positive...I try to always be fair and kind when talking about my children on here and to never make anyone think I feel more love or affection for one than the other. I know that often it is hard thru the medium of facebook, blogging, email to get the real view of what someone is thinking, so I never want to give the wrong impression. I worry if I complain on here, people will assume that I think Zachary is difficult. I never want anyone, especially him to think that.

Reality is, being his mom is hard work. It is a job I am honored to have, but it is difficult, challenging and keeps me constantly on my toes with new things popping up just as I have figured out the last problem. I want to be able to share and vent on here, but I want to be clear. Sharing and venting are simply a way to give you insight, not to complain about my son or demean him. I adore Zach and Erin, but on some days they both can drive me bananas. :)

So....Zach has had some struggles and we continue to work hard to make changes, adjustments, etc. I was so proud of him yesterday when the eye of the tropical storm Hermine went right over us, he stayed on green at school and was able to focus on school. So proud of him. He missed piano tonight because his teacher was sick. He is so far enjoying his piano classes a lot and I am so happy for him. He likes his teacher, his class and seems to be doing well overall back in school.

Erin started both of her schools this week. She went to Bracken yesterday...same school they both went to this summer. She is there from 9-2, so she naps and eats lunch there. I like the school and so far she seems happy, but she did cry when I left...It was hard to see and I hated for her to feel so sad and cling to me. But she pulled through and hopefully tomorrow drop off will be less painful for her and I. Today she went to Universal City...the school I love! She walked right in and had no issues. I think the school just does things right. They bring them in the room, meaning you don't walk your child in, the teacher meets you at the door and takes them in...for Erin, that is a huge help. They then bring them out one by one at the end of the day. So great. She was all smiles going in and coming out. I know two ladies who have girls in her class, and she apparently played with both today with no prompting from me, so that is fun to hear. I think she will thrive here. I do miss her a lot when she is gone, I can't lie. She is easy and fun and I am used to her company. But, I miss Zach too. I did get a lot done and hope as the days go on I get my system down and more and more things get done and become routine on those days for me.

I joined the PTA and have my first board meeting tomorrow and my first volunteering at the library starts next week...I am trying to get involved and keep busy. I am supposed to do my first scrapbook crop this Friday night...hopefully I will get to do that. I am contemplating joining the Y...right now it isn't in the budget, so I will be happy to see temps dropping and i can do my long, long walks again. I miss those and can't do them in this crazy heat!

We survived Hermine...lots of rain and wind. I will say, the wind at Edwards still packs a bigger punch than a tropical storm eye passing over my house, seriously!

That is all for now, I need to get to bed...

Meet the teacher!

Erin's new preschool...the one you remember I got up at 4 AM and waited outside to get her a spot at...yes that one....well this place is impressive and they seem to do things above and beyond. They have meet the teacher....one on one for 15 minutes at a designated time for your child the week before school starts. Erin was so excited to meet her new teacher and looked so pretty...I think she is really going to love school this year and love this school specifically. I am pretty happy too that she gets to go to a school I am so excited about. I loved Zach's school in Palmdale and now she will be at a place I think as highly about...makes me feel good to see her doing some special things.

What teacher wouldn't love to have this face in her class?

Little Helper...

I will admit she isn't the most effective duster, but certainly the cutest...

We did a whole lot of cleaning this weekend, cleaning the house, cleaning out and still much more to do. I feel cluttered. I feel unorganized. I feel like we have too much stuff we don't use or need. So my mission as soon as the kids get back to school is to really weed thru more things and get myself feeling like things we have are useful and functional...if not, we can let them go...In the mean time, I will enjoy and savor all the moments of "help" I get out of this little rascal.

Girls Night Out...

Well it was supposed to be Bunko night, but plans changed and we chose to just do a girls night out...It was a lot of fun! After a long and somewhat stressful first week of Zach being back at school, I needed a night out with some friends. I am blessed to have found some great friends here and women that are just a lot of fun. We went to Chuy's...my favorite Mexican Food restaurant here and enjoyed Happy Hour, dinner and lots of chatting. Then on to a "bar" out in Cibolo....totally reminded me a place in Enid and that had me laughing a bit. But it was fun and we were all kid free, husband free and had time to unwind. My sweet friend Carrie drove me, so I was able to have "fun". :) I am so thankful for great friends while living in such a great location...

