Another Monday...

Today was pretty uneventful...Zach went off to school with a new van driver and no issues. He even told her that she was a good driver on the way home...she thought he was so cute. I did get an email report later from his teacher. She said he had a hard time today that they didn't do the letter A as planned...again, kids with his issue struggle with change, so I don't know why this is so hard for his special ed teacher to get...He apparently whined and even cried a bit, but wasn't awful...so to me that is progress. Whatever...I have taken a new approach...what he does at school is for them to start to address...I can't fix it once he is home and I am not there to help him deal with it. I do his homework and we talk about things, but otherwise I refuse to get upset about stuff I can't change or fix. Deep breath....
We played in the play pool out back while Erin napped and just had a lazy day...all in all good. We had dinner and a bike ride tonight and he had fun with that.
Tomorrow I get my stitches out in the morning while he is at school. That office is overbooked and super busy, so I will get nothing else done I am sure. Brandon has a flight tomorrow and will stay late to finish up work so he doesn't have to go back in the rest of the week.
Again I tried to step out of my comfort zone and reach out to friends...I know this deployment is going to be hard for me. It is unlike others before with the support of a squadron...no one else in my shoes to go through it with me. No one giving me information or offering assistance. But beyond that I am lonely here...lacking in friends to be honest. Last fall the lady that watched Zach for over 2 years moved...then we moved to a new neighborhood on base and with that our neighbors moved. Two families we were close to moved off base...A family we were really close to moved to Vegas this summer. My parents moved from AZ to NC in April...so I am feeling more alone now...I know I will be okay and can do this, it just would be easier with a better support network. I emailed two friends and basically said I know this will be hard so I would love to get together for play dates, even dinners if your husbands are TDY or will be home late some nights...anything. Here is Zach's school schedule and when we are free...didn't even mention poor Erin's naps...just hoping for offers to get together. One hasn't emailed back yet and the other spent a paragraph telling me how busy she is next month with her family in town, a trip to LA, then one to San Diego and her kids schedules down to nap times...but if I need them for an emergency don't hesitate to call. Thanks...I will be sure not to bother you if I am just in need of good ole adult conversation and oh what is that word....ah...frienship. Insert bad language here.
So...I refuse to get down and frustrated...I will stick to my schedule, try to do fun things when we can and take anyone up on any offer of fun, help, etc. I will look forward to my time in October with my parents...they don't know yet, but they might never make it off the base again once I get them here!!! :) I plan to enjoy every moment of their time and my time at Christmas. I refuse to let people get me down...My kids need me to get through this and I can do that for them and for me. I have people that love me and support me even from far away and I will let them help with love, support, phone calls, emails, whatever...
Okay...now that I have bitched and given myself a pep talk I am good...Off to watch my TV shows nicely recorded by me beloved DVR and head to bed...

fun photos...sweet moments

Just wanted to add some fun photos and sweet moments from the weekend. Time is passing way too quickly right now and I am capturing as much as I can. We had a nice weekend...Saturday Zach and Brandon went to the pool for several hours and Erin stayed home with me and napped while I did some things around the house. Today I got to take Zach while Brandon stayed home and got things done during Erin's nap time. It was nice to break up the time for us with him and also take the time to get things done around the house. Brandon got the spot light in the back yard up...we had it in the other house and it is so nice to have when it starts to get dark early here...the kids can still access the yard and play outside even after dark...without a local neighborhood park now, this is a big bonus for all of us. He also serviced the Civic at home, changed oil, fluids, inflated tires, etc. So nice to be married to someone so darn handy. This is why I get nervous when he leaves...he can fix almost anything and usually does. Literally around here if something breaks Zach turns to me and says, "Oh no it is broken....daddy will fix it." We clean out the garage a bit and have some items to give away, get rid of and get to the thrift store. The kids and I watched the Sesame Street DVD about deployments...trying to get the point to Zach. He watched it a few times and wanted a calender...the kids on there used one to cross of the days until daddy comes home...so we went and let him pick out a calender tonight in town. He seemed excited about it, so we will go with it. Got the webcam to work! Little by little things are coming together. I won't lie, I am sad and scared...but I can do this. Some days are going to be easier than others and some days I will want to crawl right back into bed...but I can do this. I am not aiming for perfection, just day by day. I have some goals while he is gone that I will try to work toward...a stack of books to read too! Before we know it January will be here!
So...the last week begins tomorrow and we are getting prepared as we can...and enjoying all we can...
Here are the photos...Erin in the tub last night...all smiles my little ham.
Yes, she really is this happy about 98% of the time...
My handsome boy...
Giving her brother love taps...

