Most birthdays for me have always been about basking in the joy of having my own special day. Who doesn't like the attention, gifts and all the fun stuff that goes with birthdays...really they are just a lot of fun if you let them be. As I have gotten older I have been blessed with a loving husband that spoils me rotten with wonderful surprises and attention on my special day. He always know how to make me feel loved. I am so thankful to have that in my life. I can't say that enough, I really love that he lets me love my birthday.
This year, like the past few, it is hard to have a day all about me when you have two little ones that think every day is all about them. :) But we try anyway. Having my family around me is my present. Sure I would love to be on a sunny beach with my toes in the sand, a drink in one hand and no worries, but reality is that isn't my life. I have a great life...but it is a tad different than the sunny beach picture.
Birthdays are strange. When you are little you can't wait to grow up, to get to that next number. You turn six and you start telling people, I am six and a half as soon as you can or, I will be seven on my next birthday. You are always ready to be older. That is until you get older. Older is the other side of the fence, the grass is always greener type of thing. You are sure you want it, until you get it.
I never put much thought into getting older or the idea of aging. I didn't worry about gray hair or wrinkles, getting fatter, my body changing or any of the "fun" parts of aging. But now...sigh...this birthday I am thinking...I am noticing...I am Sizing up 35.
I am older, that I can now see. I don't look in the mirror and see the same girl. I now see wrinkles, gray hair, dark circles, signs of my age all over my face, my body, me. Not in a bad way, but it is there, it is obvious to me now in ways it wasn't a birthday or two ago. Or maybe I wasn't looking. Either way, I walked with my husband in a sweet little Texas town last night and I was quiet. I was thinking. 35 years of life. I am thankful for each one, thankful for my family, my children, my health, my life. I know I am blessed and I have more than I deserve. I can't help but to feel like I haven't accomplished a lot. I haven't done very much in my 35 years. I know, I know....I can hear the buts from here. But seriously...It is how I feel.
I am so proud of our life...being a military spouse, having two amazing children and getting to stay home with them is a privilege to me. I have a lot to be proud of and a lot of things in my life I do each day. But, I also know there is more in my life to do and accomplish and that time will come. I look forward to setting some goals and accomplishing them. Maybe 35 is a great birthday to reflect, look forward, and to be excited for more things to come. And maybe it is a time to stop and enjoy each day that I am 35...not hurry to be anything but who I am, right now!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
overload...
Right now that is how I feel...
Our move is a few months away, but I am on the computer 5 times a day looking at the same rentals and wondering if anything new will pop up, what can I do without, what can I tolerate? Have you looked at rentals on line...really looked. Some of them are so disgusting and scary...the decor, the uncleanliness, the strange things people do to a home...all of it is mind boggling and makes the process that much more frustrating.
Add in that I am very picky about the children's school. Erin will be in kindergarten and Zach in 3rd grade. I want them both to be in a great place, a good school and around an environment that makes them feel good, flourish and excel. I refuse to have this year be one that I say, oh we moved and they are transitioning. No. Kindergarten needs to be great for Erin...she is little and not where Zach was at this age...she needs a great school, teacher and environment to learn. Zach is so special. So smart, sweet and capable. But he needs a school where he won't be overlooked, a behavioral problem and he will be appreciated. He needs to be challenged.
I have been looking at specific schools in Beavercreek, only two that I feel okay sending the kids to...but the houses are few and far between in that area and what I have seen is to be honest, not good. Then I have looked in an area farther away...still nothing great. I found one house that I loved...LOVED. Called and it sold 24 hours before, paid cash. UGH.
So today I got online again, opened my mind to some other options. Trying to listen to some advice and ignore other. I know people are well intentioned, but I know my family. If we live 5 minutes from base or 45, Brandon won't come home for lunch. If one more wife tells me that he can next year I will laugh out loud...no, that isn't him. And why would he? Both kids will be in school all day and if I want to have lunch with him, I say eat out. His commute can be 25 minutes, but the kids can't be in a class where the ratio is 25 to 1...not if we have another choice for them. So...tonight I started to look at more houses and I am realizing, if we go for the best schools, we will be in a small house in an old part of town...I am nervous about cutting back and storing things. But in reality, I love old homes. I can do anything for a year. Things are just that, things.
So...I continue to pray for things to fall into place and ask that you say one or two as well if you wouldn't mind. We are so thankful for the time here in San Antonio and in reality we have grown so spoiled with this house and all we have. I am reminded how much we can be enriched in other ways...
Our move is a few months away, but I am on the computer 5 times a day looking at the same rentals and wondering if anything new will pop up, what can I do without, what can I tolerate? Have you looked at rentals on line...really looked. Some of them are so disgusting and scary...the decor, the uncleanliness, the strange things people do to a home...all of it is mind boggling and makes the process that much more frustrating.
