Twelve....

Twelve years...we just marked out 12 year anniversary.  In twelve years we have been through a lot and done a lot...and through it all one thing is for sure, Brandon is my best friend and my constant.  I have amazing girlfriends, friends and family, so please no one misread the above.  But, daily in my life this man has stepped up and been there for every small and big thing.  He isn't afraid to tell me when I am wrong, overreacting.  He is there to support and encourage me...to give me the security to know he is there.  He is a great dad.  I am thankful to have him by my side in the super fun and enjoyable moments, but also the challenging ones that can bring a person to tears.  He is a hard worker....okay that is a complete understatement.  He is one of the most determined people I know...he works longer hours than most, achieves more than he often shares and rarely complains.  He is a good friend, loyal and kind.  He is a man I am proud to call my husband.  I am so thankful for our time together and look forward to what lies ahead in our next adventure and beyond. One of my favorite quotes, "We might not have it all together, but together we have it all". That about sums it up.  Thank you Brandon, I love you more than you know!

Spring Break...

So sorry I didn't get this stuff posted before, but better late than never, right?
We had a very low key, but fun spring break.  I am so thankful for the time together...I am wishing each day they stay small just a bit longer and that time slows down so I can continue to enjoy them at this special time and age...it just goes too fast.
We spent the Monday of spring break at Sea World with friends...Zach's BF and his teacher's family.  It was a lot of fun and a great day, sunny and warm.  Tuesday Zachary got to go on base an fly the T-6 (trainer plane) simulator.  Dad was a rock star that day for sure, hooking him up with a wonderful 45 minutes of pure boy enjoyment.  Erin had no interest, so Zach gladly took her time and enjoyed it all.  It was a great.  We went to our first family night time movie...saw the Lorax.  We went to dinner at the Tower's of America for our Anniversary (2nd year in a row...tradition brewing). Zachary, Erin and I went in for eye exams...I am still stuggling to come to terms with glasses full time or one contact...I just am not a contact fan...Zach was told he needed glasses, big shocker!  He has one eye that is very near sighted, but on all regular exams at the Dr, he was fine...so glad we took him for a complete exam. He was actually really excited about it, picked out his pair and has handled wearing them great. :)  All in all it was a fun week filled with love, smiles and surprisingly no arguing or fighting that I can remember.  I can say that is a huge improvement for us.  Vacations, while always a fun thing, tend to be super stressful and difficult for us. The lack of structure and routine kick our butts, usually Zachary's and make them harder than they should be.  This was an exception to the rule and I loved it. I am hopeful we are turning some corners, but I know, 2 steps forward usually means 3 steps back and with a big move ahead, I won't kid myself yet, we have a long way to go until we kiss difficult goodbye.  But, it is a step in the right direction for now, and I will take that!

Here are our photos...

Playing their DS games together...this is a big thing for them to do together.

 Date night! They think going out for our anniversary is such a fun treat.

 Picnic at the park with our church...

 Sea World

 My handsome boy...

 Shamu...

 Maddie and Erin...sweet girls...

 The dolphins!

 Erin...

 Atlantis, Zach's favorite ride.

 Zach and his BFF Max...

 Erin and I and the Penguin...she loves Penguins....

 Flying...

 Glasses...

 Waiting in line to meet Elmo and Abby from Sesame Street...

 With his dad...such a fun day for him...

 My handsome and sweet boy....

 He had the hang of it...

 My wonderful family!

Autism Walk....

We are all signed up and ready to go for the Autism walk here in San Antonio...April 14th!  The link below has some information if you are interested in joining us or donating....We are so proud of Zachary and all he has accomplished...we know how very blessed we are!!!



https://secure.getmeregistered.com/homepage.php?id=3764

Lent begins...

With the start of Lent it is often a time people stop and think of things they can give up and do without.  Things they don't need, should quit or are too dependent on.  I gave up soda last year and haven't had any since.  I am not sure this year I have something to give up, I have so many things I wish to change and to work on in my life and myself.  I fall short so often of the person I should be and I know I can be.  I would love to be more patient, more thoughtful and more forgiving.  I would love to curb my temper and frustration...be more present each day in my life and enjoy everything as it comes and as it is.  I hope this Lent season I can find things to change in my life and give up some habits and parts of me that I am not very proud of having....
That is the part of church I hope my children learn and appreciate...to realize we all can be better than we are.  We are works in progress.  As long as we keep trying and hoping to improve, then we are doing okay.
I did copy one of my favorite songs from church from youtube to share...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gr-fzOSRERs

Last week was a rough one...

