A few steps back...

Well the past few weeks here have been a bit rough. We have taken some steps back in all the progress we made with Zach and seeing some definite regression in areas that we had tackled last year. It is painful to watch. Frustrating to try to fix the problems again and difficult to try to go back and know what and how we can change things.

I find myself having to spend a lot of one on one time with him again working on things and that then means Erin is often in front of the TV or being told no. Engaging him with her present is often hard. I have brought back out the schedule. The reward chart and chore charts are back and today we started to discuss his circle of friends...the idea to get him to understand people we can hug, be affectionate with, etc. I spent quite a while on that today and made a chart...will continue to work on that since it is an area that concerns me with him being in school. Basically if you are nice to Zach, he will hug you and within a day tell you he loves you. I know I am a big hugger, but he is a bit overboard on it. It is scary because he isn't aware that there are boundaries for other people, himself and levels of being close to people. I hope this is something he catches on to quickly. We also had the stranger discussion...again another thing I hope he really gets.

We had had a lot of meltdowns lately...me and him to be honest. I have a hard time not taking it personally and getting down on myself when I see him fall back and struggle. I know he is capable of so much more. He is very obsessed with maps, road systems and the GPS. He literally can memorize a city in days. It is scary. He asks everyone for their address. It is something he thinks about all day. I offer him time to play or do his GPS (basically his self stim), but recently he is just not as able to let it go. He had a play date the other day with Avery...his mom and I knew each other in Abilene...sweet boy and a child I would love to have Zach be friends with. However you can't make people be friends. I think Zach showed that he was sweet and polite, but not a good fit and I am sad to say I don't think they will hang out again like that. I hate that, but it is a fact we are realizing. He isn't a child that plays well with others, he has obsessions and interests that are not normal for most kids his age. I can't make him like toys they like, but I wish I could...

He went to a group speech, social group, on Wednesday night. I think he will do well with this...should do that once a month I think with two boys who have the same diagnosis as him. He also did one on one speech and seems to like the therapist. He had his ABA evaluation today and they will call Monday to set up the therapies for that...not sure how much they will recommend based on what they saw today, but we know that we might have to adjust his school day to make room for these things. We have him in swimming and plan to continue that year round at that school...he loves it and it is a great skill he needs. He also was signed up for youth soccer. I hope he enjoys that too. I want to have him do more outside of school than therapies...I think he needs that interaction, physical stimulus and keeping himself busy. I thought when we left CA that we would be able to put him in regular Kindergarten with little therapies and let him do a sport or activity out of school and that would be it...but the summer has proven to be a bit rougher than I had planned.

So...with a week to school I am scared. I am not sure how he will handle the routine, the schedule of school, the other children, the new teacher, etc. How he will handle 8-3. What he will do in moments of being overwhelmed and scared. I am just so nervous for him. At least I have his bed time closer to the right time...7:45 tonight, the goal is 7 by the night of school. :) Erin is back to 8:15...so we are doing much better on that.

I know that all children regress in the summer...I get that...but after what we have done with him and the progress we saw it is sad to see how much he has gone back. I pray that a few weeks in school and therapy will be enough to help get him back on track.

Today I chose some water coloring for us to do while he and Erin were at home with me....I didn't want any big outings before his evaluation at 1...so they had fun and he did a great job. He drew a picture and wrote a note with me to his old teacher to send her. He tried and for that I was thankful. Erin...well she liked swirling the paintbrush in the water a lot. :)

Here is his masterpiece...

Love the concentration....

Notice she is on the mat not the paper...oh well.
Hopefully the weekend will be fun for all of us...I just want to enjoy him as much as I can before school starts.