After dinner bike ride...he will be getting a new bike over the holidays since he is getting so tall!

Off he goes...
The boys...
The girls...(my house is the one directly behind me head in the background)...I kid you all not when I tell you we have no grass...enviroscape they call this...sandbox is what I call it...
Cuddle time with daddy...precious moments...

Hidden Treasure...

Well I meant to post last night, but ended up reading and watching the Olympics...it was nice to just unwind a bit. Yesterday I went for a long walk while Zach was at school...went with Erin and the Erin that watches her. She got a part time job offer yesterday and took it...I am hoping it doesn't grow to conflict with her time with us and most of all that in a pinch I can still ask her for help with things here. Little things like getting my hair cut will be difficult now...my hair dresser is no longer working Tuesday and Thursdays (the days I am in town with Zach and not Erin) and not working Saturdays...seriously! Just little things like that will take some juggling and adjustments...
Got his IEP scheduled for September 25th...they scheduled it for me at 7:30 AM on the 18th, so after several emails and a threat to call the principle...I got a time that works for me...hopefully they will make some good changes and we can get his Occupational Therapy included.
Last night we went for a trip to the park after dinner...yummy dinner!! Had fun playing and of course I forgot my camera...next time...then we headed off to the BX to get ice cream and look for an extension cord for the backyard light Brandon will be putting up this weekend. We all enjoyed ice cream, except for Zach of course...he doesn't like it...oh Zach. So we wandered the BX and got a few items we needed and of course ones I didn't. I said we should check outside in the garden section for any plants or sale stuff...as always the plants are on deaths doorstep...walking in we stopped to reprimand Zach for something. Brandon looked over and squealed..."It's Boo Boo Bear". Boo Boo was sitting right there on a display dinning room table. Just laying there...probably where my daughter flung it well over a week ago...seriously people! I have called that place, been up there three times...searched the store...I am actually happy for Zach's misbehavior for once, it lead us to Boo Boo!!! He is now being washed for the 3rd time in the washer! Erin was so excited to see him too...so sweet!
Today I am off to the commissary...yuck! Then hopefully some pool time and just good ole family time together. September 3rd is fast approaching...lots to do...
Here are some cute photos of Erin from the other night...I brought out an old baby stroller we had when Zach was tiny...she loaded her baby doll in it and cruised the house forever with it...laughing all the way!

Making progress...

I feel so boring this week...nothing too exciting to post about...I took some cute photos of Erin tonight, but didn't have time to upload them yet. Will do that tomorrow for sure.
I took Zach to school today and stuck to my plan to go do a long walk at the park...yeah! The weather was beautiful. That part of Palmdale is actually semi pretty, so it was a nice walk and the sky was just breathtaking blue...love those days. Not too much wind, but enough to make it nice. I did 3 miles and felt great. I was a bit bummed that last night my IPod went on strike...it had to be reloaded...okay to be fair I rarely use the thing, but it still made me mad today that my standard play list I like to walk to was no more. So, I just walked my butt off to my Dave Mathews albums on there and that was fine.
Side note...so sad to learn of the death of their saxophone player Tuesday...he was one of the original band members...for anyone that does not know...I LOVE Dave Mathews. I am a huge fan...been to over 5 concerts I think...just love him and the band...very sad news!
So, I will need to get my IPod back on track...I am not a technological person, my husband is. I forget to charge my cell phone...thank God for car chargers so I can charge it on the way to town. I love my email, facebook, ebay, etc...but that doesn't mean I am super into gadgets...Just figured out a few websites. :)
Brandon took Zach bowling tonight on base...he loves to go bowling (throwing marbles). Good daddy time too. No matter how much I am trying to approach the subject of Brandon leaving, I feel like I am getting no where with him. In the end I think he will have to just have it happen to get it and I hate that for him. It is going to be so hard for him to understand and I just hate that he and Erin have to be without Brandon...I am an adult. It sucks for me and I will miss him, but I understand this is his job and will cope as best I can. They will just miss their dad!
Got a few books I ordered online today...yeah! More things to keep me occupied at night and on down time.
Got information about things on base too...Plan to try taking Zach to gymnastics on base on M/W from 2-2:50. There isn't anything offered for Erin (that is who I had hoped to get into it), but they have something for his age group and honestly he is not super coordinated, so I am hoping this will help. Found out the pool is open some good hours starting after labor day and we can take part in going there...hoping I can convince some of my girlfriends without kids to assist me on a few occasions. :) All in all I am making progress with some things.
Found out that Zach will qualify for a casework from the county (Kern County). He will be given a case worker out of Tehachapi...area about 45 minutes north of us. That person should then help us set up behavioral therapy. Finally some progress...should hear from that in about 3 weeks. Also copied the Rules and Regulations for CA laws for kids with disabilities...plan to be prepared for his IEP meeting next month...and placing that big book on the table next to me will show them I mean business...
Brandon has a lot on his to do list before he leaves...I better go and get some of my things done too...Photos tomorrow I promise.