Add in that I am very picky about the children's school. Erin will be in kindergarten and Zach in 3rd grade. I want them both to be in a great place, a good school and around an environment that makes them feel good, flourish and excel. I refuse to have this year be one that I say, oh we moved and they are transitioning. No. Kindergarten needs to be great for Erin...she is little and not where Zach was at this age...she needs a great school, teacher and environment to learn. Zach is so special. So smart, sweet and capable. But he needs a school where he won't be overlooked, a behavioral problem and he will be appreciated. He needs to be challenged.
I have been looking at specific schools in Beavercreek, only two that I feel okay sending the kids to...but the houses are few and far between in that area and what I have seen is to be honest, not good. Then I have looked in an area farther away...still nothing great. I found one house that I loved...LOVED. Called and it sold 24 hours before, paid cash. UGH.
So today I got online again, opened my mind to some other options. Trying to listen to some advice and ignore other. I know people are well intentioned, but I know my family. If we live 5 minutes from base or 45, Brandon won't come home for lunch. If one more wife tells me that he can next year I will laugh out loud...no, that isn't him. And why would he? Both kids will be in school all day and if I want to have lunch with him, I say eat out. His commute can be 25 minutes, but the kids can't be in a class where the ratio is 25 to 1...not if we have another choice for them. So...tonight I started to look at more houses and I am realizing, if we go for the best schools, we will be in a small house in an old part of town...I am nervous about cutting back and storing things. But in reality, I love old homes. I can do anything for a year. Things are just that, things.
So...I continue to pray for things to fall into place and ask that you say one or two as well if you wouldn't mind. We are so thankful for the time here in San Antonio and in reality we have grown so spoiled with this house and all we have. I am reminded how much we can be enriched in other ways...
Thursday, January 5, 2012
New Year....Resolutions? Goals!
I like the idea of having goals/resolutions, whatever you choose to call it, each year. I think it helps me look back on the last year and see where I "failed" to complete things I had wanted to do or to be proud of what I did do. Either way, I like setting some goals...sadly I seem to look back each year and always wonder why didn't I do that.
So...
Last year I didn't stick with several things, but some things I did and a few things that weren't on my list are accomplishments I am proud of too. I quit soda last spring...sometime around March, but it wasn't a Lent thing. I just decided to see if I could go without and now almost a year later, I am soda free. I was a soda junkie, so for me, this was huge. I have always needed to drink more water than I do...mostly for my colon that isn't the best at doing its job. :) I hoped this would force my hand. I still need to drink more than I do, but I am way better than I was a year ago.
I completed a 5K with some friends. I still hate running.
I joined a gym last spring and went a lot....loved the classes and had so much fun. But in the summer it dwindled. A big reason was child care. I loved having Erin there, she was in a safe fun room and most of my friends that went were moms from her preschool, so she had friends with her a lot. Zachary's child care wasn't the same. No real regulation, supervision...I never felt like it was a good fit for him and wasn't comfortable going. We loved the splash pad and used it a lot. After my beach trip I couldn't get into the groove of going...so by October I quit. I am sad about it, but it was a good choice since I wasn't using it enough. I am putting my money into other personal improvements. :)
I didn't catch up on scrapbooking.
I did read, but not as much as I had hoped.
I did try to do better about my personality traits...we are all works in progress.
So this year....my goals are a bit of the same and some new.
2012 GOALS
1. I did quit the gym, but I have a goal for keeping fit. I looked back on times when I was most fit or thinner and all where when I was walking a lot...Living at Edwards I walked a ton and I was in good shape there...so I am back to walking. I love walking and it is a great for Sally. So my goal is walk her every day. On days we can't bc of weather I will try to use my treadmill or head to the base gym. It isn't the Y with my friends and close to the house, but it is free and an option I can turn to now.
2. Catch up on my scrapbooking!
3. Continue to read...a book a month is my goal!
4. Learn to Sew! I have signed up for like 5 sewing classes and never have had it work out....so I have a friend that is a great seamstress...going to have her give me some lessons...
5. Work on having my nails taken care of...no weekly manicures, but do it myself, clear coat, clean looking nails.
6. Make time to do fun things with my family. We spend so much time on school, therapy, work, etc...I need to make it a point to make time for fun. Enjoy all the moments we have as much as we can.
7. Continue to work on being a patient, loving, compassionate mom and wife. To tone down. Lower my volume. Think before I speak and before I act. Apologize for my mistakes. Be present!
8. Spend less, shop less...save more. Pretty simple, but oh so hard!
9. Find more ways to give back and volunteer...I miss that and enjoy it whenever I get to do it.
10. Be better at communicating...text less, call more. Send mail. Surprise someone with a little token of love or friendship. Go for coffee with a friend. Take time to talk and listen.
I hope that in 2012 I can accomplish a lot of things on this list and above all, try my best to make myself the best me I can be.
So...
Last year I didn't stick with several things, but some things I did and a few things that weren't on my list are accomplishments I am proud of too. I quit soda last spring...sometime around March, but it wasn't a Lent thing. I just decided to see if I could go without and now almost a year later, I am soda free. I was a soda junkie, so for me, this was huge. I have always needed to drink more water than I do...mostly for my colon that isn't the best at doing its job. :) I hoped this would force my hand. I still need to drink more than I do, but I am way better than I was a year ago.
