Summer time...

Sorry...no pictures tonight...I know, most of you check in for photos, but I just haven't been good about taking them the past two weeks...
I am happy to say that we are staying very busy this summer and I am glad I made some changes in my plans for the summer...opting to be more "free" with our plans.  It was a hard transition on week one for Zachary, I can't lie. He basically imploded.  I had taken down the daily schedule and since we had no set day to day plan, just had the big family month calendar up for him to view.  Our days are all different.  Monday he has Occupational therapy for an hour at 1, then ABA at home from 4-6.  Tuesday (year round) Speech and OT from 4-5...Thursday at 4:30 we have piano.  Add in some fun play dates at the pool, the Y, birthday parties...we were busy.  But I didn't stop and think about his needs as much as I usually would have.  I think I got complacent.  We are in a "good" spot with him in many ways...so I was not expecting the worst as I used to do on a daily basis.
Well, the poor guy needed more.  We went to the Y a lot of AMs in a row, for me to work out and let them play.  His play area is not as structured or adult supervised and therefor a hard place for him to stay for a while and still be focused when we are done. I can't stop my Y time, it is a big part of life for me now and I love it/need it...but he needs stuff too.
So the next day, after massive implosion of my son...we started using a dry erase board...a small 8 x10 one, and writing that days schedule on it...we are careful to leave quiet/nap time in there and time to flex a plan if we need to, but for the most part, we make the schedule and try to stick to it.  It helped a lot.  This week they are at VBS at our church....we love our church, so it is nice to send them there for their first VBS experience.  So far, day one, so good.
We have had some fun pool play dates with a few friends so far...it is nice to have the chance this summer to do that and enjoy our friends, the pool and summer vacation to the fullest.  I can't believe how much I am enjoying it.
Erin will be 4 this weekend, I am not sure how I feel. Part of me is sad that she is getting to be such a big girl and my baby is growing up. She is a sweet, sensitive soul, full of smiles, imagination, silliness and energy. She changed our lives and has been a blessing like no other.  We are so thankful for her every day, even days she tags her room gangster style with a ball point pen and almost makes me ebay her.  Even then.  I will always say, Zach is my purpose and she is my gift. I will forever feel like this and be grateful for these two amazing kids.
I had an AH HA moment today while at Zach's therapy. I had two moms in there with me that were newer to the therapy, diagnosed kid on the spectrum world. I was the wiser mom that had been there, done that and had a kid doing really well.  It was odd to me to be that lady, but as I was talking I realized, we have been at this for more than half his life now.  At 3 he got the diagnosis...two weeks out from Erin's scheduled c-section we went to UCLA for the painful, gut wrenching, I never talked about, evaluation.  We were told to do, A, B and C and come back in 6 months.  In the mean time we took him to get another evaluation...awful place and horrible person that made me feel so hopeless....then the school on base did an evaluation...the full monty to test for autism.  I was ready to know, I thought. I sat in the IEP, with baby Erin in my arms and was told he tested on the Autism spectrum...You think you can prepare yourself for those moments.  But, you can't.  It hurt.  As I looked down at my new baby in my arms and thought about my other baby who was off at a friends house, I honestly thought, how will I do this.  Will we have a "normal" life.  Will he be okay.  Will he date, be married, have a good life.  Then I got to bussiness.  I figured out no one there was going to give me shit.  15 minutes of speech twice a week was what I got.  So I read book after book.  Found a speech therapist in town that rocked and got Tricare to approve it. Drove him 45 minutes each way to a private preschool to let him be around his peers and then the other three days be at his PPCD program on base for special ed.  We got more evaluations and tried to do a lot at home...floor time, flash cards, breaking habits, setting limits...it was hard.  But, as I have said with the AF life of moving and deployments...it isn't a can do attitude, it is a have to do one.  He is my baby, therefor I just have to suck it up and do it.
After talking to two moms today I realized what a different place I am in that I was 4 years ago.  I also realized I might never have been in their place. I welcomed the diagnosis.  I longed for the help in learning how to understand him, get him to enjoy his life to the fullest and be all that I knew he could be. I felt strange today being the wise mom that I had been there, done that.  That isn't me. But in fact, it might be in some ways.  We have been at this a while.  Erin knows nothing else than this life...Zach I am sure doesn't either.  We adapted to this life and it is know what we know and I wouldn't change it if I could.  I am so proud of him.  All he has accomplished, achieved and learned.  The person he is. He has grown so much in the past 4 years. Leaps and Bounds!!!  I wouldn't change him if I could.  He has made me a better mom, a better person and changed my life in ways I can't articulate.
No he isn't cured. We aren't out of the woods.  We still have a long road ahead with changes and bumps I am sure.  He will have Autsim for the rest of his life.  But he copes with it daily and is thriving in so many ways.  We as a family are.  Four years...amazing how much your life can change in such a short time and how looking back you can't imagine living it any other way.