Summer time...

Sorry...no pictures tonight...I know, most of you check in for photos, but I just haven't been good about taking them the past two weeks...
I am happy to say that we are staying very busy this summer and I am glad I made some changes in my plans for the summer...opting to be more "free" with our plans.  It was a hard transition on week one for Zachary, I can't lie. He basically imploded.  I had taken down the daily schedule and since we had no set day to day plan, just had the big family month calendar up for him to view.  Our days are all different.  Monday he has Occupational therapy for an hour at 1, then ABA at home from 4-6.  Tuesday (year round) Speech and OT from 4-5...Thursday at 4:30 we have piano.  Add in some fun play dates at the pool, the Y, birthday parties...we were busy.  But I didn't stop and think about his needs as much as I usually would have.  I think I got complacent.  We are in a "good" spot with him in many ways...so I was not expecting the worst as I used to do on a daily basis.
Well, the poor guy needed more.  We went to the Y a lot of AMs in a row, for me to work out and let them play.  His play area is not as structured or adult supervised and therefor a hard place for him to stay for a while and still be focused when we are done. I can't stop my Y time, it is a big part of life for me now and I love it/need it...but he needs stuff too.
So the next day, after massive implosion of my son...we started using a dry erase board...a small 8 x10 one, and writing that days schedule on it...we are careful to leave quiet/nap time in there and time to flex a plan if we need to, but for the most part, we make the schedule and try to stick to it.  It helped a lot.  This week they are at VBS at our church....we love our church, so it is nice to send them there for their first VBS experience.  So far, day one, so good.
We have had some fun pool play dates with a few friends so far...it is nice to have the chance this summer to do that and enjoy our friends, the pool and summer vacation to the fullest.  I can't believe how much I am enjoying it.
Erin will be 4 this weekend, I am not sure how I feel. Part of me is sad that she is getting to be such a big girl and my baby is growing up. She is a sweet, sensitive soul, full of smiles, imagination, silliness and energy. She changed our lives and has been a blessing like no other.  We are so thankful for her every day, even days she tags her room gangster style with a ball point pen and almost makes me ebay her.  Even then.  I will always say, Zach is my purpose and she is my gift. I will forever feel like this and be grateful for these two amazing kids.
I had an AH HA moment today while at Zach's therapy. I had two moms in there with me that were newer to the therapy, diagnosed kid on the spectrum world. I was the wiser mom that had been there, done that and had a kid doing really well.  It was odd to me to be that lady, but as I was talking I realized, we have been at this for more than half his life now.  At 3 he got the diagnosis...two weeks out from Erin's scheduled c-section we went to UCLA for the painful, gut wrenching, I never talked about, evaluation.  We were told to do, A, B and C and come back in 6 months.  In the mean time we took him to get another evaluation...awful place and horrible person that made me feel so hopeless....then the school on base did an evaluation...the full monty to test for autism.  I was ready to know, I thought. I sat in the IEP, with baby Erin in my arms and was told he tested on the Autism spectrum...You think you can prepare yourself for those moments.  But, you can't.  It hurt.  As I looked down at my new baby in my arms and thought about my other baby who was off at a friends house, I honestly thought, how will I do this.  Will we have a "normal" life.  Will he be okay.  Will he date, be married, have a good life.  Then I got to bussiness.  I figured out no one there was going to give me shit.  15 minutes of speech twice a week was what I got.  So I read book after book.  Found a speech therapist in town that rocked and got Tricare to approve it. Drove him 45 minutes each way to a private preschool to let him be around his peers and then the other three days be at his PPCD program on base for special ed.  We got more evaluations and tried to do a lot at home...floor time, flash cards, breaking habits, setting limits...it was hard.  But, as I have said with the AF life of moving and deployments...it isn't a can do attitude, it is a have to do one.  He is my baby, therefor I just have to suck it up and do it.
After talking to two moms today I realized what a different place I am in that I was 4 years ago.  I also realized I might never have been in their place. I welcomed the diagnosis.  I longed for the help in learning how to understand him, get him to enjoy his life to the fullest and be all that I knew he could be. I felt strange today being the wise mom that I had been there, done that.  That isn't me. But in fact, it might be in some ways.  We have been at this a while.  Erin knows nothing else than this life...Zach I am sure doesn't either.  We adapted to this life and it is know what we know and I wouldn't change it if I could.  I am so proud of him.  All he has accomplished, achieved and learned.  The person he is. He has grown so much in the past 4 years. Leaps and Bounds!!!  I wouldn't change him if I could.  He has made me a better mom, a better person and changed my life in ways I can't articulate.
No he isn't cured. We aren't out of the woods.  We still have a long road ahead with changes and bumps I am sure.  He will have Autsim for the rest of his life.  But he copes with it daily and is thriving in so many ways.  We as a family are.  Four years...amazing how much your life can change in such a short time and how looking back you can't imagine living it any other way.