We had our first official re-direct at school last week.  Re-direct means that your teacher is having a problem with you and you either refuse to cooperate or are unable to for some reason.  Zach has made it 2.5 years without one...until Tuesday.  I went to pick him up at 2:40 to take him to therapy...he is always up at the front office and this time wasn't.  The receptionist is always super nice to me and wasn't very friendly...hmmm. Then I spotted his special ed inclusion teacher and saw the top of his head...they were in the office area...not a good sign.  I walked over knowing full well something wasn't right, but had gotten no calls all day, so I had no idea what it was....
He apparently had an awful day.  Everything and everyone made him cry. He was upset about everything and anything and it started early, never really improved.  He had an issue at Recess with some other kids and that seemed to really set him over the edge.  Then he ended up refusing to calm down and go out of the class with his inclusion teacher. He was being disruptive to his class at this point.  So they called the re-direct.  Instead of the usual person, the vice principle came.  Zach apparently handled it well and had a good talk with him.  However what was said, broke my heart...
When I picked him up I got the recap and was told what he said.  "I want to have an operation to remove Autism from my brain."  He said he wouldn't have to do therapy if it was gone, he would be able to control his temper and feelings better...he seemed so sure he would be better if he didn't have it.  I took a deep breath and told him what I thought....the truth and I mean this.  "Well Zach, if I had an operation that could get rid of your Autism tomorrow I wouldn't let you do it.  You are perfect the way you are and you are how you are because of Autism. You have worked harder than most kids your age learning to do things that are hard for you and easy to some. You have accomplished so much more than people thought you would. You continue to excel and amaze me. You are so smart, kind and full of love.  You are perfect just how you are, how God made you, how I love you. "  I honestly believe this and know in my heart that he will one day too...but it isn't easy to see your child suffer and feel hurt.
But, it reminds me of why I do what I do and why I parent the way I do. Life isn't easy for most kids...teasing, bullying...kids can be mean.  I want him to be tough enough to know that he is loved and wonderful to us and to a lot of people that know him. Life won't always be kind to him, especially other kids. I want him to have a thicker skin and self worth. He has done so much and will continue to do more. He is amazing.
Thankfully, the rest of the week was much better.  He accepted why we do therapy daily and why he has limits on things...and why he can't have a quiet class without friends talking to him (a big complaint last week)...well he might not understand, but he is trying to accept....
I swear the easier this road gets, the harder it gets at the same time...

35 was good...

I did have a great birthday this year and was spoiled rotten by me sweet family....generous, thoughtful gifts sent and given to me...I felt very loved and am so thankful for all I have in life.  Here I am on my date night heading out to dinner and the next day (my birthday) blowing out the candles on my ice cream cake.  :)  

May this year be filled with goals accomplished, good health, good choices, new friends, happiness in our new assignment and lots of great opportunities for all of us.  Looking forward not back and be willing to change things...I think it will be a good year. 

