Just my thoughts...

Okay...after back and forth on the topic for two days we have decided not to return to SD this weekend and go on a date. Several factors. Not often do we get dates. Reality, we usually only get them when my mom and dad are around and nice enough to offer. Zach loves the couple that have offered to watch the kids, so we feel like he will have a good night too. This is a young couple we have known since we moved here and they are great to me...always there in any time of need! She is a nurse and he is a big kid...safe and fun! So dinner and a movie I think for us. I would go to San Diego a million times if we could...I would move there. Reality is that we have a lot going on and stuff we need to do. Brandon has a lot of packing and some household things we need to work on and being gone just seems to procrastinate that. Zach starts back at his speech school Monday, so I want him not over tired for that. Also...he still doesn't get some things easily...he is going to just think we do this on the weekends and expect it...so I don't want to start a routine we can't continue. We can always run to a beach next weekend if I am in dire need to see it one last time. :) So...dinner and a date...

I have been watching the Olympics at night when the kids go down...always love to watch them! I actually have a "friend" running in the women's marathon...I have known her since elementary school...used to carpool with them and she was only two years ahead of me in school...Best of luck to her...Go Blake!

Gotta say I am a bit baffled about people's shock to the issues with Russia right now. Listening to the news I just don't get it...do we teach history in school anymore. Did anyone hear of Ivan the Great, Ivan the Terrible, Stalin? (I know my dad is reading this and waiting for me to say something wrong). All I am saying is the cold war didn't end that long ago...it isn't a shock to me that a country that was so completely consumed with power and conquer wouldn't have that still in their makeup...I think we as a society should take a long look at the world right now and the powers that are rising up...history does repeat itself...we need to learn from it eventually.

Okay...I am off to work on our things to do list...I know I have a lot I want or need help with, but I will forget if I don't ask...and bed...so tired...stayed up too late watching the Olympics!

A Good Start

Well my Zachary Jay always amazes me...he handled today so well. We got to school...ON TIME! Yes, I was on time. I was even shocked by that. He walked in and went right to the teacher, said, "Hi Ms. Fabi!"...then he hugged her. He showed her his new lunch box...I got him a new one and wrote his name on it. He packed his own lunch...most of which he didn't eat, but he packed it and was proud of that. He saw his name on his cubby and was thrilled,"That says Zachary...that's my name." Then he thanked her. So cute. I left and went about my day with lots of butterflies and nerves...it went too well...I couldn't help but worry that he wouldn't do as well all day. Well, I got him at 12...went early to spy on him on the playground. He greeted me with a huge smile and hug. She said he did really well and had a great day...he was a bit fidgety...but have been dealing with that issue for about 6 months and have our eye on that being a new problem...always something. He seemed excited on the way home and that is all I can ask for. Otherwise the day went well. He was good and had a good day. He did some good pretend play...built things out of blocks in his room...I took photos, but didn't have time to upload. He usually doesn't build much, stacks and destroys...he built a freeway in his room for his cars. :) He kept getting upset with Erin and I told him if he wanted to play and not have her get in his way he would have to go in his room and play by himself with something. He went in and shut the door after I took out the blocks and got him started on building...when I left it was a crappie tower and came back to an interstate. I was so proud of him. Hopefully he will continue to understand he has to share his house, some toys and me with Erin. This is all becoming more and more of an issue as she is getting more mobile, curious and aggressive. She sleeps less so there is less alone time with me and with his toys around the house. So...all a learning process.
I supper nannies myself tonight and wrote a daily schedule for us. Basically a chart of times and activities. He does so well with schedules and his one at school. I think him having the visual aid in the house will be a big help in the coming weeks to keep us on track for bath, bedtimes, meals, etc. NO, I don't think it will fix the meltdowns and missing daddy, but will help him know what to expect and get him in schedule we will keep every day...continuity where I can get it.
We had a long talk tonight about learning to be a big boy in the house, sharing mommy and daddy leaving. We have slowly been gearing up for this since we wanted him to start school without added stress...but it is time to talk about it and get him aware that soon it will be just me. He has started to get more jealous of Erin and vice verse. It will be a test for both of them and for sure me, but I know we all can do it. It is wonderful to have him want me and need me...he asks me to play and do things now. So, I hate to turn him down, but some times he has to wait or do something else because of Erin...
I continue to read my Serenity prayer at night...always a good reminder.
God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
I can't change autism...I can't change the things in him that work differently, I can work on helping him learn and understand the right ways to do things and new options. I NEED to work on knowing when to push and when to not...that is my big job and something I am working on daily...
So...off to read and get to bed...thankful for some prayers answered!

photos from San Diego - Sea World

Okay loads of photos...sorry....Wanted to get them all on here. Here is Zach at the base watching his dad do a low level fly by in the b-1...you can see if by the telephone pole if you look close.

