Old friends...

Last night was a nice treat for us...we had an old friend come over for dinner.  Sadly his wife and kids were out of town, so we will have to wait a week or so to get the whole gang together if we are lucky, but we are excited.  

We lived next door to this family in Abilene for the last year there and knew them before that...Craig actually was Brandon's boss and has become a great friend.  He is really one of the nicest men I have met to date...and I am not tooting his horn to get points with him since he doesn't know I have a blog or read it.  He is just a nice person...he is one of the best dads I have ever met...When we came out here in April we actually called him and his wife Nicole (who is super nice, normal and down to earth)...we just wanted to say hi and were in fact looking at a house around the corner from them.  They were so sweet and offered to watch Zach so we could get more house hunting in...we said sure!  Zach was lucky enough to get to play with their two youngest children who are 4 and 3...the older ones were at school....Zach hasn't stopped talking about Shay and Trey since that day and is so ready to see them.  I have never just left Zach anywhere to play other than at Brenda's...she used to watch him when he was little...so this was huge for me and says a lot about how I feel about this family.  Anyhow...he came over last night while his family is out of town...had dinner and it was so nice. Zach right away asked if Shay and Trey can play with him when they get home from Iowa...no prompting...it was awesome.  Erin wouldn't let poor Craig talk to her much less get close to her...it was a bit upsetting to me to see that her stranger issues are this bad.  We must get a handle on this soon.  She is just devastated with new people around and refuses to be away from me or Zach.  She is the sweetest child and so sad she doesn't let people see that.  Anyhow...we were thrilled to have a friend over and hopeful to see them much more.  

I spoke to Humana (insurance company) yesterday about Zach's therapies...we should be able to start them as soon as we get the provider list and pick a provider...yes I said we get to pick...I have no idea how to start that process since I have never had a choice before.  I hope it happens soon though and we get this rolling.  He should be getting speech and ABA therapy, so we will see.  I also spoke the school contact I have and sadly she won't be at his school anymore...moved into a new position at another elementary school in the district.  She gave me great advice, answered questions and told me to call anytime, so at least I have that.  She also lives in a sub division up the street from us and we might try to get together at some point...so that will be fun if it happens.  His registration is next week, the 30th...I am ready to get it done and have that settled. 

We are going to check out Corpus Christi the 1st of August...going down on Saturday and coming home Sunday...staying at the navy lodge there...so we will see what it is all about.  I am not holding out big expectations, but happy to let Zach go to the beach...he loves it!  

So that is that from here...one week and still paci free for Zachary...wow we are just thrilled!  

That is about it from here...

Movies!

Okay I have a few movies I want to see right now and NO friends to see them with...so sad.  I really have wanted to see the movie, "My Sister's Keeper"...it was a book by Jodi Picoult first, made to a movie. I love her books and this one was one of my favorites.  I might have to wait for it to come out on dvd...I want to see, "The Time Traveler's Wife".  I need to read the book first, but my friend Kelley has talked about it and now I saw the movie trailer and I want to see it.  I will want to see the next Twilight movie too for sure...New Moon.  So there are a lot on my list.  Ugh...must make friends soon.

Seriously I am pretty bored and I know the kids are too...as much as it is great to be somewhere with things to do, it is hard to not have people to do things with yet.  It just seems to be harder than it used to meet people.  Partly this is the first base we have moved to that Brandon hasn't been in a class....handed classmates and activities (we call this mandatory fun). As much as I hate that, it is at least a way to meet people.  We haven't been to church here and that seems to be the way a lot of people meet...already asked by two neighbors what church we go to...ah Texas. We will get to that soon, but not sure the kids are ready to sit still for a Catholic service and feel that embarrassing ourselves in front of a new church isn't what we are ready for. :)  I hope once school starts I will get to meet some moms or someone through that...also maybe get the time to do something for me, meet people through activities....just not sure where to start.  It feels so hard this time.  The kids are little.  It is just not as easy to get out and do for me.  Hopefully I start to meet people soon and feel a bit more at home in that sense...I think I had a rough time at Edwards with friends and sadly that has jaded me a bit.  I am scared to death of dealing  with what I did in CA...maybe it is a defense mechanism, but it is easier to not get hurt if you don't put yourself out there.  But, I know for the kids and my sanity I need to do it...It is just hard and scary and I don't feel the confidence to do it anymore.  It is a bit lonely...I know I have some amazing friends (some of you are reading this), but none of you live near me and at moments like this I can't help but feel sad about that.  I miss my friends, my real friends and I wish I was able to move you all around me...or see you more...or talk to you more...just anything.  

I guess I am feeling a little low on the friend front and a little, "is it me?"  So, hopefully it isn't and I can meet some people soon and feel more comfortable here. 

Wish me luck...

Keeping busy...