Me and my friend Kristine...I met her right when we moved here last summer thru meetup.com. The playgroup we both joined was awful, but we became buddies and she started the bunko group thru which I met so many fun ladies...

Karla, myself and Natalie. All in Bunko...Karla also lives in my neighborhood, her son is in the same grade as Zach at Wiederstein and our little ones will be at the same preschool. She is PTA president at Wiederstein, so I will be spending lots of time with her soon.
Carrie, Erin and Kristine...Carrie and I are friends from the neighborhood and both kids are at Wiederstien...our little ones are the same age too...she is great. Erin knows Kristine b/c thier husbands work together (Army).
Jill, me and Karla...Jill also has her oldest at Wiederstien in Zach's grade and youngest at the school Erin will be at and on the board and in my neighborhood...Again...very lucky to have found these friends!

Adjusting...

Well we are back it, the school routine in full swing. And, as I would expect, but never look forward to, we are having some adjustment issues. Getting up, getting going, lunches packed, dressed, fed and out the door on time, well it is a work in progress. He is much better than last year, so I won't complain too much on that front. Getting used to the long days back in school I think is harder on him than he knows and he isn't realizing he needs his sleep. He is fighting us on bed time...going to bed, but we find him awake in his room later...several times last night! He is starting coming down in the middle of the night, saying he can't sleep, or had a nightmare, etc. It is not fun and I am not enjoying it. I don't want to ignore him if they are true problems, but I also know my son and know he is smart and knows how to manipulate....I am torn. He is definitely showing some attitude and behaviors that I can only attribute to the new adjustments in his life. I am hopeful that we can curb them and in the mean time I am trying to breathe...

Erin is sad each day when her brother and dad leave and I know it will be a while before she gets used to this too. She starts school on September 7th, so two weeks home with me before that fun day...I am excited for her. I like both of her schools a lot. T/Th she will be gone 9-2 in the same school she and Zach attended this summer...I think it will be a good fit for her and for me...allotting me some time to get things done I need to do and want to do. On Wed/Fri she will be at a fabulous school from 9-12 that is an accredited preschool...I spent 3 hours there yesterday cleaning the school with a bunch of the moms....how awesome that they do that for the kids and school. Cleaning the grounds, classrooms, toys, etc. She played in the room with all the other kiddos and did great. So excited to see her adapting well to new things, people and places...so much different from a year ago it is almost like night and day. I love this school and have high hopes for her there. Monday she will do dance and have time to hang out with me. :)

I agreed to be on the PTC (PTA) board at Zach's school. I heard that if you do that you can request their teacher for the next year...I like the sound of that. Plus Erin will be there next year in their preschool program and it helps me have my face there and an eye on Zach. I am definitely trying to do more, be involved and try new things.

Zach has his second night of piano tonight...he had speech/OT last night. Sadly his ABA therapist only comes once in the school year...she comes tonight, so today is jammed packed and I have already asked them to move this therapy time to another night...ugh!

I am off to the dermatologist...lots of appointments for me the next 2 weeks and hoping for some answers to things...fingers crossed.

Half way thru this long week of busy busy busy...

Ballerina Erin!

Today was a big first day for Erin too...her first day of dance class. I signed her up for what they call Pre-Dance. Basic Ballet stuff and ages 3-5. She was the youngest in the room, all of the other girls were 4 and one was 3.5. She seemed to keep up fine and had a good time. She was super excited to go and didn't even hesitate to head into the room with the teacher and other girls. I was so proud of that part she could have stood there and not moved, and I would have been proud. She has grown up so much in this last year and today really showed me a lot of that in her. She seemed to be excited to be doing an outing alone with me and I have to admit, I had fun being alone with her. She is a fun, sweet, loving child and we had a fun!

She looked adorable in her outfit...If I do say so myself. Lets hope the interest in this continues and she enjoys it as much next time as she did today.

And he is off....

So here we go...the first day of FIRST Grade has begun and he is off...I am so excited for him and hopeful that this will be an amazing year. He seemed excited and ready. I faked it really well today for him. :) He picked out his own super cute outfit and was ready to go right on time. I love this special boy. He has amazed me time and time again and i know he will do it about a million more...Even today, he wanted to be dropped off in the back, not walked in, because he knew what to do and where to go. I can't wait to see him at 3 and hear all about his day.