Beach photo....Brandon and Erin... my photos on here are all out of order, but no time to change...

Erin at the park...
Zach found a big pile of leaves...so many dying trees here..,he had a blast playing in them.
My handsome boy...love that smile!
Zach and I soaking up the beauty of the ocean....he is so much like me in some ways!

My Erin...she loves the sand and playing in it, but still isn't sure about the cold pacific water...
Sweet girl...she tries and hangs in on the hot days with us....
Zach and I full of smiles, in our favorite place...the beach!
The little man and the sea....Erin and her Zoe doll she got at Sea World...she was so done...

This was the beginning of the day...so happy then!
Both of them really done on the car ride home...love this picture!
Buried in the sand...and full of smiles!
My crew...I couldn't love them more!
They had this great jumping area for kids Zach's age...he had a blast in there and just loved it.

Sea world - Shamu show!
He loves his Shamu!
Erin liked it, but wasn't as impressed...
All in all we had a blast...so many more photos to share, but didn't want to overwhelm...will try to post more tomorrow...Brandon is at Travis for the next few days doing more training for his deployment...Zach has his big day tomorrow at preschool...same school, new room and new teacher. Bound to be a little stressful for him. I am off to get some things done and then myself to bed...

Ships Ahoy...

I have a million photos to download tonight and sort through before I can post any...so that will come tomorrow. We got home tonight and I have been busy doing laundry, unpacking, cleaning and getting stuff for the week done...so no time yet for the photos.
Brandon is actually leaving tomorrow afternoon for his TDY to Travis...it is for his deployment preparation training. I had hoped to go since we have friends there, but with school starting it is bad timing. And on that note. Both Brandon and I noticed late Friday that we had both mistaken the day of his TDY and Zach's first day of preschool...so in fact he won't be here for his first day with his new teacher in the 4 year old room. UGH. However, there will be many things he won't be here for and I will have to do alone. I know that Zach and I are able to do this together and be fine. I also know that Zach can do so much more than I often give him enough credit for...he is pretty darn amazing. I am so proud to be his mom and part of his life. He can drive me up the walls sometimes, but that little boy is remarkable.
Example...we went to Sea World Today. We haven't been there since May of 2007 when I was pregnant with Erin. Zach didn't say too much at this time. He loved Sea World on that visit, so we thought it would be a hit again. We asked him about it this AM on the drive over. He was sad to leave the hotel, so we wanted to get him excited. He told us he want to do make Shamu splash and that he wanted to do the roller coaster...the kid loves roller coasters! He has a great memory. We haven't talked about that trip to Sea World since we went and I was surprised how much he told us about the whales before we got there...he is amazing...
And on that note, so is San Diego! Brandon and I have always loved Tucson...we met there, went to college there and really love the city. But we might now have fallen as in love with San Diego. It is a great place that we continue to enjoy with each visit and find great spots. This trip we decided to stay at the NAS (Naval Air Station) on Coronado Island. It is on the north part of the island and the prettiest base I have ever been on. Hence, the title, ships ahoy. I really asked Brandon, "Can you switch services?" He didn't think I was serious, but I was. First the base is on Coronado Island...that in itself is great. Location people...I live in a GIANT sandbox. The navy lodging there is actually referred to as a resort. They aim to please in the Navy. The lodging is really nice, roomy, clean and super kid friendly. It opens up to the beach...private beach to the navy. Beautiful clean...so perfect. There is a giant playground, on the beach. Tables with umbrellas...on the beach...it is so fun! The best was were on the base, it was safe, clean and nice and only $77 a night. I highly recommend any military friends to think of this as an option. Summer reservations are taken 2 weeks out and the rest of the year it is 60 days out. We loved it and yes, we are going back next weekend since they had an opening. I was going to go on a date, but I can't resist the beach! I really love having the time to enjoy such a pretty place with the kids and Brandon and have a chance to do things we can't always do. We had a great time this trip...Sea World is a must. I think it is so kid friendly...accessible, clean, safe, fun for all ages, great food...it is a place I always leave feeling so happy we went to. Sadly I have left Disney each time feeling broke and not a lot to show for it. So, another note to military friends...busch gardens gives free admission once a year to military families at their theme parks. San Diego is the place!
Okay...I really am not making commission from the city, I just love it there and had a great time. I will post photos tomorrow...now off to bed so I can read some of my book...thanks April, I love the Resistance! Anchors Away...