Trying to keep ourselves busy here...I have sadly spent more time at the dentist than I would like.  I will have to go back and get my crown replaced, but trying to put that off as long as I can.  Brandon has been sweet to take so much time and help me with the kids while I got to the appointments....The sad reminder that we are new here and don't have close friends or a sitter to turn to for times like this...ugh.  I am hopeful it will all get better soon...

The kids have enjoyed lots of pool time...the community pool is right around the corner and a great pool for small kids...I have enjoyed getting to take them up there during the day alone and have that break for them and for me. It is super hot, over 100 every day and humid, so the pool has been HUGE!  I have been working on the yard...when we arrived it was all dead and miserable looking.  Slowly it is coming around, but with this heat realistically I can't do too much.  At least it looks like my home now.  The inside is coming along too...the upstairs is getting paint in the bonus room now that we repaired the whole in the wall...the yellow room will be painted soon...picked the color and now need to go get it and get painting.  :)  Need to hang some shelves upstairs too.  Eventually will get a new TV and bed for up there too...all in due time.  Brandon is putting medicine cabinets in the downstairs bathroom...he installs them the owner pays for the cabinets.  

I have the kids in swimming and tumbling at a place close to the house.  Zach is loving it and doing so well in both classes...so proud of him for that.  Erin is having a rough time with all of it.  Sadly I think we have spent so much time focused on Zach's needs and worrying about socializing him, playing with him, etc that Erin hasn't had the exposure she needs. She is not willing to try new things in social settings, especially if Zachary isn't there.  She cries for him all the time.  She is very into mommy too and clings to me for dear life.  She won't let the instructors near her much less talk to her.  I know mommy's day out in the fall is a must, I just pray I can leave her there and she can not freak out completely.  Being around other kids is something she needs desperately and I think once we get into a routine and she is around kids more it will all get easier...right now it is painful to watch her cry and become so scared of strangers.  Swimming was awful last night.  Cried the whole time again.  Gymnastics was awful too, but we brought Zach in the room and she calmed down and began to follow him and then was happy and fine.  So basically he is her security blanket.  I am just hoping this doesn't last much longer...

Zach is doing awesome with his new accomplishment...hasn't had his paci since Sunday...slept all night every night without...hasn't asked for it and has been awesome!!!!  I am so proud of him I can't even put it into words.  THIS IS HUGE!!!!  He has had some rough days of being bored and not having enough stimulation here, but all in all I can't tell you how much better he has done than I had thought.  I am excited for him and hopeful.

Brandon is learning a lot about the good and bad of his job...good is the location and hours. Bad is that no wants to hear no. He can't tell everyone yes and give them the best assignments and that is hard for him.  He is frustrated a bit with that aspect and I feel badly for him...he hasn't even learned the ropes of the new job and getting phone calls left and right for assignments, changes, etc.  Hopefully for him it settles down.  

I am hopeful that I will start to meet some people soon. It seems harder and harder to meet people for me as I get older, with the kids, moving, etc.  I know two ladies here and have seen one of them...I had hoped that I would have gotten to see them more, but it hasn't happened and that stinks a bit.  I am going to go to a play group I found on meetup.com on August 5...maybe I can meet some ladies there. :)  

Reading a new book, Sarah's Key...very good so far.  Finished Vanishing Act by Jodi Picoult...always love her books.  

Here are the cuties...hugging before dinner the other night...

Erin with pigtails and Boo Boo Bear...
My handsome boy...

Zach's big accomplishment...

Well as each parent out there knows your children will go through tons of changes.  Some things just happen with no forcing or work.  Some things develop over a course of months and some things seem to happen over night. Some things are habits formed over time and some of those habits will in time need to be broken.  Sadly the reality it is that it is often the parents who hold off on breaking those.  We do it for a lot of reasons, mostly selfish. Most bad habits came from a place of comfort...they made the child happy and at that point in time caused no harm, so why not let it be.  Over time they become an issue.  We all have bad habits...adults, children...we all have them. Some of us never break ours. 

Well Zachary's occurred over 5 years...and like I said before it was more a problem caused from us letting him do something too long that made him feel good.  He had a paci as a baby and when we tried to get him to sleep through the night the pediatrician at the time told us great advice.  Buy like 6, put them in his crib, let him cry himself to sleep. He will find the pacis and be able to put it back in and self sooth...no problem.  Well then we started to cut down the number of pacis in bed...slowly mind you.  I specifically always felt sleep outweighed the idea of him being paci free.  I saw him on days he didn't sleep well and knew that his slept was too important to mess with .  He had a lot of sleep issues.   