The 3 of us...
Hello First grade...

The Night Before First Grade...

Twas the night before First Grade and all through this house is a bit more confidence and a lot less chaos...

A year ago at this time I was a nervous wreck...I am not sure I slept a wink and I was so wired the next day I am not sure I did anything but pace from the time I dropped him off until I got in the line to pick him up. I am much better this year. We had a fun day at the pool...for 4 hours we swam and played and enjoyed the end of summer. We had a good dinner, fun in the tub and then time for bed with books, cuddles and kisses...He went to sleep right away and seemed in great spirits.

As for me....I am calmer...more prepared and ready for this. I am not going to lie, I am sad to see my summer end and time with him gone. Days when he is in school seem so long. I feel like I never quite know enough about his day and I miss seeing his face as he does new things, learns and has fun. I miss being able to help him in those moments when I know he is struggling, scared or frustrated. I just simply, miss him.

I could say that my days will be less stressful and less noisy. I could rejoice in less mess and less asking for help or needing something to eat. But, I will miss it all. I really will. I love being a mom, his mom. It is a good job.

I feel ready to send him on his way, because this year I know he is ready. He knows the school, his teacher and a few friends from last year. He is excited to go back, to learn and to have fun. He seems ready to take on the challenges more than he was last year. He seems like a bigger boy in so many ways.

He picked out his own outfit. He asked for pancakes for breakfast. He chose to eat the first day in the lunch line...they are serving his favorite meal, mashed potatoes (he pronounces whipppeded) and popcorn chicken. He knows all of his numbers and where his room is. He knows the schedule. He is ready.

I read him the Kissing Hand before bed. I cried as I got to the end and the boy gives his mom a kiss...He noticed I was crying and kissed my hand too...he reminded me what I already know...all of his love is with me even when we are apart and he will come home at 3 and be my little boy.

I am ready...well as ready as I can be. I am just glad that he is ready and can help me remember how to let him go, learn and grow and he will come back to me....

Meet the Teacher...

We were fortunate enough this year to get to have our ARD before school started this year. (It is an IEP for all states minus TX - Individualized Education Plan for kids with special needs).

We were thankful for the opportunity to meet his 1st grade teacher, have his kinder teacher there and all other members of the committee that work with him, speech, OT, special Ed, etc. It was nice to brainstorm some ideas, get ideas about how things will be different or the same for him, let her have some insight into his needs and us to get some into her expectations. We had been told back in June that his teacher would be someone...so we spent all summer working on talking about her...then we get into the meeting and it is a different teacher...yikes!

Turned out that it was a good switch. It was the teacher he had wanted all along and as soon as I told him that there was a change he said, "Oh Yeah, I wanted her to me teacher!". So that worked out well. She seems to have a ton of experience in teaching...she has taught kids on the spectrum, gifted and talented and seems to have a great sense of where kids are academically and teaching to that level. Basically I like her. I think, I hope it will be a good fit. We got some good things we wanted, like a daily communication log...OT consult since he doesn't receive education based services in OT.

We all headed to meet the teacher last night. He has 3 friends from his class last year in his new class...yeah! He was very excited about that. Overall I think he will do well...1st grade looked fun and he is 2 doors down from his kindergarten teacher, so he will get to see and smile at her. He explored the room asked questions and seemed over the moon.

I wish I was as ready. I am so sad to see the summer end. To see him getting bigger and now heading into first grade...it seems like he was just going to preschool. I am thrilled he loves school so much and I hope this is a fantastic year. But...I would love to keep him home with me more and have shorter days...just more Zach time. He is a great child.

So fingers crossed that this will be a good year for him and this is a good fit. Most of all I hope that the smile he had last night lasts all year and he has many more good days than bad...his year is fun, happy and filled with new things. All the best for my wonderful boy.

Off to first grade Monday....

Batter Up!

Playing with his baseball pitching toy...love that he enjoys baseball so much and hoping it continues...so fun to see him play and and get excited about something like this. He starts Piano this Wednesday...so excited to see if this is a good fit for him. Soccer wasn't last fall, so we are switching gears and aiming for something new. He has always loved music and we feel like this will be a great outlet for him. Fingers crossed we are right and he loves it. :)