Just saying...

I know I have touched on this topic a lot lately...but so I visit it again...friendship! It really is so simple to me...a concept that is pure, honest and basic. Friendship like a marriage, it ebbs and flows...I get that. Not all the time is our friendship perfect. We don't see one another all the time, talk daily or remember the big things we should. That is reality. I am not perfect, so therefor not one relationship I have in life is. I have flaws. I will gladly own up to them. I am rigid about some things. I have a temper. I am often late (okay closer to always). I speak my mind more than others wish...I have opinions and I am okay with sharing them and owning them. I have high expectations sometimes. I am not always as spontaneous and as able to live in the moment as I wish I was...I can be a pessimist more than an optimist. I yell. I get down on myself...I wish I had more confidence in me...I talk a lot...I can go on and on...
The point is no one is perfect. We make mistakes. We say things we shouldn't. We forget to call someone when we really should. We don't go the extra mile to do that little thing that would make someone's day as often as we should. We all screw up. While I have plenty of flaws I think I have some good points.
I am loyal to those I love. I will defend you, your choices, your life and all that you are until the end if we are friends. I am honest. While this can get me in trouble, I think it is nice that you know what you get with me. Don't ask me if you don't want to hear it. I can be a good listener and a good person to look at your life and your perspective. Somehow I can see other people's lives and issues with much greater clarity than my own...social work was a good match! I love my friends and enjoy spending time with them...I miss my friends.
I miss being around people that got me and that I felt safe and comfortable being me around. I miss knowing I could count on people. I miss having people in my life that made me a better person...people that challenged me, supported me, comforted me, made me reach out of my comfort zone, pushed me...
I miss having friends that were just that, friends.
My husband is set to leave in 3 weeks and people here are not at all how I would imagine them to be. A couple we have known for a while actually thought he was going to a stateside deployment after both had been told by us where he was going...thanks for paying attention. Another wife told me, "Well hopefully we can get together when my husband is gone on TDYs (short trips)." Thanks...wouldn't want to bother you when he is home. I have had more offers of help from my hairdresser and Zach's speech therapist then other AF wives. I really just don't understand why it is all so hard...I am hopeful, but not going to kid myself...I wish I could import my friends!
So...that is my friend rant...I try each day to be a better mom, a better wife, a better daughter, a better sister, a better friend...some days I rock! Others I am barely surviving and then there are days I should give up...but I do try...I am a work in progress.

Last day of summer school...

Not much to chat about today...I have been feeling under the weather all day...Erin is worse off than Zach in the illness department and has been so fussy all day long. I hate to see her like that, but it is also so hard when I feel like crap to pep myself up for her. But, I did my best...could have been better. We had a boring day of me cleaning while they played and watched tv...argued, shared, stole, pulled, hugged, etc. It is funny to watch. Erin is actually as much of a bully if not more...she taps so hard on his head to get his attention and then she is big into pulling his hair. Which of course follows with crying and hysterics from tough guy Zach. Oh...long day! I made dinner...Brandon flew the c-17 tonight so was home late. I swear, any night I don't cook and have nothing to prepare he is home on time, if not early. I cook, he is home late. It is a fact.
Today was Zach's last day in Miss Jennifer's class...they offered summer school at his preschool and all the kids from the 3 year old class stayed in there for the summer...so it was his last day with his teacher and half of his classmates. I am sad for him since I know how very much he loved his teacher and she loved him...and he has a few friends not going in the same room. He has three boys that he is friends with going to his new room, so that should help and be good role models for him. I do like his new teacher a lot. I spoke to her this AM. I wanted to let her know about his diagnosis and be upfront. The office staff had told me not to tell the teachers last year...let them observe him themselves, etc. Well I don't think that is the best or most fair thing for the teacher or for Zachary. First the teacher has no idea that this child might need extra help in some areas and won't understand why some things are harder for him, like changes in routines really do him in. Plus for Zach, I don't want him labeled difficult or a brat if he has an issue...I want them to know where he is coming from and why he is acting the way he is. She was very kind and thanked me for talking to her. She also spoke to Jennifer and hopefully they can share information. He seemed excited tonight and when asked who's room do you go to on Tuesday for preschool, he said, "Summer school is over now. I go Miss Fabi's room....room 6 on Tuesday." Numbers are huge for him...so he associates a lot with numbers.
Got my hair cut today...love my hair dresser. The biggest love I have for this area and assignment. I love my hairdresser. She does a great job on my "unruly" hair. ( My Korean hairdresser in Abilene referred to my hair as that). She and I are going to get pedicures in two weeks...Tuesday are her day off and a day I am in town with no Erin while Zach is in school. Will be nice to do an adult outing. Her son has similar issues to Zach and is now 18...she has been in my shoes and gets it...she is great.
Not much else to report...hoping we are all healthy enough to go to San Diego again Saturday. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

yucky sick...