Another day...

My head is feeling much better tonight...I took a shower in the late afternoon and got a chance after to clean it well with some peroxide...it looks and feels a lot better now than it did last night at this time. Another good day of school for Zach and a good report from his teacher. He had a good night at speech too...all in all his day went well. I let him nap before speech because he seemed tired and a bit out of it, but the payback is that he wasn't as tired for bed. So, back to no napping we go unless he falls over. :) It is so hard on speech nights since I want him to be bright eyed for Miss Gerri, but then I pay for it when he doesn't get enough sleep for preschool tomorrow. Always making adjustments. I plan to go the local park while in town tomorrow and do some walking...my IPod is all charged and ready to go...I am excited! I miss walking Sally every day...that doesn't seem to happen much now, or at least not the long walks I am used to with her...just quick ones around the block to get the mail. So, this will be nice for me. Got some good info today with all my phone calls about the things that will open and available once summer ends here. I am hoping I can tackle most on my own, but if not that I can recruit help with the kids.
Shared some photos from last night and today of Erin playing in the backyard...She is really starting to enjoy some of the fun stuff we have...She loves the playhouse! Off to read and bed...always long days when I am in town in the mornings....

Erin at the playhouse...
Love this one...just like grandpa, checking her mail!
Posing for me...she is so sweet!
Playing in the water table...full access without Zach around.
Trying to go up the slide like her brother does. :)
Like my dead grass!!! I am so done with the housing people on this issue!!!

Bumps be Gone...

Well I had both my cysts removed today...both were about marble size and required a few stitches in each. I will be going back next week to have those removed. It was actually a bit more painful than I had expected and still hurts tonight more than I had thought it would. But, they are out and hopefully in the end that will be a good change. I have had one of them forever...the other has grown and gotten painful over the past few years...so it was time. So, my bumps are gone!
Zach had a good day in school, got a good report from his teacher that he did well and was a good listener. Yeah.
Brandon and I spent the AM together after we dropped him off...we went to Super Walmart and stocked up on items to send him to his deployment....snacks, on the go drink mixes so he can add to his water...got a new web cam from his laptop...I realized I don't need one...my mac has its own built in...whoo hoo! Hopefully we can practice using that this week and get it down so we can use that when he is gone...that will help both the kids a lot to be able to see and hear him. It was nice to have some time together to get a few things...he went back to get Zach while I was getting scalped....then we headed home...
We are hopeful that things with the behavioral therapy we have been requesting will come together soon...sounds like he will be given a case worker through the county...spoke to the lady in Bakersfield today and she said we should he definitive news in a few weeks. Finally. I also got the name of someone about piano lessons. We are thinking about trying that with him. He has an insanely good memory and loves music. He was looking at sheet music the other night and telling us, "That is a whole note, that is a crescendo, that is a quarter note." It was crazy, he was right. We are also hoping to get the kids into swimming stuff even after the pools clothes, hoping the indoor pool will be accessible to us. I want to do gymnastics with Erin, but there are no times when they offer it on base that I can take her alone...I will work on that one and see if I can get help to watch Zach...it is a simple mom and me class, so nothing big...Just stuff to keep us all busy out here while Brandon is gone. The lack of friends to do things with is really what concerns me the most...I just want to keep us busy and hope that helps the time fly by faster.
Okay...I am off to soak in the tub for a bit and to bed!

Random thoughts...

