Random thoughts...

I can't get over it is April...when I wanted time to pass a bit quicker here, like the year of Test Pilot school that I did NOT enjoy...it drug on forever...now I have to admit I am feeling rushed.  We had dinner at the club with the couple we had over last night...they are so nice and I am really excited we met them...Dinner was actually good...no, not the actual food. I try to stay at the salad bar....the kids ate well and sat for a long time we could talk.  We saw some other friends there too, so it was a nice outing for us in general.  

Zach had a huge triumph yesterday...okay to explain...He HATES getting his toenails cut...he is fine with fingernails, hair, but toenails send him into hysterics...I literally have to sit on him to get him to stay still and let me do it and he is still screaming and crying the whole time. They get so long my mom calls them talons and they make it hard for him to put his socks on.  So with Zach it is often best to let him think he is in charge...so I let him choose the day we were going to cut them....he chose August...I reminded him it had to be in March....he chose March 31, of course.  I asked yesterday what time...he tried to give me really late times when he was already in bed, so I told him between 1-5...he chose 4:30...seeing a pattern?  So at 4:09 I said, I know it is early, but lets just get this over with, are you ready?  Oh My God!  He let me cut his nails...I didn't have to hold him,  didn't hear crying, whining...there was no thrashing or hitting...they are all short and he actually said," thank you mommy, when they get long again, you cut them, okay?".  I was so thrilled...Little things for most are huge things here I tell you.

Still very intrigued with this idea of sensory processing disorder...looking into that and finding out more...requesting a new evaluation in Texas once we get there...we will see what we can find out for our little guy...

Erin is starting to have separation issues...Zach didn't go through this until he was about a year older than her and it was when I was super pregnant with her. She is all about me and it kills her when I leave. It kills me too!

Just learned sales tax here is going up to 9.25%....what the heck????  I am so irritated I can't even fully speak about this or I will lose it...just another reason this place drives me batty and I am so ready to leave...4 years here I think I have handled without too much bitching...but man if I choose to write a blog on all the things about being here that have just done me in, and I probably will, be prepared!  

Okay...I am off to get myself looking like a semi living and functional mom....having lots of abdominal pain on the right side...will watch it for the day and see if it this is more serious and I need to seek out a doctor...for now lets hope not...

AUTISM AWARENESS DAY is tomorrow...I will be sure to blog about that....

Almost April?

Where the heck is the time going?  I feel like the past few months have flown by...I can't believe it is almost April!  

We got tickets to go to San Antonio to hunt for some houses...will head out during Zach's spring break from school. We plan to look at a few homes we found for rent in the area of Shertz/Cibolo....suburbs north east of San Antonio.  Schools are good there, it is close to the base (Randolph AFB) and we have heard great things about it.  We found some homes that look nice, but online you never know, so we plan to just check it out in person...look at the neighborhoods, schools, etc.  Also plan to check into a preschool for Erin...I forgot in that area it is Mom's Day out or as they call it, Kids Day out...love that!  If I can register her now, that would be great and one thing I don't have to worry about later.  We will look at the base houses and put our names on the list, but we hear the wait is long there and I am not sure being in the TLF (temporary living facility) for 1-2 months is worth a base house when it is said and done.  So we will see.  We are just going for 2 days, so it will be fast, but good to see the area and get some ideas for things.  

Zach headed off to speech school in Boron this AM with HUGE smiles...Miss Helen is coming back from maternity leave...he hasn't seen her since December and was super excited.  I love that for him.

I tried to work on cleaning out some more clothes in the garage. I have really struggled letting go of Zach's baby clothes for a lot of reasons.  I am not 100% ready to say we are done even though I know we most likely are.  I have loved being a mom and even enjoyed being pregnant...I just hate to close that door so finally with getting rid of so much.  But I did make some big and bold steps this weekend.  Threw out things that just weren't worth saving at all...packed up items to good will and then sorted for Ebay sales.  I stalled with my maternity clothes for some reason and I am not sure why...I will try again.  Planning a garage sale for the bigger toys and things I can't sell on ebay. I am hopeful when it is said and done I will feel good about things...now I just feel chaos.  

We had a good weekend...got the car taken in to have a "check up".  All is well.  Hung out in town and took the kids to lunch and Barnes and Nobles...Zachary was in heaven with all the books and walked away with a new junior encyclopedia and children's atlas book.  He is like my dad and just planted himself in the aisle of the book store with his books and started reading...happy as a clam. Erin was thrilled with all the books too, but more about taking them out and running to show us and then gathering more.  She loved the Elmo section!