Well I am feeling a bit under the weather today...head cold...always a thrill. Zach has his usual hacking cough...Erin has her usual nasty runny nose and I have both. Lovely. Oh well. It happens!
Zach had speech tonight with Miss Gerri. Despite driving into town the whole way yawning and telling me nine million times he was tired, he had a very good night. She did a lot of play things with him tonight and he is loving that. She is working a lot on trying to teach him how to be socially appropriate...taking turns, winning, losing, sharing, how to initiate play, pretend play, etc. He has just started doing pretend stuff and it is so fun to watch. Today he was a monster under his blanket...it was fun until he tripped and fell into me and smacked my face...then we played doctor to fix broken mommy. :) Erin had a fussy day...she is drooling like a mad women and has her nasty nose, so she wasn't typical Erin today. But, she did do some cute things. She picked up Zach's recorder (I have a big tub of instruments for them to play with) and blew into it...she was so excited that it made a big sound she did a million more times. Very cool to see her do this...Zach wasn't able to do that until this past year. I also said something about giving her a kiss and she walked over to me and put her mouth to mine...so sweet (minus the snotty nose - no wonder I am sick). Just so cool to see her receptive language develop. She said Nana over the weekend, so she is working toward mama. Zachary told her, "No, it is Mama Erin." I chuckled since this is the boy that up until last summer, called me Rarry.
Here are a few photos of the day...Zach was working on some crafts and Erin of course had to hone in on it...climbed in the chair next to him and tried to do her own. Miss busy. I got this fun stencils like what he uses at preschool (ebay rocks)...he was so excited! He told me he was working on his project. They played out back for a bit tonight too...so hot today, so it was their first outside time. Our grass again is on death's doorstep. I might not have to worry about mowing if it keeps looking like this...
I am off to sleep with the help of head cold drugs...oh to breath would be nice!

Zach shooting hoops...yes, he is very close, just happy to see him doing this!
My silly little man...love that face!
Sick, but smiley...
Craft time together...

Computer!

Well it sounds like my sweet husband is on the phone now with the computer people and working on my Macbook! I am excited!!!
Right now we are in the what do we need to get done mode...previously on all three other deployments my computer has broken...seriously. So this would be why the urge to get the computer now and plus this one has been acting insane for a few months...just random stuff is happening and even computer guru (Brandon) can't fix. If he can't, Lord knows I can't.
I re-learned the BBQ tonight...important. Apparently my son broke the ignitor switch on it a while back, so it is ghetto fabulous. I will add that to my wish list for our next PCS (military speak for move). Usually we save items like that for the move and spend the move money wisely. I plan to mow the lawn this week and refresh my skills on that. Funny how when Brandon is home I don't do these things. Luckily we have very little grass, so it takes moments to mow...I have people I plan to call in need if I can.
I had a busy AM...lost my cell phone...found it...I hate that! Got to preschool and scoped out the class thing. Hoping the transition won't be too much for the little man. Tried to find his new teacher to talk to her, but didn't see her...hope she is around Thursday. Went to Walmart and got groceries since the freaking commissary has been pissing me off lately. I am so irritated! Okay, I know I have stressed how far from civilization I live, so having the commissary is a real benefit...only if our commissary was ever stocked well or had produce that wasn't rotten. The last several visits just make me angry and I spend a fortune for stuff that goes bad...don't get me started on the surcharge I pay (whatever happened to tax free) and then tipping the baggers...it adds up to not much better than I can do at Walmart. If I go when he is in school it is stress free and I am in and out without much of an issue...I can handle that.
Got home and my friend who is also friends with Erin (who watches my Erin) was here. Wonderful surprise to see her. We used to live across the street in the old housing area, now she is one street down from us and man does that make a big difference. She also graduated from Nursing school and started working in the winter, so she isn't home as much. It was great to see her, catch up and chat. She is wonderful with Zach and he loves her, so a fun treat for all. She offered to watch the kids one night before Brandon leaves...I plan to take her up on it for sure. She even said we could spend the night out (we would just stay at billeting-base lodging) and she and her husband would stay here with the kids...so we will see what we can swing. It would be nice to have a night alone...
Busy tonight doing my ebay stuff...I did my sweep of the house and collected my stuff and now time to sell...I really do love ebay...I don't care much what that says about me! So I am off to list the things and get to bed at a reasonable time...maybe even watch Army Wives that I have waiting on the DVR! I tried to post my scrapbook photos again...I think the computer is anti scrapbook photos...

computer issues...

