sizing it up

Most birthdays for me have always been about basking in the joy of having my own special day.  Who doesn't like the attention, gifts and all the fun stuff that goes with birthdays...really they are just a lot of fun if you let them be.  As I have gotten older I have been blessed with a loving husband that spoils me rotten with wonderful surprises and attention on my special day. He always know how to make me feel loved.  I am so thankful to have that in my life.  I can't say that enough, I really love that he lets me love my birthday.
This year, like the past few, it is hard to have a day all about me when you have two little ones that think every day is all about them. :)  But we try anyway.  Having my family around me is my present.  Sure I would love to be on a sunny beach with my toes in the sand, a drink in one hand and no worries, but reality is that isn't my life.  I have a great life...but it is a tad different than the sunny beach picture.
Birthdays are strange.  When you are little you can't wait to grow up, to get to that next number.  You turn six and you start telling people, I am six and a half as soon as you can or, I will be seven on my next birthday.  You are always ready to be older.  That is until you get older.  Older is the other side of the fence, the grass is always greener type of thing.  You are sure you want it, until you get it.
I never put much thought into getting older or the idea of aging.  I didn't worry about gray hair or wrinkles, getting fatter, my body changing or any of the "fun" parts of aging.  But now...sigh...this birthday I am thinking...I am noticing...I am Sizing up 35.
I am older, that I can now see. I don't look in the mirror and see the same girl.  I now see wrinkles, gray hair, dark circles, signs of my age all over my face, my body, me.  Not in a bad way, but it is there, it is obvious to me now in ways it wasn't a birthday or two ago.  Or maybe I wasn't looking.  Either way, I walked with my husband in a sweet little Texas town last night and I was quiet.  I was thinking.  35 years of life.  I am thankful for each one, thankful for my family, my children, my health, my life.  I know I am blessed and I have more than I deserve.  I can't help but to feel like I haven't accomplished a lot.  I haven't done very much in my 35 years.  I know, I know....I can hear the buts from here.  But seriously...It is how I feel.
I am so proud of our life...being a military spouse, having two amazing children and getting to stay home with them is a privilege to me. I have a lot to be proud of and a lot of things in my life I do each day.  But, I also know there is more in my life to do and accomplish and that time will come.  I look forward to setting some goals and accomplishing them.  Maybe 35 is a great birthday to reflect, look forward, and to be excited for more things to come.  And maybe it is a time to stop and enjoy each day that I am 35...not hurry to be anything but who I am, right now!