Last night we had some new friends over for dinner. A couple that just got in the squadron.  Brandon had hung out with Joe the husband Friday and came home really excited about how nice he was and I had met his wife Maria at a coffee...so we both jumped to ask them over...super nice, normal, down to earth and fun people...so sad we meet them right before we move, but just happy to know them.  I feel like that is what it is about...I am thrilled to get to make new friends.  

Sally is doing well post op.  She isn't loving the cone, but we have learned we MUST keep it on 24/7...her ear is super itching from her fur being shaved and she wants to scratch...her tummy looks nasty, but is healing. I am just glad all the blood work came back totally normal and she is a healthy pup like we had hoped.  I now might have to Ebay her to pay for her vet bill.  :)  Just kidding...

Well I am off to get ready for the behaviorist and alone time with Erin...Happy Monday!

Sally Photos

Here is poor Sally...no laughing...she really is being a trooper!

Incision in her head...funny how her skin is the same color as her markings under her fur...

This is the big one on her chest...6 stitches..poor Sally!

Still happy and full of kisses...

Sally!

I don't have a photo to post at the moment, but wanted to do a blog update on Miss Sally.  

We have been watching a bump on her chest for a while now and then noticed one on her head last weekend....we decided it was time to take her in and let them take them out and run some blood work. She went in at 9 and had 3 lumps removed...one on her leg, one on her ear (the brown one) and one on her chest area.  The one on the chest was the largest and she now has 6 stitches there and some yucky drainage...the one on her ear has I think 3 stitches and looks good other than the shaved hair and the one on her leg you can't see.  She stayed until 5 and we went to get her at the Vet...they were going to not have a Vet there over night so we wanted her home with us. She has her cone to wear so she doesn't lick or pull her stitches out...Erin already calls it her hat.  We bought a new kennel for her...we got rid of her old one when we moved from TX and will need to get one again when we move back since Sally has thunder storm issues and must be kenneled during them...so I ran to town at 6 to buy one for her...She is doing well and in good spirits.  It was a nice price tag for the Vet visit, but I have to say, money well spent if it keeps Sally with us for as long as we can. 

Sally will be 9 in August and has been with Brandon and I since our first year together...we got her right after my birthday in 2001...she was basically abandoned by a family that got her for Christmas and escaped to our friend's house (April and Clayton).  They tried to return her, but they people didn't care and hadn't even named her. We got a call from Clayton telling us that our dog was at his house.  We drove over and the whole way (all 5 minutes across the town of Enid, OK)...I cussed out Brandon and told him NO WAY can we have a dog...we can't pay our bills...I am working two jobs, you are gone 16 plus hours a day, yadda, yadda, yadda.  I was really not wanting a pet.  We got to the Johnson's house and they had Sally out back in their dog's igloo dog house...she crawled  out and sat in my lap...She was so sweet and so darn cute I couldn't resist her. She came home with us a few days later when we had a dog pen built in the yard behind our condo.  

Sally has always been sweet.  She is crazy too. She ran away for 8 hours in Enid with her boyfriend Capone....lesson learned, Sally stays on a leash.  She has destroyed numerous items, mostly in her early years....a 49er doll of my moms, an expensive sweater of mine, pillows, bedspreads, you name it...

But Sally is a member of this crazy family. She is a good dog and loves us as much as we love her. When Brandon deployed and I was pregnant she literally never left my side when I was at home...I left for work and she would stare at me out the window and was there when I got home.  When we had Zach we were nervous that she might be too wild with a baby...boy were we wrong. She became Zach's favorite thing...he used to go to our back window and babble to her and just laugh.  He would feed her dog food by hand when he was little and follow her around the yard for as long as she would wander. She has always been so good and gentile with him and now with Erin.  Both kids adore her, but are sometimes too rough...she never barks, never growls, never shows her teeth...NEVER!  She is just so good with them.  

She is my very best walking friend...we go for LONG walks and just love being out together.  She is a great dog and I am so thankful we have had 8 years with her, but I want more!  Thanks to everyone for thinking of her today...she is home and doing well and we are so happy to have her back...it was actually way too quiet around here today without her!

Somber

As most of you read or saw on the news there was a fatal crash here at Edwards AFB yesterday AM.  The crash involved and F-22.  We did not know Dave Cooley or his family, but it doesn't make the loss any less real or tragic to members of the base or the AF community...