As he started going to school and having therapies I got more and more feedback to get rid of the paci, but I also had no idea how to do it without disrupting his sleep and the rest of the family for that matter.  We had thought of last summer, but Brandon was deploying and I was terrified of doing it and having it backfire.  Then after he got home we were so busy trying to get the move settled, he was doing well in school and super busy with therapies.  Then we said his birthday.  But after much talk we realized his birthday was 3 weeks before a big move to a new place.  The concern was that he would associate the move with losing his paci and we would have a lot of issues.  So again, we put it off.  I put it off...it was easier for me and so therefor I didn't push the issue. 

Well after a few weeks here we were doing well.  Then Zach had a bad day Sunday.  He just wasn't listening and did a few things he had been told not to do.  I told him that I would take his paci away if he did it again.  Always has been an empty threat.  Until Sunday. I did it. I meant it and I did it.  And amazingly he went to bed without it...and slept.  He didn't go to bed without asking for it and telling us he wanted it, but he didn't have a massive Zach meltdown.  He didn't fly off the handle and scream. He didn't wake up all night crying for it.  He slept.  Yeah!!!!  Last night was a bit harder. He asked for it back and we told him it was gone.  It wasn't a one time thing, it was now gone to Paciland...so then I had to come up with where that was since my smarter than me son wanted to know where that was on a map...it is in Antarctica if you are curious. I told him they go there to be recycled for a new baby to get....we are big into recycling here right now.  He seemed to accept that well. So anyone who has a picture of their baby with a paci, please email it to me and I can let Zach know your baby got his recycled one.  He would love that!!! 

I am so proud of him...in many ways this was much harder on me than him. I was scared for him.  He has been super tired and crabby today since he didn't go to bed until 9:30 last night...way late for him. I am hopeful that with each day and night he will become more okay without and it bedtime will be easier...lots of excuses last night...needed water, needed bathroom, etc.  So we will see...I am proud of him and thankful that he as always handles things better than I can imagine he will and again has shown me what a big boy he is and how special he is.  This was the last baby thing I had been holding on to breaking with him. He was potty trained in 3 days when he was 3, but I for some reason wasn't ready to deal with the paci...silly me...Zach can do so much!  

So congratulations Zachary. You are ready to be a big boy and head to Kindergarten in August!!!

Children's Museum

We tried out the children's museum close to here on July 5th...very nice, clean and fun for the kids...close by, only 15 minutes north, so hopefully we can head there more!!!  Just wanted to share some photos from the trip.

Erin loves here accessories...hats!

Playing well together....
Asking me for more milk for the babies...she loves the baby area.
Taking care of the babies...
Working the register....
Shopping for yummy food.
Daddy and Erin...
More shopping...
He loved their ATM machine that dispensed money...he was thrilled...
In the rocket ship ready to blast off...
She kept saying, "Blast off"....she was hopeful, but it never took off...
NASA?  Well he can dream, but this mommy will never let her little man in space...the Challenger happening on my birthday has dashed his dreams and his dads....sorry boys!
Water time...
Poor Erin was so exhausted she passed out in her happy meal on the way home...at least we know they had fun.

Erin's new look...

Here is the new way I seem to continue to find my daughter around the house...I know, I know...must be time for toilet training.  In fairness I have kind of had some things going on, like moving, unpacking, setting up a house and my nine million dental visits.  We are heading down the toilet road...oh fun!!!

At least it is a cute view I get!!!

delayed information...

Well I was poking around on facebook the other night looking for people I knew and seeing if they were on there...funny who you find and who you don't.  I thought of a person I had known in college for a bit and didn't find them on there, so I plugged their name in google...a few sights came up....one very old with a story from 1997 in college and one a bit more recent...sadly the person has passed away and in a way it was quite expected, but still sad and still took me a moment to really let it sink in...

My senior year in college I had finally ended a long over due relationship with someone i had dated for several years.  I was finally enjoying college, enjoying dating and having some fun. I went out with my best friend Kelly to a bar with both loved to get some drinks and chat.  By the time the night was over I had gotten my first matchbox with a number in it...the boy was nice and worked at the bar...he seemed normal and safe so I called.  We ended up hanging out for a while and I wouldn't dare say dating...things with him were always a bit distant.  See he had a terminal illness and I think a lot of that determined how he handled a lot of things.  He was funny, charming, and for the most part a great guy. But he was dying...he was on a donor list and waiting to receive a new liver.  Turned out that while we were spending time together he had met someone else and when I confronted him on it I almost felt bad.  He had death sentence...not that it gave him the right to be a jerk to me, but it did explain a lot about how his mind was working. Ironically the night I went over to see him and caught him in a lie I later met Brandon at a Halloween party....3 weeks later we met again and then the rest is history.  

I saw this boy one more time at the end of summer 1999...I was walking across campus and had just gotten engaged...He was riding his bike and passed me...stopped and turned around to talk. It was a little awkward but we both spoke of how good our lives were going...I was engaged and happy and he had just met a girl he thought was great...turns out he married that girl and had a baby with her before he died.  We walked away no hard feelings and I wished him well...I have thought of him over the years and always wondered and hoped that he found peace...within his life and the chance to enjoy his life.  I think he did.  He died in May of 2007 after finally getting a liver from his brother.  According to the obituary he died after complications...