sizing it up

Most birthdays for me have always been about basking in the joy of having my own special day.  Who doesn't like the attention, gifts and all the fun stuff that goes with birthdays...really they are just a lot of fun if you let them be.  As I have gotten older I have been blessed with a loving husband that spoils me rotten with wonderful surprises and attention on my special day. He always know how to make me feel loved.  I am so thankful to have that in my life.  I can't say that enough, I really love that he lets me love my birthday.
This year, like the past few, it is hard to have a day all about me when you have two little ones that think every day is all about them. :)  But we try anyway.  Having my family around me is my present.  Sure I would love to be on a sunny beach with my toes in the sand, a drink in one hand and no worries, but reality is that isn't my life.  I have a great life...but it is a tad different than the sunny beach picture.
Birthdays are strange.  When you are little you can't wait to grow up, to get to that next number.  You turn six and you start telling people, I am six and a half as soon as you can or, I will be seven on my next birthday.  You are always ready to be older.  That is until you get older.  Older is the other side of the fence, the grass is always greener type of thing.  You are sure you want it, until you get it.
I never put much thought into getting older or the idea of aging.  I didn't worry about gray hair or wrinkles, getting fatter, my body changing or any of the "fun" parts of aging.  But now...sigh...this birthday I am thinking...I am noticing...I am Sizing up 35.
I am older, that I can now see. I don't look in the mirror and see the same girl.  I now see wrinkles, gray hair, dark circles, signs of my age all over my face, my body, me.  Not in a bad way, but it is there, it is obvious to me now in ways it wasn't a birthday or two ago.  Or maybe I wasn't looking.  Either way, I walked with my husband in a sweet little Texas town last night and I was quiet.  I was thinking.  35 years of life.  I am thankful for each one, thankful for my family, my children, my health, my life.  I know I am blessed and I have more than I deserve.  I can't help but to feel like I haven't accomplished a lot.  I haven't done very much in my 35 years.  I know, I know....I can hear the buts from here.  But seriously...It is how I feel.
I am so proud of our life...being a military spouse, having two amazing children and getting to stay home with them is a privilege to me. I have a lot to be proud of and a lot of things in my life I do each day.  But, I also know there is more in my life to do and accomplish and that time will come.  I look forward to setting some goals and accomplishing them.  Maybe 35 is a great birthday to reflect, look forward, and to be excited for more things to come.  And maybe it is a time to stop and enjoy each day that I am 35...not hurry to be anything but who I am, right now!

overload...

Right now that is how I feel...
Our move is a few months away, but I am on the computer 5 times a day looking at the same rentals and wondering if anything new will pop up, what can I do without, what can I tolerate?   Have you looked at rentals on line...really looked.  Some of them are so disgusting and scary...the decor, the uncleanliness, the strange things people do to a home...all of it is mind boggling and makes the process that much more frustrating.
Add in that I am very picky about the children's school.  Erin will be in kindergarten and Zach in 3rd grade. I want them both to be in a great place, a good school and around an environment that makes them feel good, flourish and excel.  I refuse to have this year be one that I say, oh we moved and they are transitioning.  No.  Kindergarten needs to be great for Erin...she is little and not where Zach was at this age...she needs a great school, teacher and environment to learn.  Zach is so special.  So smart, sweet and capable.  But he needs a school where he won't be overlooked, a behavioral problem and he will be appreciated. He needs to be challenged.
I have been looking at specific schools in Beavercreek, only two that I feel okay sending the kids to...but the houses are few and far between in that area and what I have seen is to be honest, not good.  Then I have looked in an area farther away...still nothing great. I found one house that I loved...LOVED. Called and it sold 24 hours before, paid cash.  UGH.
So today I got online again, opened my mind to some other options.  Trying to listen to some advice and ignore other.  I know people are well intentioned, but I know my family. If we live 5 minutes from base or 45, Brandon won't come home for lunch. If one more wife tells me that he can next year I will laugh out loud...no, that isn't him.  And why would he?  Both kids will be in school all day and if I want to have lunch with him, I say eat out.  His commute can be 25 minutes, but the kids can't be in a class where the ratio is 25 to 1...not if we have another choice for them.  So...tonight I started to look at more houses and I am realizing, if we go for the best schools, we will be in a small house in an old part of town...I am nervous about cutting back and storing things.  But in reality, I love old homes. I can do anything for a year. Things are just that, things.
So...I continue to pray for things to fall into place and ask that you say one or two as well if you wouldn't mind.  We are so thankful for the time here in San Antonio and in reality we have grown so spoiled with this house and all we have.  I am reminded how much we can be enriched in other ways...

New Year....Resolutions? Goals!