Today was a good day...love those! Zach did really well heading off to school this AM. He noticed right away it was not white van 41 that picked him up...he said, "Uh oh, it's not van 41, it is a 42." So observant. He got right in, said hi to the other child and was all smiles. He came home all smiles too...thankfully! He was able to tell me several things about his day. He got a good report from the teacher in her afternoon email to me and it was great to know it started off well for him. I hope that it continues...
Erin and I took a long walk to the post office to mail my ebay stuff...it was a nice walk for me and hopefully something we can do often. I will admit I miss the days of my long walks with Sally just to think and unwind.
We went to the pool tonight briefly when Brandon got home. I stuck to my schedule and fed the kids at 5 and he got home at 5:30...we then loaded up and went to the pool...they close at 7. We stayed about an hour and got home for baths and bed. He is so tired now at the end of the day from waking up so early and being on the go all day with no nap.
Sally is continuing to make me happy with her no barking...I love her bark collar!
I never blogged that I did get my Mac...I am still not super comfortable on it, but using it and enjoying it a lot.
All in all it was just a good day...no issues or problems...it was fun. I am always thankful for these! Tomorrow I am off to the dermatologist to have my cysts removed from my head...sounds worse than it is...Brandon and I will take Zach to school and then go shop for a bit before my appointment...then get Zach and be on our way...wish me luck!

Good Weekend...

This was a good weekend...too fast, but good!
Saturday day we hung out in the morning and had a yummy breakfast. We went to the BX so the boys could get their haircuts and then did some shopping at the commissary. Nice to have the company and get it done together. Then back to the house to get Erin a nap and the boys headed to the pool . Erin and I met them up there after she got up. We got a fun surprise to have Erin who watches my Erin up there with her husband and Rozlyn and Erik...they were coming to watch the kids later. So we stayed and played and had fun. Zach spent most of the time with Roz or Erik and had a blast. He has known them since we moved here, he was Erin's age at the time. He adores them! It was fun and we promised him to go back since he had so much fun and was actually in the big pool and trying to swim with the life vest...no slide again! But, he didn't care this time.
Later we went on our date. The night together was nice, but the date didn't pan out as planned. The restaurant we went to was new, so we of course got all the kinks that later maybe they will fix...poor service, food not as expected, no liquor license...lots of issues...ended up actually getting the meal for free...long story...headed to our favorite sushi place and ate that. Then got Sally a bark collar at the pet store...I am so happy today...the sound of silence! Then off to the movies...saw Tropic Thunder and have to say, it was funny. Kids did great and we had a nice night...
Today we had breakfast and back to the pool at 11 when they opened. Zach got right in his life jacket and then was a water bug all day. He was jumping off the side to me most of the day and then we would swim around. At one point he told me he wanted to do it all by himself and for me not to hold his jacket...from that moment on, I never had a hand on him except when I caught him...he was awesome. Erin faded around 12:30 and went home with Brandon. I got to stay until 3 with Zach. We had a blast together alone and just both love the water and pool...it was so much fun to get to stay and play. I am usually not the parent that gets to do that fun stuff with him so it was a treat.
Tomorrow he is off to his "green speech school" in Boron. I got an email from the teacher tonight and she commented that she hoped he did well with the time change...what? Turns out he got moved to the early class and no one told us...so he will be going from 8:50-10:20 and the van should be hear around 8...I am glad she told me or else we wouldn't have been ready until 9:30. This will work out well for us though since that is the time we leave for his school in Palmdale on T/TH...so our days will all be the same as far as time to get up and get to bed...yeah! Hopefully he will have a good day and all will go well.
So here are some photos from the weekend...

Getting ready to jump in...
Big jump...
Letting go of Dad and swimming back on his own....
My little man....
Climbing out on his own...
Us before our big date night...

Erin and I before we went to the pool this AM...
Big hugs!
Big Smiles...
So proud of himself...

Serendipity...