It was sad to read it and to think that at one time I knew him and listened to him tell me all about his diagnosis, treatments and hope for a transplant...I hope that his wife and baby are doing okay...I can't imagine their pain....

Sometimes the internet is a great way to reconnect with old friends and sometimes you would rather not know what you learn...I am glad that I got the chance to know him and that in the end he got to have some of the things he so desperately wanted in life before it was cut too short...

more photos of house...

Okay another round of photos..Front door looking down from stair landing...

bonus room...out of order...sorry
one day will be the guest room, right now the crap room where I have all the kids toys...the color is awful and we plan to paint that too, but will get to that....
Zach's room...looking in to the left...
looking in to the right...
more of the left...
view from doorway straight in...his room is a big rectangle...
part of bonus room looking into Zach's room...the door there is to the bathroom...little table is infront of ledge going down stairs.
part of bonus room...we plan to put floating shelves on that wall...but sadly we have to repaint the wall since the owner left so many holes in it to repair...
other side of bonus room upstairs...that sofa is infront of the wall to erin's room....
full view with sally...her new favorite room in the house...she spends all day asleep on that sofa...pathetic dog
Erin's room...still need to hang photos in here...we bought a handpainted sign of her name at Disneyland for her room and need to get it framed for over her bed...

a few house photos...more to come later...of

Here are a few quick photos...the camera battery was low...so I did what a I could, more to come later when I get the rest taken and uploaded...this is the kitchen....it is right off the living room and had been painted green and orange...funny enough I have a ton of those accents in my kitchen, but an accent and two different wall colors are different all together...so we chose to paint it....

Here is the dining room...first room when you walk in to the left...was a den before...

Kitchen/breakfast area...that wall was green prior to us painting it...it had food splattered on it so it was a must not only to get rid of the color but the nasty food issue....my new ikea table...love it!!!  So do the kids.  Notice both eating not on boosters...so big!
Living room looking in from kitchen....I have the couch at an angle...
Another view....
my bathroom...
My bedroom...was painted this blue with gray walls, so I went with it and found this bedspread....needed a new one, so this was a great compromise.
More photos later...off to swimming!

Happy 4th...

We had a nice 4th here in Texas...hung out and enjoyed time as a family.  I worked on our yard a bit...everything was dead when we got here and I had to pull it all out and start fresh.  Basically used a ton of our pots from Edwards...we had an enviroscaped  yard there, so all dirt and rocks...I had a lot of pots.  I was excited to plant a bit yesterday, but it is hot here and I couldn't get it all done.  We took the kids up to the pool late in the day...they had some games and Zach played well for the first part of the time there...then he just became annoying and wouldn't stop following kids around and asking them to play.  Again the moments it is painfully clear as a parent when is wrong and different.  Erin did well and played in the pool for the whole two hours.  Lets see if she can try that again at swim class on Wednesday.  :)  If not I will cancel her going for a while.  We then took out to find a spot to see the Schertz fireworks.  We parked off the road by the base and watched them from the car...opened the sun rook and windows and the kids were thrilled.  Zach loved them and was so happy...Erin actually got really into it too...yelling...yeah, mommy...yellow, green!!!  So cute.  All in all a good day and fun had by all. Brandon finally got his BBQ and is a happy man.  Still need to hang our floating shelves, get patio furniture and finish the yard...but it is coming along.  

The house is slowly coming together and feeling like home, so that is nice.  Unfortunately we have had some issues with our AC.  Basically every afternoon it goes out, causing the breaker to pop...fun stuff when it is over 1o0 degrees here and humidity up over 50%...so very hot.  We have the AC people coming out tomorrow and hoping it is a quick fix like not enough freon in the unit.  So we will see. It is a pain needless to say that we continue to have to fix problems in this house that should have been addressed before we got here...it was dirty when we arrived (food in the over dirty).  We have had ants and called the pest control out for that.  The walls had to be repainted in the kitchen not just from the color being awful, but there was food splattered on them.  Yard yellow and dead from not being watered and cared for...now the AC.  I like the house...floor plan and space...but the problems have been more than I had expected.  Oh well...hopefully we are on the up and up once we get the AC fixed.

I am off to shower and get the kids off to the children's museum north of here.  I am excited to see it, I have heard a ton about it and it is about 15 minutes away...I hope to venture out more now that we are settling in here at home.  DMV stuff done...dentist again on Wednesday...I think I need my crown replaced.  Need to turn in Erin's preschool paperwork and call the school about Zach...so lots to do and feeling accomplished!!!  Happy Holiday weekend!