Zach's Birthday!

It is really hard to believe he is 7.  I see the changes, the growth, the progress each day...I know how hard he has worked over the past few years and how much he has really grown up in so many ways.  It doesn't go unnoticed by me, not for a minute.  But, as wonderful as it all is, it is hard to see my baby growing up too.  

He had a fantastic birthday and for that I am thrilled...he has been so excited, for months, about turning 7.  I promised him if he learned to tie his shoes he could have a laser tag birthday party. I think bribery is awesome...he can tie his shoes.  He had a great party and a lot of people came...almost everyone he invited came and most of all the kids he really cares about and likes came...that was the best part.  Some you know are there just because it is a party, but some, they come for the child and we knew who those were.  

He had a big day...his exact words as I walked into his class holding cupcakes, "This is the best day ever mom". He had lost his first tooth at lunch the Friday (the 20th), before his birthday.  He was the last child in his class to lose a tooth, he was over the moon.  He bit into an apple at lunch and I guess it became super loose and a teacher helped pull it.  He was grinning ear to ear...photos below.  

We took him out to Texas Roadhouse for dinner per his request...he loves their steak bites. My horrible eater is now a picker eater, but a good eater...if he likes it, watch out.  He got to ride the saddle while he was sung happy birthday...Photo below also...he had a blast!!!!  

Brandon and I talked a lot about our special boy...we laughed and joked and I cried too.  It is amazing to me how far he has come, especially the last 3-4 years.  He is a remarkable little boy.  I won't say we haven't been challenged, but we have been given so much more in return.  He is really a joy in every sense of the word.  He is full of light, smiles and love. He is so excited to do things and always giving huge hugs.  He is my buddy and a good person.  I am thankful every day for the gift of him in my life. More than anything else in my life, he has given me a purpose and brought more joy to my life than I had thought possible.  I am forever thankful that I was given the honor to be his mom.  I hope he always knows how much he is loved and how thankful I am for him. 

Here is the fabulous birthday in photos!!!

Me and the birthday boy!

     Lucky me with both my babies...

 The boys

 He had a blast!

 Showing off his tooth.

 Yes, he was super excited!

 Having his class sing to him...

 Mrs. Sides First grade...

 He loved his huge # 7 balloon...

 Not the cake I ordered, but the one we got...still cute and tasted good.

 At laser legend.

 Making a big wish!

 Atta boy!

 You did it.

 You are 7...hope this year is all you dreamed and more!

Just need to say it...