Okay...spoke to the preschool...round about and not too convincing reasoning of why they put him that room. I was okay with it at first until I asked if he had friends in there...not one friend in there with him. I was then back to being pissed. Got him moved to my second choice teacher. Hoping this will work out and he will be excited since 3 of his good buddies are in that room. The teacher I had wanted already has a "difficult" student in the class...If my memory serves me right he had this girl with him this year and it might be best not to be with her. So we will see how it goes. Next Tuesday is the big switch to the 4 year old room. Brandon and I are going to take him together and spend the AM there while he is in class and pick him up together...should be a BIG deal for him and hopefully he will handle it well. Brandon will go that night to Travis AFB for training for 2 days.
Got some more work done on services for him today...hoping to get another referral in for behavior stuff soon...
We went to town today to look at a laptop for me. :) A Mac! I had a Mac in college and Brandon being the computer guy when we married just made those decisions...I have been okay with dell, but never cared enough to change or say anything...so we looked at them today and I have to say, I liked it. Making some calls for pricing and and seeing if we can swing it before the deployment...would be my gift after if not...I am also praying for a new camera, the canon rebel...so we will see if the deployment gods are listening to my requests. I am over the blue boxes and looking for technology this time. I will be sure to post when or if that happens.
Brandon is night flying tonight, so it is me and the kiddos...I am feeling pretty bored after being gone all weekend and having fun stuff to do....imagine how the kids feel?
I did finish my NC scrapbook, uploaded the photos and just spent 15 wasted minutes trying to upload on here...my darn computer won't let me...hence why I need a new computer and fast...So, lets hope I get one soon...Hopefully we can get if fixed soon.

San Diego...

Well we are back from San Diego...Always hard to come back here after being down there. So pretty! We are actually going back next weekend...I know we are nuts. We went to the Navy base there and checked out their lodging and it was nice...we then called the NAS (Naval Air Station on Coronado Island). We have tried to get lodging there several times and haven't been able to...got something for Saturday...so we plan to head down that AM and come back Sunday...super rates on the rooms and it is ocean side!!! We didn't make it to sea world this trip, so we will hit that first...once Zach sees the beach we are pretty much beach bums...
We had a nice time, the hotel was okay...usual find online...not as pretty as the pictures show and lacking some of the basic amenities I think resorts should have. It was clean and the Island it was on was quaint and very cute...but wouldn't stay again at that specific hotel. But we had a blast and were out most of the time, so it was fine...
Zach as always loves the beach, loves the water and is so happy to be there...me too! We are so much the same about that. Erin is still not sold on the super cold water, but loves wandering the coast and is always happy when there are oodles of people chatting to her. She played a ton in the sand, ate and was just pretty content. We had a nice time and all came back with nice tans. We just love the laid back atmosphere of San Diego...it is a fun place to go and we are glad we can get there pretty easily from here. Here are some photos from our trip...

Erin with sloppy sand on her face..didn't mind a bit...
We believe him to be the sand thrower...oh Zachary...

She took her toys and marched off to another spot...
I love the beach...I love the smell, the sound, the feel...love it all! I need a beach house!
Smiley and happy and in San Diego...
Okay...this was the cutest thing and a bit sad all in one. Most kids make snow angels...well I guess kids that grow up in a desert don't see snow, so the next best thing is, sand angels...here is Zach's interpretations....

Erin and I in front of the Marina...this was located around our hotel...pretty spot, Shelter Island is super cute, but the hotel, not so much...You learn!

Still not sold on the cold Pacific waters...
Zach is like me, a beach is a beach...go forth and enjoy!
She enjoyed sand castle time with daddy a lot.

So that was our trip in a nut shell...no major issues or problems and we are excited to head back next weekend. We are enjoying all we can while we can!

I will try to post my scrapbook photos tomorrow...I didn't want to really overload the world with photos tonight...but I did finish it Thursday night! SO happy to have that done and I really like it.

I am off to bed now...long day for me and tomorrow we are going to try to run into town for a bit in the AM while Brandon is home...I have a bone to pick with Zach's preschool. After two formal requests of what room I want him in the fall, they wait until the week before to send the letters home with the class information...not the room I wanted him in, not even my second choice...I am not happy at all and plan to let them know. So, wish me luck!