I like the idea of having goals/resolutions, whatever you choose to call it, each year. I think it helps me look back on the last year and see where I "failed" to complete things I had wanted to do or to be proud of what I did do.  Either way, I like setting some goals...sadly I seem to look back each year and always wonder why didn't I do that.
So...
Last year I didn't stick with several things, but some things I did and a few things that weren't on my list are accomplishments I am proud of too.  I quit soda last spring...sometime around March, but it wasn't a Lent thing. I just decided to see if I could go without and now almost a year later, I am soda free. I was a soda junkie, so for me, this was huge.  I have always needed to drink more water than I do...mostly for my colon that isn't the best at doing its job. :)  I hoped this would force my hand. I still need to drink more than I do, but I am way better than I was a year ago.
I completed a 5K with some friends.  I still hate running.
I joined a gym last spring and went a lot....loved the classes and had so much fun. But in the summer it dwindled.  A big reason was child care.  I loved having Erin there, she was in a safe fun room and most of my friends that went were moms from her preschool, so she had friends with her a lot.  Zachary's child care wasn't the same.  No real regulation, supervision...I never felt like it was a good fit for him and wasn't comfortable going.  We loved the splash pad and used it a lot. After my beach trip I couldn't get into the groove of going...so by October I quit.  I am sad about it, but it was a good choice since I wasn't using it enough.  I am putting my money into other personal improvements. :)
I didn't catch up on scrapbooking.
I did read, but not as much as I had hoped.
I did try to do better about my personality traits...we are all works in progress.
So this year....my goals are a bit of the same and some new.
2012 GOALS
1.  I did quit the gym, but I have a goal for keeping fit.  I looked back on times when I was most fit or thinner and all where when I was walking a lot...Living at Edwards I walked a ton and I was in good shape there...so I am back to walking.  I love walking and it is a great for Sally.  So my goal is walk her every day.  On days we can't bc of weather I will try to use my treadmill or head to the base gym.  It isn't the Y with my friends and close to the house, but it is free and an option I can turn to now.
2.  Catch up on my scrapbooking!
3.  Continue to read...a book a month is my goal!
4.  Learn to Sew!  I have signed up for like 5 sewing classes and never have had it work out....so I have a friend that is a great seamstress...going to have her give me some lessons...
5. Work on having my nails taken care of...no weekly manicures, but do it myself, clear coat, clean looking nails.
6. Make time to do fun things with my family. We spend so much time on school, therapy, work, etc...I need to make it a point to make time for fun.  Enjoy all the moments we have as much as we can.
7.  Continue to work on being a patient, loving, compassionate mom and wife.  To tone down.  Lower my volume.  Think before I speak and before I act.  Apologize for my mistakes.  Be present!
8. Spend less, shop less...save more.  Pretty simple, but oh so hard!
9.  Find more ways to give back and volunteer...I miss that and enjoy it whenever I get to do it.
10.  Be better at communicating...text less, call more.  Send mail.  Surprise someone with a little token of love or friendship.  Go for coffee with a friend.  Take time to talk and listen.
I hope that in 2012 I can accomplish a lot of things on this list and above all, try my best to make myself the best me I can be.

More Christmas....

Since I didn't get any photos up the other day, after I said I would, I thought I would take some time now to do that...
We had a great time at Christmas having my parents in town.  Such a treat for us and the kids since we don't live near family and our visits are less frequent than I would like.  The kids were so happy to have my parents here, show them all the new things they can do, new toys, games, etc.  Most of all to have them around to hug and kiss and talk to...it is sweet to see how they interact.
So here are some photos...

My mom and I on Christmas Day!

 Brandon and my mom...the two of them really are the cooks that put together our meal.  Brandon was quite proud of his yummy turkey.

 Zachary...love his sweet face and sincere love of all of his gifts...even clothes. He honestly just was thankful....

 But some items were pretty big hits. ;)

 All Erin wanted was a baby doll high chair...well she got one!

 And a princess scooter. :)

 And someone else got a big boy scooter this year.

 And Sally got a stash of new goodies.  She was particularly found of the Santa.

 Their sweet faces as they saw the gifts for the first time. Love this.

 Our tree...

 My parents and the kiddos.

 My sweet girl and her Santa Key...since we don't have a fireplace the kids make magic keys to let Santa come in the house.  They make two, one for the front and back door, because you never know which Santa will use.

 His key was so good this year...he took his time and it was done so nicely.

 Making sugar cookies.

 Erin forever being silly...

 Mom and Zach playing words free together.

 Erin!

 The bakers...

 I love this child...

 The sweetest treats are actually the ones making the cookies if you ask me.

 My mom and her little buddies...

It was a great Christmas and I am so thankful again for the time with my parents and for the opportunity to make wonderful memories.
I was sad the weather didn't cooperate with some of my plans, but hey, it was better than being sick with the stomach flu for most of the time like last year.  We saw lots of lights at Windcrest one night, had lots of yummy dinners, played board games, went to church together on Christmas Eve and enjoyed each other...A wonderful visit.