Getting older really is starting to be something I think about...I NEVER thought I would be saying this at 34.  I am the person that only 3 years ago in California got ID'd on my birthday dinner with my husband, ordering wine.  I usually have people say, "No way." when I tell them my age, most assuming I am still in my twenties.  So why I am having a crisis now?
Reality check.  I am not 20 anymore.  My body for sure isn't.  I have been so good for the last few months going to the gym...joining a gym was awesome enough, but I went to it.  I have been eating well (I am a decent eater as it is).  But still I am 8 lbs more than I was when we moved here two years ago and more than I want to be.  I am stuck.  I gave up soda this week....for the 100th time in my life, but hey, I am all about try, try, try again.
I am so done with doing all this work and seeing no results that I told Brandon it was time for him to deploy...nothing drops the pounds like the deployment diet.  I would take up smoking again, except for the fact that most ex smokers learn to hate smoking and the smell of it...I think it is how you convince yourself to stop...so that road is closed.  I would love to find the metabolism fairy that came in the night one birthday and stole my friend.  I had good metabolism....that bitch gave me no warning and now I am here, in the land of I want to lose 5-10 pounds that most women dwell in once they get to be a certain again...it is not the land I had signed up for or thought I would arrive at right now.  Yes, I am bitter.  But, I am continuing to suffer and try to lose this darn jiggle and pudge.  I do however wish all seats were either higher up or cushioned so the day after body pump wasn't so painful for me.
Several friends here are going to the gym with me and have more to lose than me...I know they think I am whining and being silly, but really I refuse to go up a size in clothes, I refuse to feel yucky.  One friend even started those HCG shots...she lost 22 pounds and was only 8 pounds heavier than me when she started...if they didn't sounds scary and not FDA approved, I would say sign me up.
So now, I get ready to head back to the gym, suffer some more and hope for the best.  Is this what being in your 30's means. Constantly looking in the mirror and finding new things to work on...Well I refuse to take this sitting down...basically because I can't today after being tortured in body pump yesterday...I will keep fighting and hoping one day I will see results or my metabolism again. If you see me and I am hunched over eating motrin don't be shocked. :)

Mother's Day 2011

We had a nice mother's day this year....nothing fancy, but very nice.  We headed to church in the morning. I actually teared up because the sermon was really great. After, I went and got a pedicure and did some errands.  Ironically I did most of the kids birthday shopping. Then we had a wonderful brunch at the O'Club on base.  It was nice and I felt so blessed to have a great family on such a special day.  Many people dream of growing up to have a certain job, but I always knew I wanted to be a mom.  I am so glad my dreams came true and I have two awesome children who I adore.  I couldn't have asked for more and not one day goes by that I don't know how blessed I am.  I am very thankful!

Best Buddies

I can't lie, I am pretty lucky that Zach and Erin love each other so much. It has really always been this way...even when they fight and bicker, all siblings do that, they still get along better than I could have hoped.  Most days they fight because someone took a toy, or broke a toy or is using a toy...you get the idea.  But when they are left to play alone and given free reign to do what they want, I often find things like this...

Zach busy building a lego creation after church last weekend and Erin lined up all of her stuffed animals to be his audience. Sweet moments...moments I really treasure.  I know that in our life, with moves in our future that will be more frequent, this friendship is so important.  I am thankful for it every day.  

Easter 2011

We had a great Easter...the kids both ahd a lot of fun doing the annual egg hunt and enjoyed Brunch at the O' Club on base.  We all enjoyed service at church last night and are thankful for our blessings.

Photos...

Family photo before church last night...hating my dress choice because the flowers make me look huge...but oh well...

 Easter hunt this AM.

 Egg hunt photos...

 Brunch this AM at the O' Club...me and my guy...

Happy Easter!!!

Bucket List...

A runner I am not.  A big fan of hitting the gym and working out has never been me. Four years at the U of A and I never went into the student rec center...a wonderful facility that was free to me and I never even stepped foot into it for 4 years.  

About 2 months ago I started going to the YMCA here after I got a groupon.  I was shocked when I ended up liking it and wanted to actually pay to keep my membership when my time ran up on the groupon.  Who would have thought?  Certainly not me.  I felt better, I was sleeping better, I had more energy and I had a ton of fun going with my friends.  I can't lie, the last one might be the best part.  I have some great, fun, supportive friends here and every chance I get to do things, I am really putting myself out there to do it.  I  try to not say no to opportunities here.  So when one friend invited me to join her for the Shape 1st annual Diva Dash in Austin, I said yes.  Then I said, "What the hell am I thinking?" I hate running, I don't think I can fathom doing a 5K, oh and it has obstacles.  