I spend a lot of time on my blog chatting about things in my life, the kids and sometimes even ranting on my soap box...tonight I decided to devote some time to someone that means a lot to me, but I don't talk about enough...Brandon.
He is leaving soon...September 3rd. I feel so unprepared even though it feels like we have known for an eternity. So much about this deployment is harder for me than the past. Unlike in previous squadrons this deployment is totally different. Brandon will be heading to an AF base in the middle east, so relatively safe. He will not be going with a squadron, just himself. He is going to fill a job basically. The AF has AEF cycles...during that cylce you can be picked to fill a job for the AF...his name was in the bucket and he got picked. It doesn't have to be a job you are trained to do, just a job that needs to be done. Because the squadron here is a test unit, they don't deploy...that isn't their job. So he will go there to do a totally unrelated job, no flying...not a ton of fun for him. There is no support network here for me since no one else's husband is leaving too. It is just so different that how we have gone through it before. It feels scarier and a lot lonelier. But, we are strong and will get through it day by day. I worry about the kids. Zach is old enough to be aware, asks a lot of questions and will miss his dad terribly. Erin adores her dad and will just be sad not to have her person here. I will miss most watching him with the kids. Just to see their faces light up when he walks in the door at night, hear their laughter when they play and know they have him here to make life brighter and more fun.
Brandon and I are not perfect...not together or separately. I wish I could gush on and on about our amazing love story, but that isn't me. As Renee would say, "You aren't a gusher". Brandon and I met on a fluke. I was talked into going on a blind date to an ROTC function by my friend Joe...went and didn't have a good time (understatement). At the end of the night met a nice guy who asked who I came with...told him a guy whose name was a car (Ferrari) and I was having an awful time...needless to say that as his friend and roommate. Foot in mouth. We talked later that night and hit it off well. He said he would call, but never got my number. Days later he did call and asked me out. On our first date he brought a photo of me he had taken at Joe's Halloween party. We later discussed the number of times through college we had crossed paths and never really met...serendipity. When we did meet in November of 1998 it was the right time for us and it stuck. We dated a short time and were engaged in August of 1999...he gave me a great proposal that was a huge surprise...I love surprises! We were married in January 2000 in Vegas and again in March of 2000 in front of friends and family. We have never had honeymoon...we didn't even have a honeymoon period. We have had our ups and downs and several bumps in the road. We fight....we get upset with each other...we don't always see eye to eye...we push each other's buttons and often don't act as mature as we should. However...beneath it all we love each other.
Brandon is a very different person from me on a lot of levels...how we grew up and where we came from and the way we go about life. But we somehow met, connected and got each other. Brandon has always made me feel safe. I know I can count on him and he will always be there for me. He is my best friend. He is smart. He is loyal. He is kind. He is generous. He is funny. He is a genuinely good person. He is determined and motivated and a hard worker. He makes me laugh. He is a great dad. He has given me two amazing children and a life that I am glad to share with him.
I will miss him. I will miss telling him about my day and what the kids did. Sharing moments in our home as a family...having his love and support up close and there. I will miss his hugs and his smile. I will miss sharing jokes and laughs with him. I will even miss some of the super annoying things he does. I will miss him a lot...
No we aren't perfect, our love isn't perfect, our relationship isn't perfect and our life isn't...but I don't do perfect. I am glad we have had struggles and moments that were hard so we can appreciate the ones that are great. I don't say it enough or brag about him enough and I should do that more...I love you Brandon.
This is a picture taken of us in Tucson two years ago...I love this photo because we had a great time on that trip together and we are there in the place we met and fell in love...just a great memory...
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away."

Just because...

Just thought I'd throw on some photos for the night...nothing too exciting to share...I am heading back to my hair dresser tomorrow...she seemed to have missed a section of my hair and it isn't layered like the rest and driving me bananas. Erin is coming to watch the kids so I can run to town...
Brandon and I are going out Saturday for our date...think we will try the new Japanese steak house in Palmdale that just opened. Always a fan favorite. Any movie ideas? We haven't been to the movies for a date since...well we went to see Juno over the holidays while my parents watched the kids, but before that it was Fever Pitch when we lived in Abilene...so sad I tell you! Send ideas my way!
Finished my book this AM while in town...Resistance by Anita Shreve...liked it a lot...good read.
Kids are both doing well and all of us sticking well to my Super Nanny schedule. :) I am loving having it in plain sight for Zach...I think it will be a big help for me in the coming weeks. Plus getting him to bed by 8 is awesome...mommy has mommy time. I need that.
Sprinkler guys coming tomorrow AGAIN! Our stupid housing is on sections for the watering...so 4 houses get watered on a zone that we don't control. Well we have had issues from day one...we have a small patch of crappy grass and it is about 75% dead...4th time they have come out to look at it...I am pretty irritated and will try tomorrow to convince them to re sod it...my dog and kids have so little play area as it is, to have it dead isn't okay.

So here are some random photos for you to enjoy...
Zach and Erin yesterday watching Sesame Street...Erin just woke up, so she is a bit dazed...


Playing on the trusty train table...both kids have loved this more than any other toy...Erin plays with it all the time!
Pebbles pony tail...so funny!