Last night I did a lot of thinking and some crying...for the family that lost a loved one.  I cried for a lot of things...

Most of in this world (the military) know that our husbands take inherent risks doing their daily jobs...as the wife of a pilot I got the talk early on when he went to pilot training when we were newly weds...the awful talk about who we notify, what to do, etc.  I have had Brandon deploy 4 times.  I watch him leave the house and go out to fly an airplane many days of the year. While I know the risks associated with it all, I think at some point a lot of us in this life desensitize ourselves to it...we know it is there like the elephant in the room, but we dare not speak about it.  We all live with the fear of the knock on the door, but we also can't live our daily lives waiting for the worst.  We go on and act like it is a normal desk job, have a great day at work sweetie while you are flying 500 feet off the ground and going speeds that break the sound barrier.  I think if we thought of that stuff we would all be insane...well more insane.  I know for me it is easier to not dwell on it.  

However yesterday made it painfully clear and real again why we can't ignore it all the time.  It is there...the possibilities of tragedy.  I started to assume the worst early in the day. CNN was reporting that the plane went down at 10 AM and by 12 they were saying the status of the pilot was unknown....same story at 3 when I left for Miss Gerri's...Sometimes no news isn't good news.  In this case I knew if they (the AF) knew the pilot was okay they would report that, it is a good thing.  If he wasn't they had to go through the notification process and couldn't release a statement until all next of kin on that list knew...my husband was allowed to call and tell me he was okay, he had been flying the C-17 that AM on a test mission...he couldn't say more than that.  

I respect the privacy that AF shows in this time and how they huddle together and protect their own.  While it seems secretive to the rest of the world, they are being careful to do the right things...

I admire Brandon's job and I respect what he does, but it does scare me more than I let myself think about...I hugged him a bit harder today than normal before he left...

My thoughts and prayers go out to the Cooley family... 

Recap...

This was a good week...Zachary had a good week up until yesterday. He had a rough day at school and then for the most part a good day.  I am so ready for him to get out of this school.  The one he goes to in town is great...it is a regular preschool through a church, Palmdale United Methodist Preschool (PUMP).  He has been in 3 classrooms there, 3 teachers and I have always liked them and felt he was getting a great chance to learn around great people. In particular, I love the teacher he has now, Miss Fabi.  She is awesome. I actually requested her room and am so glad I did...she is sweet but firm and is on top of everything. He goes there Tuesday and Thursday...I would put him there daily if it weren't for the 45 minute drive there and 4 hours I have to spend in town while he is there.  The other school is through the school district. It used to be on base and is now in a small town off base, Boron. He is picked up on a van and drive there, 25 minutes each way.  The class itself is only about an hour and a half long...special ed class working on speech skills.  He seems to like it, but I have always felt it holds him back a bit in intellect...he is doing well above what the class is learning.  (Example - Miss Fabi knows he can read, so she let him read a story to his class on Thursday).  The speech school also have other children with issues, some less, some more...but the behavior he sees there isn't behavior he has at home, but is seeing and learning there. Frustrating to say the least. His teacher there is great, but has been out on maternity leave since Christmas...3 subs since then.  I just think the school offers him very little that right now he needs...however if we take him out of it, he doesn't get services for Autism because first you must go through your district.  UGH...I am glad we will be moving soon!

He had school pictures this week...cap and gown ones!  His graduation is June 10th at night...I am pretty excited about it.

He just started to not only figure out answering questions, but is asking them. HUGE!  He is almost five. He didn't answer yes or no until 3 1/2. He has been answering some questions for a while now, like "what".  But the harder ones, why, who, where, when, how....have been much more of a struggle. Like all things Zachary, it just seemed to come together.  It makes it easier for us to communicate with him and I think for him it gives him the chance to questions the world around him and feel like he has some control.  I know that some times his poor brain is not in control and that must feel scary...so this is nice to see him asking and answering...being involved in his world.  

He also has been better about trying new foods this past week...always a key here. Erin will try everything...might not like it all, but she will try all food.  

Speaking of the little one...she finally switched from calling me Mahi to Mommy yesterday. Happened out of the blue and is too sweet. She is talking more, pointing and just in general a fun baby. Can't get over the fact she will be 2 when we move...where the hell did those years go. I am not as shocked he will be 5 as she is 2.  It is amazing how that slipped away.  She is a busy girl...learning her numbers, letters, colors....although she usually calls everything Geen (green). She is willing now to let me put her hair back, but it doesn't stay all day....I call it progress and am okay with that. She and Zach actually play really well together and he is an awesome brother to her. She thinks he is the best thing in the world!  I love watching them together.  