But, I went.  I didn't chicken out (I really wanted to though).  I ran more than I thought I would or could. I didn't fall or get hurt and I finished!  It was hard and the hills were a killer, but I actually had fun and at the end of it felt a big sense of accomplishment and excitement.  I did it!  And I even, sort of, liked it.

One thing off my bucket list!  One thing I am sure no one, including me thought would ever be crossed off that list.

I had a great time with my friends, Laura, Carrie and Jessy...so thankful for ladies who were willing to try something that we all had never done before, challenge ourselves and have fun doing it.  We went down the night before, got a hotel, made shirts, stayed up late talking and got to know each other even more.  It was a lot of fun.  

Here is a photo of us below at the finish line...all smiles!  I am already signing up for my next 5k in May...I know, who am I?  Someone who wants to see if I can do a little better next time and if I really do like this.  I liked that it challenged me and that I was willing to take on the challenge.  May 14th is a month away, so I better get ready. ;) 

Off the Radar

So I have been bad about blogging as of late...for those that check here on a regular basis...sorry.  I just haven't made the time to sit and write much lately.  Nothing bad going on, but keeping busy with other things and just lost track of my blog for a bit.
I cleaned out a lot of toys and items to put into another consignment sale...cleaned, organized, labeled and took to the sale...we brought it all over last night and then went out to dinner on the way home. It was farther away than I would have normally gone for a consignment sale, but we made an event out of it, so it was fun.  The kids were so good about "donating" items to sell and very helpful when we were placing them on the sales floor.  I wasn't expecting that.  It was nice to clean out some things that we didn't use anymore, but admittidly some were hard to let go of...mostly little toys and puzzles that were Zachary's and then Erin's.  It simply signifies that they are big kids now, not babies and the baby toys aren't needed.  I packed up many toys and held back tears...I know it was the right thing to get rid of them, but it is also so hard too...I hate that.
The kids spent most of the day with their dad riding bikes and at a park.  I am glad they had a fun time while I was busy...Brandon had been gone Friday night and Saturday and will be gone a lot the next week...so it was good for them to have some alone time with just him.  I have been feeling the need to do some spring cleaning and tackling little projects here and there in the house.  It feels good to get some things done and cleaned out, but what a process.  Once I start one project, my mind fast forwards to the 7 other things I need to and should be doing...amazing what just doesn't get cleaning or attended to in normal weekly living.
Another week is starting and I am having a rough time realizing it is the end of March..how fast has this year flown by?  I don't want summer to get here...I love summer normally, but not this time...I will then have a a 7 and 4 year old...so depressing to me right now...
I am off to get ready to take Erin to gymnastics...I will post some photos later...

11 Years...

Here are some photos from our family anniversary dinner last night...it was a lot of fun to take the kids out to fancy place...they loved being at the Towers of America in downtown San Antonio...it has a view of the whole city and sits high in the air...rotates slowly while you sit and eat.  Each child had their first shirley temple and loved them.  It was a great night!

Canyon Lake

Here are a few quick photos from my camera that I took at Canyon Lake...we have a few more on the other camera too...will upload those later...

They were ready for smores when we got there...silly kids!

 View from our cabin (they are actually called shelters...they are very tiny!!)

 Example of how tiny with Zach on the porch...fine for camping and for the price though.

 Inside to the left...double bed...tiny fridge sink and micro in back...it had heat and air thankfully....it got into the low 40s that night...

 Otherside was bunk beds....bathroom with shower and toilet behind door...

 Looking super cute...

 On the pier fishing...

 Being Brave and checking out the worm....

We will for sure go back, it was a lot of fun for the kids...weather was colder than forecasted and therefor what I had packed....also both kids have bad coughs and snotty noses, so we chose to stay for a short time and head back...being sick isn't fun on a trip. :)