I completed a 5K with some friends. I still hate running.
I joined a gym last spring and went a lot....loved the classes and had so much fun. But in the summer it dwindled. A big reason was child care. I loved having Erin there, she was in a safe fun room and most of my friends that went were moms from her preschool, so she had friends with her a lot. Zachary's child care wasn't the same. No real regulation, supervision...I never felt like it was a good fit for him and wasn't comfortable going. We loved the splash pad and used it a lot. After my beach trip I couldn't get into the groove of going...so by October I quit. I am sad about it, but it was a good choice since I wasn't using it enough. I am putting my money into other personal improvements. :)
I didn't catch up on scrapbooking.
I did read, but not as much as I had hoped.
I did try to do better about my personality traits...we are all works in progress.
So this year....my goals are a bit of the same and some new.
2012 GOALS
1. I did quit the gym, but I have a goal for keeping fit. I looked back on times when I was most fit or thinner and all where when I was walking a lot...Living at Edwards I walked a ton and I was in good shape there...so I am back to walking. I love walking and it is a great for Sally. So my goal is walk her every day. On days we can't bc of weather I will try to use my treadmill or head to the base gym. It isn't the Y with my friends and close to the house, but it is free and an option I can turn to now.
2. Catch up on my scrapbooking!
3. Continue to read...a book a month is my goal!
4. Learn to Sew! I have signed up for like 5 sewing classes and never have had it work out....so I have a friend that is a great seamstress...going to have her give me some lessons...
5. Work on having my nails taken care of...no weekly manicures, but do it myself, clear coat, clean looking nails.
6. Make time to do fun things with my family. We spend so much time on school, therapy, work, etc...I need to make it a point to make time for fun. Enjoy all the moments we have as much as we can.
7. Continue to work on being a patient, loving, compassionate mom and wife. To tone down. Lower my volume. Think before I speak and before I act. Apologize for my mistakes. Be present!
8. Spend less, shop less...save more. Pretty simple, but oh so hard!
9. Find more ways to give back and volunteer...I miss that and enjoy it whenever I get to do it.
10. Be better at communicating...text less, call more. Send mail. Surprise someone with a little token of love or friendship. Go for coffee with a friend. Take time to talk and listen.
I hope that in 2012 I can accomplish a lot of things on this list and above all, try my best to make myself the best me I can be.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
More Christmas....
Since I didn't get any photos up the other day, after I said I would, I thought I would take some time now to do that...
We had a great time at Christmas having my parents in town. Such a treat for us and the kids since we don't live near family and our visits are less frequent than I would like. The kids were so happy to have my parents here, show them all the new things they can do, new toys, games, etc. Most of all to have them around to hug and kiss and talk to...it is sweet to see how they interact.
So here are some photos...
My mom and I on Christmas Day!
Brandon and my mom...the two of them really are the cooks that put together our meal. Brandon was quite proud of his yummy turkey.
Zachary...love his sweet face and sincere love of all of his gifts...even clothes. He honestly just was thankful....
But some items were pretty big hits. ;)
All Erin wanted was a baby doll high chair...well she got one!
And a princess scooter. :)
And someone else got a big boy scooter this year.
And Sally got a stash of new goodies. She was particularly found of the Santa.
Their sweet faces as they saw the gifts for the first time. Love this.
Our tree...
My parents and the kiddos.
My sweet girl and her Santa Key...since we don't have a fireplace the kids make magic keys to let Santa come in the house. They make two, one for the front and back door, because you never know which Santa will use.
His key was so good this year...he took his time and it was done so nicely.
Making sugar cookies.
Erin forever being silly...
Mom and Zach playing words free together.
Erin!
The bakers...
I love this child...
The sweetest treats are actually the ones making the cookies if you ask me.
My mom and her little buddies...
It was a great Christmas and I am so thankful again for the time with my parents and for the opportunity to make wonderful memories.
I was sad the weather didn't cooperate with some of my plans, but hey, it was better than being sick with the stomach flu for most of the time like last year. We saw lots of lights at Windcrest one night, had lots of yummy dinners, played board games, went to church together on Christmas Eve and enjoyed each other...A wonderful visit.
We had a great time at Christmas having my parents in town. Such a treat for us and the kids since we don't live near family and our visits are less frequent than I would like. The kids were so happy to have my parents here, show them all the new things they can do, new toys, games, etc. Most of all to have them around to hug and kiss and talk to...it is sweet to see how they interact.
So here are some photos...
My mom and I on Christmas Day!
I was sad the weather didn't cooperate with some of my plans, but hey, it was better than being sick with the stomach flu for most of the time like last year. We saw lots of lights at Windcrest one night, had lots of yummy dinners, played board games, went to church together on Christmas Eve and enjoyed each other...A wonderful visit.
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