I feel pretty darn blessed that I celebrated nine years of marriage this week and have this wonderful family around me.  Struggles aside, I am so lucky and feel grateful each day...

*** Finished Nicholas Sparks "The Lucky One"....as always love his books and think it was good.  Started Jodi Picoult's "Change of Heart"...so far I am sucked in as I usually am with her books...

Happy Anniversary!

Nine years...

Today is my nine year anniversary with Brandon....hard to believe sometimes it has been that long and then other times it seems like it has been longer.  I am happy to say that this year we have no big hoopla planned...we went to eat on Friday night together and plan to spend today doing the usual...no speech tonight for Zach, so we are doing a family dinner.  I like that.  We don't ever hide the fact that our marriage isn't perfect...we have hit road bumps and had our share of disagreements.  What I am thankful for is that we saw a reason to work through it.  I have someone by my side that is genuinely a good person.  He is my best friend.  I am glad we are with each other in this world to share experiences good and bad together.  In fact I thought the other night what is the hardest part of him being deployed....it isn't having him gone or being alone...that I can handle.  I miss having him there in those moments when the kids do something new, or big, or fun and he isn't with me to share it.  

I feel pretty lucky today.  I have two amazing children that I adore and make me happy beyond words.  I have a great husband who is at the end of the day my best friend.  We have had a good nine years...not perfect.  I say that is success.  Happy Anniversary!

Photo...

Really happy to be able to see and the headaches behind me with my new glasses...I am wearing them a lot and it is helping, A LOT! I need to wear them to read, computer, tv time and driving at night especially...I feel a big difference...so here you go Karla...a photo! (now update your blog will you!!!)
Me and Little Miss Erin...

Monday...off to a good start...

Here are some photos from my date with Zachary on Sunday. I honestly had the best time with him. We played at a miniature golf course...went to Toys R Us for him to buy his game...on his own...ate lunch at his favorite spot - Panera! He had a good lunch, sat still and ate it all...then we headed to Sam's to get some items I needed...all in all he was so good and we had so much fun. He thanked me without prompting during lunch and he just seemed to really have fun. He got that it was a big deal to have a day alone and that was awesome.

In the car on the road...

Starting out on hole one...

He did really well this trip and tried the whole time...

Form isn't the best...it was nice to see him trying.

We both were so excited about my hole in one...YEAH mommy!

Can't avoid the game room..,skeet ball!

It was a fun day and I am so glad I am able to do things like this with him...he is amazing and I am a lucky mom. I just adore this child!

Weekend...

Here are a few photos from the past few days and a recap.
Wednesday I came back from speech with Zach and went down the street to a coffee for my squadron...only the second one in 3 years I have attended...I disliked the old Commander a lot, so the first two years I had no desire to go to the ones hosted by his wife that I didn't like too much either...the past year I have had a hard time making the coffees...they have either been when Brandon is gone (tdy), nights we have something else going on or often in town. So this was a few homes down, I was able to go. It was fun and the wives there were mostly all new to the squadron...figures. I am leaving the new ones are great and fun people. But I met them, have the chance to keep up in the next few months before I move and maybe end up with some new "friends" down the road. Never know...
Thursday I was in town and got some things done...nothing too exciting...Brandon flew and was home late. Friday I had a play date for the kids in the afternoon and that was nice...we hit the park since the weather was so sunny and no wind. Miracle here to have no wind! I saw my friend Kristie and her three little ones...it was nice.
Friday night Brandon and I headed out for an early anniversary dinner and had big Erin babysit. The kids adore her, so it was a treat for all. We went to Fresca II (the place I took you mom and dad when you were here). Nice dinner and good food...all in all a nice night out for us. I got up today, walked Sally and went shopping with the Erin's...tomorrow is my date day with Zachary....we are going to town to play miniature golf. I am so excited...picture for sure to follow...
Here are a few from the past few days...not many!
Also...thank you for all the comments on my last blog. I got a lot to my personal email and appreciated everyone's thoughts and the chance to share mine with all of you. I have to agree with my mom though...I might actually be luckier than most, I have gone to Holland and Italy and they are both fantastic.
Zachary showing off his light bright picture...fireworks!
Erin working in the playdough kitchen...

Both the kids doing playdough...Brandon had fun with them while i was at the coffee...